'Vincent's Poem H2'

The title of this column means a lot to me. Aside from being in the family business of creating beautiful jewels, my late mother, the lovable Mila Dayrit, often called us her five children, her most precious family jewels.

To me, family jewels revolve around close-knit, loving families with good old values. My personal family jewels represent another kind of wealth, which goes way beyond the material. There is much I treasure that money cannot buy.

Here is a piece of paper that I consider a priceless treasure. It is a memoir written by my son Vincent when he was in second year high school. An assignment for his English class revealed that he is responsible in thought and deed. For this particular paper, I am amazed at how Vincent, at 15, imagined himself to be a father writing to his future son.

He succeeded in delivering to me and his father such valuable lessons that I will never forget. I wish to pass on this learning to other parents, students and teachers who I know will benefit from it, as we did.

On a personal note, I am happy to share that Vincent got an A+ for this paper. He then received first honors in academics for the third quarter of last school year.

His English teacher, Francesca Cruz, wrote this note at the bottom of his paper: “This is a wonderful ‘poem,’ Vince. Filled with a lot of beautiful and important insights that, sadly, even most people in the university fail to understand and learn or even think about. I’m so glad to read this from you. It makes me feel hopeful and optimistic — that somehow, education, real education, still exists and still affects young learners. Thank you, Vince. This sort of affirmed my purpose as a teacher.”

I’m sharing with you my son’s paper, with the label Vincent’s Poem H2.

14 August 2011

Dear Son,

School is where new things are learned and where your knowledge is exponentially expanded. It is a positive place, not a boring, limiting prison. Do not hate school, it is for your own good.

As for grades you get, don’t think that they make you who you are. They are not everything. I could care less about the grades you bring home. The only thing I want from you is to look me in the eye and truthfully tell me that you learned something new. Especially now that you are entering high school, some things may change. You will have to adjust to a new crowd of students, a higher set of expectations from your teachers and more difficult and complex topics. This doesn’t only have to be a lesson in school like learning how to use a new formula. It could be a moral lesson or a value that you realized is important.

Let me tell you a story.

Practically all throughout grade school, I was an honor student. I had no problems at all with keeping my high grades. But, all of this changed in my first year of high school. My grades started to plummet. From my usual 9/10 or 10/10 scores, I was down to 8/10 and sometimes even 7/10. A score of seven is a failing mark. I became frustrated with myself. I was doing everything right. I was listening in class, answering questions in class and reviewing. What else could I have done? I did not know what was wrong. Why is it, for the first time in my academic life, things were not going my way?

I started questioning myself and the system of the school. One day, after receiving another mediocre 7.5 out of 10 in one of my quizzes, I went back home and did not study. Instead, I reflected on my lowest grades ever. All that I did that night was lay down on my bed, close my eyes and think about the difference in my effort and performance in school. I also started questioning not only the system of the school, but the entire point of going to school. Once the clock struck nine, I started writing. This is what I came up with.

I don’t understand.

I study. I listen. I review. I do the homework. I understand.

I get low grades. Why?

I get pressure from my parents to get high.

I believe students hate or fear their parents because of things like this.

I believe that must be changed.

I get low scores now. I don’t understand how.

I get told to study harder.

I believe in studying better in less time than studying the whole day.

I believe parents can help their children study.

I believe they must not just tell them to study.

I change my view on school.

I change my view on grades.

I change my view on pressure.

I thought high school was supposed to be more fun.

I think grades aren’t the purpose of school.

I believe school is for learning.

I believe cheating is a result of pressure. I believe giving up and making “tapon” are a result of a lack of encouragement, mental toughness and seeing the big picture.

I believe it is not grades. I believe it is to learn, to comprehend, to understand, to apply, to realize, to reflect, to remember.

I believe in learning.

I believe in understanding.

I believe in learning and getting low grades. I believe not in cheating and cramming and getting high grades because of it.

I believe tests are made to see how much we have learned.

I believe teacher must teach, explain and give importance.

I believe tests are not the only thing.

I believe grades are numbers that reflect how students are doing in school.

I believe grades are only numbers.

I believe if I have learned and understood but have gotten lower grades, I believe it is fine.

I believe application is key.

I believe application will only be possible if a student remembers the lesson, its message and its importance.

I believe application will not be possible if a student does not remember what he/she has learned.

I believe it will therefore be useless.

I believe cramming and cheating are useless.

I believe school does not revolve around grades/high grades/getting high grades.

I believe getting low grades are normal.

I believe learning is the better thing.

I believe in “What did you learn today?” I believe in the lesson.

I believe not in “What will come out in the test?” I believe not in the test.

I believe a report card is just a report.

I will not be able to bring around my grade. I will be able to bring around my knowledge. I will be able to bring around what I have learned, what I have remembered, what I have understood, what I have realized and apply it.

I believe Math is for Economics, for Accounting, for finance, for precision.

I believe English is for social skills, street smarts, conveying thoughts and ideas, reasoning, understanding.

I believe Science is for applying; knowing how things work; knowing the mechanical, electrical, digital, natural world around us; improving ways of living; surviving.

I believe Social Studies is for correcting mistakes, big ideas, national and international improvement, adapting to change, appreciation and generalization.

I believe Christian Life Education is for reflection, for application, for morality, for spirituality, for righteousness, for living.

I believe Filipino is for life, for interaction, for street smarts, for getting around, for equality, for nationalism.

I believe Chinese is for the future, for business, for interaction, for travel, for bargains, for good deals.

I believe school has a higher purpose.

I believe we must see the bigger picture of things.

I believe parents and schools should create environments of learning, positivity and encouragement.

I believe school is not about grades.

I believe not in grades alone.

I believe in knowing what is taught.

I believe school is not objective.

I believe school is for development.

I believe school is for life.

I believe in the application of morals, lessons, general ideas and importance.

Do not cheat or ask for answers. If you do this, you will not learn and therefore, will just be cheating yourself. Do not concern yourself too much with your grades. The grades will come if you just keep in mind the things I have written and think of the bigger picture.

I am telling you this now because when I was about your age, I learned through experience, the hard way. So, go to school and learn.

Love,                                                                                    

Dad

(Would love to hear from you at miladayjewels@yahoo.com.)