Values I live by

Through the twists and turns of a tumultuous life, I have managed to hurdle the many challenges along the way through the values I have picked up from loved ones who have touched my life in one way or another.

We never stop growing for as long as we never stop learning. The best gifts I have ever received are lessons from family and friends. Here are the 26 values I live by as taught to me by special people God has sent to accompany me on my life’s journey.

1. Be careful how you think. Your life is shaped by your thoughts. I learned this from Sister Fidelis Estrada r.a. during our Assumption High School Batch ‘79 retreat.

2. A Bible verse says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Our high school Religion teacher Cory Villafania would fondly tell us, her hyper, multitasking students, her own version of the verse: “Be still and know that YOU are not God.” From Teacher Cory’s husband, Nelson Villafania, I learned, “It’s more important to be fruitful than successful.” 

3. At the end of the day what matters is not how much you made but how much you gave away. I learned this from architect Jojo Dayrit, my household head in Couples for Christ. Another CFC friend, Reena Murga, taught me a very simple prayer: “Good morning, dear Lord. I thank you for this day. Please take my hand and show me the way.”

4. My “co-divine tart” Jojo Ocampo once shared in our monthly prayer meeting: “Always do the right thing.”

5. Dr. Vic Gozali, my cancer surgeon, shared with me: “There are four crucial elements to recovery from illness. Strong faith in God. Supportive family. Positive attitude. Trust in your doctors.”  

6. From my prayer partner Cynthia Tinsay-Gonzales: “Everything is in the attitude. There will always be moments of trials and adversities in life, but the attitude we take makes all the difference in the world. For your attitude affects the attitudes of people around you, too. Thus, what attitude do we take when faced with difficult circumstances? There lies the key to living a happy peaceful life or a life fraught with disappointment, fear and anger. Which one would you take?

7. My late father Ting Dayrit said this about the purpose of money: “It allows one to be generous. We are mere stewards who should not keep what we are blessed with to ourselves. Do not deprive yourselves of the joys of sharing. And from my late mom Mila, “Always be on your guard, hija, we are not saints. There is much temptation in the world.”

8. My only brother Mark, the family historian, always tells us: “Precious family memories are kept alive by sharing. Through story-telling, inspiration is passed on to the next generation. Never tire of telling tales.” My sister Jaqui believes, “Prepare good meals for your family. Nourish their bodies, as well as their souls.” From Christine, I learned to find God in many places. My sister Yvonne finds delight in saying, “Don’t forget our miracles. And don’t waste them.”

9. My spiritual adviser, the healing priest Fr. Gerard Deveza, taught me: “Lift up your pain for the healing of others. You will feel better and happier.”

10. From Loudette Zaragoza-Banson, my source of inspiration: “I learned to love and appreciate the benefits of praying the rosary. In my most trying times it has never failed me to ease my pain, calm me down, comfort me and bring me peace and much needed good night’s sleep.”

11. Less is more.

12. Benny, my hubby, says: “You only have one body. Choose to eat right. Make those healthy choices.”

13. My 16-year-old son Vincent says: “Help others who do not have what you have.”

14. My sisters in Clay (Community of Lay Assumption) taught me lessons, too. Beth Adan said, “The Lord gives you another day, not just for yourself but in order to help others.” Our Clay head Chinit Rufino said, “God doesn’t always give you what you want, but what you need.” From Nicey Cadlum, I learned to consecrate my loved ones to God in prayer. It really works. And from Mrs. Casas, “God arranges all circumstances for as long as you are faithful to Him.”

15. My beautiful friend Sonya Garcia of Sonya’s Garden taught me to look at the funny side of life and to set aside what she calls a “be kind to yourself day.”

16. From my classmate Romina Sabnani-Murjani: “Spirituality cannot be confined to the hour we spend communicating with God through prayer. Spirituality needs to be expressed in our every thought, action and way of life. It is for us to create that atmosphere at all times.”

17. My father-in-law Willie Soliven said, “For all the good things I have received in my life, I do not consider myself lucky, I consider my self blessed as they are gifts from the Almighty. And I thank Him every day.” My beloved sister-in-law Celeste Alinea-Soliven, who goes to Mass every day: “The Mass is the highest form of prayer.”

18. Do not rush through your day lest you might miss out on those moments of grace. An angel whispering in your ear. A child needing your attention. A friend with good news to share. A good deed you could have done. A lovely garden in full bloom. A bright idea building up in your head. Don’t allow your busyness to dismiss these.

19. Three things to pray for daily — protection, provision and direction.

20. No one can outdo the Lord in giving.

21. We must spread love, gratitude and generosity everywhere we go. It is contagious.

22. Pray for others instead of yourself, for the Lord knows what you need even before you ask.

23. St. Marie Eugenie, founder of Assumption, my alma mater: “We are created to know, love and serve Jesus and to make Him known, loved and served.”

24. “Silence is the language of God,” according to my friend Maritess Bichara-del Rosario.

25. Do not speak ill of anyone.

26. Remain humble. It is better to be humble than proud.

(Would love to hear from you at miladayjewels@yahoo.com.)