In this world, only two things are certain: life and death. Both are occasions. Both occasions make me ponder more about our existence.
That death can be a happy occasion is something alien to most. But two Fridays ago, I was so glad I attended the burial Mass of Nelson Joseph “NJ” Villafania Jr. NJ is the 24-year-old son of my Assumption high school teacher and spiritual mentor Cory Villafania. He passed away last Sunday after he was hit by a jeepney. The oblivious driver was texting away in a vehicle without any headlights.
Just when many thought teacher Cory would be bitter about the fate of her son, we were surprised to see a well-composed mother who, with her whole heart, accepted the circumstances that she and her family were in.
“My strength comes from God. I am not pretending to be strong. This is the fruit of joyful detachment. Ang mga anak natin ay hindi sa atin. They don’t belong to us because they belong to God. They are entrusted to us to nurture and when the time comes we must give them back as better persons to God,” Cory said.
As a family, Cory said they made a practice of praying together and reflecting on the daily Gospel. One day the reading was about the apostles reporting to Jesus. NJ particularly liked this reading because he knew, without hesitation, “One day we will all report to Jesus everything we have done.”
So, now NJ is reporting to Jesus in heaven. That he was a good child of God. That he was an obedient child to his parents. That he was a caring brother. That he was a loving boyfriend. That he was a dutiful worker. That he was a good friend.
NJ would have already reported to God the many Christian teachings of his father. Including the maxim that in life “one does not have to be successful, but one has to be fruitful.” In NJ’s case, he achieved both. He was a dedicated architect. He was a joyful son of God.
Bishop Jes Mercado, who baptized NJ into the Christian world, said, “I am honored to celebrate this Mass. Life is not measured by the number of years we lived but by the propensity by which we lived. God who knows everything, knew that at 24, NJ had already completed his mission.”
Teacher Cory said she and her family were deeply consoled that NJ died on the feast of Corpus Christi, which, to her, symbolized that NJ gave up his body and blood to God. He was buried on the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus after a beautiful Mass at St. Joseph the Worker church in Canlubang, Laguna.
Cory said her son died with a thankful heart. “Lagi siya nagpapasalamat sa lahat. For the big or small things. He would text me in the middle of the day just to say ‘Thank you, Mama for preparing my breakfast.’ ‘Mama, salamat po sa pamasahe.’ He was very cariñoso, very loving. He never complained. Hindi siya masyadong masalita but his gratitude reflected the love of the Sacred Heart.”
“NJ,” Cory said in her eulogy, “sa dami ng nagdarasal para sa ‘yo, nasa langit ka na.”
Nelson wore an immaculately pressed white collared shirt with DMCI embroidered on the pocket. This uniform belonged to his son NJ who was proud of the company he worked for.
Nelson said: “He was my namesake. Later in life, he told me ‘Dad, idol kita.’ I am so proud of you, NJ.” He added, “We gave NJ an assignment. Soon as he gets to heaven he will check on his brother JB who passed away seven years ago and say hello to his grandparents from us.”
“NJ didn’t die,” his father said. “He just passed on to the next life where he will be reunited with our Father.”
NJ’s sister, Michelle, said, “NJ and I are six years apart. I always looked after him when Mama was not around. When I discovered he died, I had this great fear that he was alone. But during the wake, I heard this song and I was so touched by the lyrics ‘Be not afraid, I come before you always. Come follow me and I will give you rest.’ I was deeply consoled.”
Michelle recounted that NJ was a caring brother who would always carry her things when they commuted together. And when they crossed the street, NJ would always take the dangerous side. His message to Michelle was “Ate, thank you for taking care of me all this time. I hope you knew and felt that I took care of you, too.” Michelle’s message for NJ is “Thank you for the 24 years I’ve known you. Even if I nagged you all the time, I was — am — proud of the man you’ve become. I love you.”
NJ’s pretty girlfriend, Jessica, 22, said, “NJ had very rosy cheeks. He would text me all those quotes. When he opened up to me, nagulat ako. I discovered that malalim ang pagkatao ni NJ. He was not only handsome, he was also deep and very simple.”
“We had great plans. He gave me this ring. He called it a promise ring. We had big dreams. He would build us a home. We already had names for our future children. He even told me that we would need a big lot to accommodate our parents and our family members,” she said. “He always wanted me to go to Mass with him. I know that he wants me to forgive and move on. So I will. Please continue to keep me in your prayers,” remains her humble appeal to family and friends.
Jessica said to her beloved NJ, “ Enjoy the trip to heaven and I love you, very, very much.”
NJ’s friends, officemates and cousins also said beautiful words about him. I’m sure NJ is now relishing those sweet words in heaven.
Towards the end of the necrological service, compassion was felt in the air as his dad Nelson said: “I would like to say to the driver na nakasagasa kay NJ, pinapatawad na kita. I’m sure that even in death forgiveness is also what NJ wants to give to the driver.”
With the many people who attested what a kind-hearted soul he was, NJ surely is smiling from ear to ear as he listened to all their loving messages. Truly, who would have thought that at 24, NJ already lived a filled and fulfilled life? At the end of the day, I still believe that, as the novena prayer for NJ went, “we never lose those we give to God.”
(Would love to hear from you at miladayjewels@yahoo.com)