The sparks are charging the air, your body starts to hum in anticipation, you tilt your head and you lean forward a little; then it happens. It is that one defining moment where you decide if the person you’re kissing has the right chemistry for you. In a study published last year in the scientific journal Evolutionary Psychology, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women said they’ve been in the position of being attracted to someone — until they kissed the person, according to CNN.com.
Kissing someone new is like tasting new food; you don’t really know if you will like it until you try it. Kissing is what all the flirting, eye contact, holding hands and other physical or emotional actions lead up to. It can sometimes make or break a relationship. If you do get that bad kiss, it is a huge disappointment; all your expectations and eagerness are for naught. Unfortunately, we all have to “kiss a few toads before we find a prince,” as the old saying goes. We have all had the sloppy-slobbery kiss, the timid-impassionate kiss, the punishing-brutal kiss and many other unfavorable experiences. And unless we are self-conscious, we all naturally think we are somehow pros at kissing, which is definitely not the case.
It is hard to determine what a good kiss or a bad kiss is, especially for the inexperienced or for those who don’t pay attention. It all comes down to what you are looking for in a kiss. Gordon Gallup, co-author of the study and professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany, found that for men, kissing is more often used as a means to an end — namely, to gain sexual access. Men also are more likely to literally kiss and make up, using kissing as an attempt at reconciliation. Women, on the other hand, use kissing as a mate-assessment technique, Gallup notes. They subconsciously evaluate mating potential from the chemicals in their partner’s saliva and breath, for instance.
These findings make total sense; this is reality. Women are more sensitive and relationship-driven so kissing would be another form of evaluation to see if their guys fit the bill. Men are more sexually-driven, so kissing is mainly to just heighten their senses.