Sweet dreams

And I thought you could only say that phrase to bid someone good night. Like a parting cliché, I thought it was just a send off message to wish someone a restful slumber. I somehow believed the oft-repeated phrase only belonged to someone winking his or her way to dreamland.

My nephews and nieces, however, have another take on "Sweet dreams." They say those words even in the morning, in the afternoon, at night. Every time we see each other on weekends or talk on the phone every day, they always tell me those two loving words. After bidding me "Good bye," "Sweet dreams" follows and they say this saccharine expression even in broad day light. Always, always, no get-together or telephone conversation among us is complete without this phrase. And they will simply not leave or hang up until I return their "Sweet dreams."

Indeed, dreams are sweet. What sugar is to cake, a dream is to life. The minute one stops to dream is the moment one begins to die. It’s dreaming that propels paupers to become kings. Imagination leads to creation.

Sweet dreams are the glue that keeps us together as a family. Between my pamangkins and me, these sweet dreams make us discover further our strengths, let alone recognize our weaknesses. But even our limitations, as I always tell them, are manageable if not at all conquerable. The more we dream, the closer we become.

Take for example Nikko, the eldest at 13 among my seven pamangkins. He wants to become a basketball star. Every summer, he enrolls at a basketball clinic and gets to play in the yearly pa-liga. Now that he is in second year high school, he is very active in their intramurals. Once, however, he came home crying because he broke his arm while playing. His injury was so severe it also affected his spirit. After a week, with his whole right arm in cast, he went back to the court. Not to play. But to cheer for his team. They did not get the championship trophy that summer but Nikko won over his fear that he could not play anymore. One day, perhaps, I will be out there in Astrodome cheering for him. I will make sure to bring with me a streamer saying: "Sweet dreams!"

This early, dreams are what keep them excited. Nikka, Nikko’s eight-year-old sister, wants to become an artista. Her brother Nikkel, three, and I are her biggest fans every time she does her soliloquy which she herself "wrote" and "directed." Their cousin Nikki, 10, is a journalist in the making. She joins every journalism seminar and contest in school. "If I don’t become a journalist, I want to be a lawyer," she tells me all the time. Of course you know what I tell her: "Sweet dreams."

On the other hand, Paopao, Nikki’s nine-year-old sister, aspires to become a teacher, perhaps to follow the footsteps of their Tito Rod, my youngest brother. When she was seven, Paopao taught her playmates how to ride the mountain bike of her Tatay in our backyard. Now she and her playmates have this little biking session every afternoon. She first learned to ride her little bike when she was smaller. But every time her Tatay would ride his big bike, Paopao was always spellbound as if wishing that she could ride his father’s bike one day. Indeed, she did. When we woke up one morning, we found Paopao steadily maneuvering her father’s bicycle. Yes, she was all smudged up – because she stumbled and fell several times before she was able to "commandeer" her father’s bike – but Paopao was in heaven that moment. She was cautioned by her parents about riding a bike bigger than her but Paopao did not grumble, groan or gripe. After she cleaned up, I lovingly pulled her aside. "Congratulations, Pao!" I told her. She just winked at me and gave me a hug.

One night, while I was watching Go Negosyo on TV, Nikki and Paopao joined me. They could not understand what entrepreneurship was so I came to the rescue explaining to them the advantages of owning a business no matter how small. The following day, they cracked-open their Jollibee alkansya and, now, every weekend, the sisters are selling ice candy at home hoping that before the year ends they will be able to buy Christmas presents for everybody. The last thing I heard, Nikka and Nikko also want to go into partnership with them. Whew! Kids are capable of multi-tasking, too.

As for Gabby, five, she is still undecided what she wants to become. (Sometimes she wants to become a cop, an engineer, a scientist and her list of ambitions grows depending on what she acquires from school.) But one thing is for sure, Gabby, with her one-year-old sister Alex, dreams of going to Qatar to visit their Tatay who works as a cook in a restaurant in Doha. When we brought my brother Odick to the airport early this year, Gabby told her Tatay: "Balik po kayo kaagad, ‘Tay (Please come back soon)." Odick just nodded, trying to control his tears. How do you explain to a five-year-old kid that the two-year contract of her father means an "absence" of Odick in two Noche Buena feasts, two birthday celebrations, two school years of not pinning the medal on her? But Gabby contents herself in counting the days (much more the planes that fly high above the roof of their house every day) to see her father home. I’m sure it won’t be long before Gabby can personally say to her Tatay: "Sweet dreams."

Of course it is not always "fine and dandy" with the kids. The girls get to fight over petty things. Nikko is always caught in the crossfire because, being the eldest, he does not take sides. I am the arbiter. Nikko brings the quarreling girls to my court. We flesh out the juvenile issues. I literally draft a resolution that they will not engage again themselves in the same problem. I make all of us sign our pact. They say sorry to each other. Ahh, for these kids, sweet dreams are made of these: being able to be who they are without inhibitions, being able to say sorry because a well-meant apology leads to a more united relationship, being able to love each other’s similarities and differences.

"Fly high with your dreams," I always tell them. They understand what I mean – to set their goals and learn how to reach them. "Remember also that it is important to go back to the ground no matter how high you have soared."

Sweet dreams.

(For your new beginnings, please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. You may also snail mail me at The Philippine Star, c/o Allure Section, R. Oca corner Railroad Streets, Port Area, Manila. Have a blessed Sunday.)