Forbidden love

The poignant memories are still vivid in her mind. It’s been 14 years and my friend Teresa still clearly remembers her love affair with Martin. The long years gone by had succeeded in erasing the hurts and pains brought about by their forbidden love; but it failed to erase her love for him.

Their love affair was a testament that discrimination also existed in the uppity class.

For the ultra conservative Filipino-Chinese family of Martin, marrying Teresa was next to impossibility. "Intercultural" marriage was forbidden as far as Martin’s family was concerned because Teresa was not at all Chinoy. Despite the cardinal canons of his parents, Martin was more than willing to defy their rules. So to speak, he chose to die rather than marry someone he did not love.

Two weeks ago, Teresa (who has remained single to this day) sent me a letter. With her permission, I am sharing her letter with you.

Dear Büm,

My heart and mind remember it so clearly. Martin died on July 7, 1991 and was laid to rest three days later which happened to be his birthday. How life and death glorify each other. After all, when we are gone, people will miss and remember us by the kind of life we lived. No matter how long one has departed from this earth, they are remembered by the way they touched our lives. Martin has blessed mine.

On this day, I reminisce that memory of 14 years back. Just recently, I discovered that before Martin died, he sought permission from his parents to marry me. It was a despicable thought to even consider for the Chinese culture. Not securing their nod of approval, he rode his bike towards the sunset never to see it rise again. When his motorbike collided with a speeding car in the hilly Tagaytay countryside, many thoughts must have been rampaging in his mind. He disclosed to me minutes before that last bike ride that he was suffering on this earth – not being given the choice of how to live his life, denied of the freedom to choose whom he should love and plan the rest of his life with. His last words of loving assurance: "Teresa, if we cannot be together on this earth, we will be together in Heaven for eternity."

How can I ever forget how I was loved so unconditionally. Martin fought for our love from the beginning to the end. Just like my mom and dad who showed undying love for each other. Yes, my comprehension of true love is being the air each other breathes, the extension of each other’s song, not being able to last without the other for very long.

I must be worth loving, even worth dying for. We may never love that way again but we can, at the very least, continue to try. I have learned that life is too brief to shed a tear, to be unkind, to live in fear. Simply let go and "Let God." He makes everything beautiful in His time. All we have to do is trust Him, appreciate all our blessings and never take for granted the people who love us. I have been able to move on because these people held my hand through each storm.

Thank you for being one of those very special people who always provided a caring shelter for this weary ship to set anchor. Now, I am ready to set sail again and excitedly chart that destiny that God has planned for me.

No one can ever take Martin’s place in my heart. He taught me what love and life is all about. After all, worthless life is without love for living in a world of love is life itself. Love,

Teresa

(For your new beginnings, please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. You may also snail mail me at the Philippine Star, c/o Allure Section, Roberto Oca Jr. cor. Railroad Streets, Port Area Manila. Have a blessed Sunday.)