Tips for a stylish, sensibly chic wedding

The best wedding I ever attended was for my best friend Marilyn. She and her fiance Keith met at Hong Kong’s justice of the peace, she in a smart pink suit, he in his English grey. After the ceremony was over, we all went to an enclosed room at a chic restaurant and enjoyed a gourmet meal. We were six guests in all and if I were to do my wedding all over again it would have been done that way.

Such a scenario would rarely happen in the Philippines where families feel obligated to invite the entire barrio. "Not anymore!" insists uber-social coordinator Anton Barretto. "Filipinos have evolved to such an extent that weddings need not be expensive to be elegant." And having said this, he quickly gave this writer a grocery list of helpful tips:

• Control your guest list! Do not invite people who you are not truly close to. If you wish to invite your officemate, you are obligated to invite his/her spouse. Do not put the words "and Family" unless you really mean it. Usually, couples add a note card that indicates the number of seats reserved for their guests just in case these guests intend to invite other people to the wedding, too. (Case in point: I invited 300 people and close to 400 people showed up. Go figure!)

• A la Carte vs. buffet. This is a judgment call and all we can do is offer you the pros and cons of the matter. A la Carte dining is simpler because it controls a pre-determined amount of food (and cost) per person. However, a buffet gives the impression of a bigger budget. The trick is to work with your caterer on picking food that are delicious, plentiful but not very pricey.

• Forget the doves and cake! There are some traditions that really cost more than they are worth. Nowadays, people just skip the non-animal friendly act of pulling the ceiling off two doves. Also on its way out is that very, very expensive cake that will be forgotten after 30 minutes. If you wish to keep a semblance of the cake tradition, have your caterer prepare some sliced cake for your guests either on the a la carte ensemble or on the buffet table.

• Wow Philippines! There are just too many beautiful places in the country to miss out on. Apart from the classic Boracay, there is Bohol, Palawan and Cagayan Valley. Go to your local travel agent and find out which place and package would suit your taste and budget.

• Shop around for hotels that give special packages. Many of them offer the bridal car, reception flowers, discount on the food and beverage as well as an overnight stay. Make sure you go to as many hotels as you can.

• Get a coordinator. If you are too busy to orchestrate your wedding but are too limited in funds to hire a wedding coordinator, entrust your wedding to a responsible friend (preferably one who has been married. Believe me, one round in the wedding junket makes you an expert!) to handle the wedding plans for you.

• Gone are the days when you were obligated to make all the gowns for your ninangs. Sometimes, brides offer the fabric to their prospective godmothers but this is not a must. Equip them with a swatch of the theme color so they will be guided accordingly.

Lastly, if you adore designer gowns but cannot afford a designer’s price, let me give you a tip. Some designers send their orders to a trusted subcontractor. It is such a subcontractor that you must contact.