The author says that for healing to take place, you must first seek to understand yourself. Have the courage and believe you can do something about your problem. Stop making it big or someone else’s responsibility. Here are excerpts from the book:
• Surrender. It’s a beautiful world. To surrender means to give in, not to give up. Stop struggling, stop fighting. Accept that the situation you face at the moment is beyond your ability to handle. Why think that you have to cope on your own? Why think you are deficient if you don’t have all the answers now?
•Program success. Do you have unattainable goals and make impossible resolutions? Don’t set yourself up for failure. Plan, play and practise. Enjoy the process, release your expectations and success will come in its own time, and its own way.
•Do something practical. You can see the result of a practical act. You can’t distort or magnify it as you might do with your problems. Doing something practical puts you in touch with the "real world" again by putting your ego back in its place and allowing you to develop a broader perspective.
• Step outside. These two simple words hold the key to mastering a difficult situation. "Step outside" your subjective views. Imagine a padlocked fence or a locked door through which you must pass. Under a stone you find the key, and as you pass through your barrier, notice what it is made of, what it looks and feels like. By doing this you will discover what keeps you locked in your present situation.
• Nothing is set in concrete. Do you make resolutions more difficult by looking at the damage after the event and saying, "There’s nothing that can be done now?" No matter what has been done or said in the past, you can always change your attitude towards it. It’s never too late to make amends. Remember, what is now your present will soon become your past.
• Yes you can, no you can’t. Do you battle with yourself over things you can’t do? "Can’t" is often based on fear and guilt. "Can" is empowering and opens your mind to possibilities. "Can" requires courage. You have the ability. Be affirming and assertive and say, "I can, I can, I can."
• Conserve your energy. When you’re depressed you have no energy, you have no reserves. It’s important, then, not to overload yourself. Make sure that you don’t take on too much physically, that you get enough sleep, that you don’t take on other people’s emotional baggage.
• Aim for balance. Between your dreams and the reality, between work and play, between your physical, mental and emotional selves, between your masculine and feminine sides, between the rational left brain and the right. Balance in all aspects of your life will bring about a greater harmony.
• Get rid of "should." "Should" is a duty word, a heavy, suffering word. It brings guilt and resentment, both negative emotions that will drag you down. Every time you think, "I should," evaluate your options. If you really don’t want to do something say, "No." If you decide to do it, then feel only love, anticipation and excitement.
• The heart center. Wherever your emotions have led you, always bring your focus back to your heart, the center of love. Meditate on your heart. Feel its beat. Breathe into and out from it and mentally repeat the word "love." As you breathe it and feel love, give it lovingly and receive it lovingly.
You don’t need big plans, just small practical steps, small changes in attitude. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the most effective because they are the most accessible.
Sometimes when we are hurt, depressed or unhappy, we think that no one understands us, that nothing can solve our problem or that something or someone must bring about change. Let us not forget that the change is within us.
Look inside yourself and understand yourself. Know that you have it within you to do something about each situation in your life. Believe in yourself and make it happen.
(E-mail me at babyjackster@yahoo.com)