If a person has a tendency to be extremely stubborn and to procrastinate, then such an individual may have a passive-aggressive personality profile.
The Diagnostic Statistical Manual-IV (DSM-IV) Research Criteria for Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder states that for a diagnosis to be made, the following should be present:
A. A pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four or more of the following:
• Passively resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks;
• Complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others;
• Is sullen and argumentative;
• Is unreasonably critical and scorns authority;
• Expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate;
• Voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune; and
• Alternates between hostile defiance and contrition.
B. The disorder does not occur exclusively during major depressive episodes and is not better accounted for by depression.
This personality disorder is sometimes referred to as the Negativistic Personality Disorder. Passive-aggressive persons characteristically procrastinate; find excuses to delay performing their tasks; and will even find fault in the persons they depend on but refuse to get out of their dependent relationships. They are not assertive at all and are not goal-oriented about their needs and aspirations in life. They will not even ask what is expected from them at work or at home. They will then become very anxious when there is pressure for them to succeed.
When it comes to their interpersonal relationships, passive-aggressive persons usually try to manipulate others to put themselves in a position of dependence. People on the other end of such a relationship may experience this as a punitive and manipulative maneuver. In other words, passive-aggressive individuals also possess dependent personality traits. Thus, they expect others to do their errands for them and also to perform their routine responsibilities.
The passive-aggressive person’s friends will eventually get tired of listening to their claims of unjust treatment. This is because passive-aggressive persons are fixated on their never-ending resentments and thus will never seek enjoyment and satisfaction in their lives.
Passive-aggressive individuals are not self-confident and are forever pessimistic about what lies ahead. This is why therapy with such individuals has so many pitfalls. The passive-aggressive patient will keep on expressing feelings of resentment against the therapist on whom he or she also desires to depend on. Actually, the passive-aggressive is counter-productive; through his passivity and stubbornness, he makes himself a person who will never achieve success.
Now, dear readers, if you’re still in the period of screening your suitors, my word of advice is please don’t get entangled with a passive-aggressive if you want to have a happy life.
(In case you have problems about love, looks and relationships, do send your letters to The Philippine Star c/o Allure Section or send them directly to Suite 506 Medico Bldg., Lourdes St. cor. San Miguel Ave., Pasig; fax no. 631-38-77; tel. no. 633-38-93; Suite 309 Medical Arts Bldg., St. Luke’s Medical Center; tele fax 723-11-03; Suite 305 PDC Bldg., 1440 Taft Avenue, Manila; tele fax 524-64-45; e-mail address: ninahalili_allure@yahoo.com)