Why you should forgive
April 27, 2003 | 12:00am
Remember my article about Forgiveness Therapy? Many of my readers requested me to give them more excerpts from this book by David Schell. Here are some of them:
• Life is never perfect and often unfair. Forgive life’s inevitable failures.
• Forgiveness does not mean accepting further abuse or continuing destructive relationships. Establish boundaries for what is acceptable to you and make those boundaries clear to others. Hold others accountable for their actions.
• Recognize how you’ve refused to forgive. Keeping inner monsters at bay requires your energy to affirm and embrace life.
• Victims are helpless, at the mercy of the offender. By showing mercy to an offender, you put yourself back in control. Take charge by forgiving.
• Think of forgiveness as a powerful survival skill. It helps you find your way through the wilderness of misunderstanding, hurt, resentment and hatred.
• Forget about forgetting an injury. That’s not always possible and maybe at times not even desirable. Rather, choose to move on, past remembering and into forgiveness.
• No offense is unforgivable unless you make it so. Use your power wisely.
• Forgiveness is a life-long process. Forgive over and over, even for the same offense.
• Forgiveness takes courage and determination. Dig deep and you will find the strength you need.
• Allow forgiveness to open the door to reconciliation. Today’s bully can be tomorrow’s friend.
• Accept the possibility of rebuilding a relationship. Past offenses can be bulldozed and buried and a better life built atop the debris.
• Forgive even when there’s no apology or restitution. If you withhold forgiveness until a wrong is made right, you risk condemning yourself to a life sentence of unresolved bitterness; you risk letting your life be shaped by someone else’s actions.
Forgive others just as God has forgiven you. Remember that forgiveness is not something you do for someone else. It is something you do for yourself. Allow yourself to receive the gift of forgiveness.
E-mail the author at babyjackster@yahoo.com
• Life is never perfect and often unfair. Forgive life’s inevitable failures.
• Forgiveness does not mean accepting further abuse or continuing destructive relationships. Establish boundaries for what is acceptable to you and make those boundaries clear to others. Hold others accountable for their actions.
• Recognize how you’ve refused to forgive. Keeping inner monsters at bay requires your energy to affirm and embrace life.
• Victims are helpless, at the mercy of the offender. By showing mercy to an offender, you put yourself back in control. Take charge by forgiving.
• Think of forgiveness as a powerful survival skill. It helps you find your way through the wilderness of misunderstanding, hurt, resentment and hatred.
• Forget about forgetting an injury. That’s not always possible and maybe at times not even desirable. Rather, choose to move on, past remembering and into forgiveness.
• No offense is unforgivable unless you make it so. Use your power wisely.
• Forgiveness is a life-long process. Forgive over and over, even for the same offense.
• Forgiveness takes courage and determination. Dig deep and you will find the strength you need.
• Allow forgiveness to open the door to reconciliation. Today’s bully can be tomorrow’s friend.
• Accept the possibility of rebuilding a relationship. Past offenses can be bulldozed and buried and a better life built atop the debris.
• Forgive even when there’s no apology or restitution. If you withhold forgiveness until a wrong is made right, you risk condemning yourself to a life sentence of unresolved bitterness; you risk letting your life be shaped by someone else’s actions.
Forgive others just as God has forgiven you. Remember that forgiveness is not something you do for someone else. It is something you do for yourself. Allow yourself to receive the gift of forgiveness.
E-mail the author at babyjackster@yahoo.com
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