Beware (mis) Communicating love!

Have you ever watched young lovers communicate with each other? There is a constant exchange of words, gestures when together, and when apart, text and phone lines burn! Have you ever observed married couples or those in long-term relationships communicate? Talk is not too much the issue when expressing how they feel (unless arguing or fighting!). They have gone beyond verbal exchanges and read each other through their actions, their looks, even sometimes through shared thoughts.

Communication is at the very heart of a relationship. Communication (both verbal and non-verbal) is also something most of us take for granted. There would be less heartaches and heartbreaks in the world if we become more conscious of the way we talk and relate to our partners. Wouldn’t it be great if we could be both be the young and old couple together, right here, right now? From the young-in-love we would embrace verbal action as a great glue that binds. Through exchanges of ideas, no matter how silly, we dive into our partner’s labyrinthine mind and try to connect. From the older-in-love couples, we would learn to master non-verbal movements of affection, the nuances of expression that find connection through a glance, a look, perhaps a touch. It is love in comfort as a friendship.

Haven’t you wondered how there are times when everything seems to freely flow between you and your partner, and how, during other times, you just can’t get what you want to say across? In astrology, communication is ruled by the planet Mercury. It is just one of many other planets that is part of a fantastically perfect Universe that continuously unfolds in patterns and cycles. These precise planetarial patterns have been observed by ancient man since he first charted the heavens. Today, that study of planetarial movements allows us to state or predict certain conclusive effects or events.

I’d like to focus on one specific planet’s pattern. Mercury has a habit of moving backward in space three times a year. The planet literally slows down for three weeks. This movement is called the Mercury Retrograde period and the last one for this year 2002 will happen from Sept. 14 to Oct. 6.

What does all this mean? Mercury rules communication so in simple terms–communication can be shot! But allow me to explain a little bit more. When a planet (any one of them for that matter) begins to move backward or goes retrograde, there is an internalization that happens. All outward events see a certain delayed process as Mind energies and consciousness begin to move inwards and are more prone to be reflective. Things, events, and people (which normally are of no great consequence) may suddenly appear a little unclear or illogical.

During this period, it is also wise to hold off some major decision-making activities that may involve signing contracts, moving into a new home, getting married, going for a court case. For heaven’s sake, try to postpone getting engaged or married during this three-week period. Contracts signed during this period usually end up getting revised or do not push through as planned. If you have to sign a contract, make sure you triple-read the fine print. Marriage contracts and vows made while Mercury is moving backward just might be canceled at some point in the couple’s lives. Worst even, the couple may just find themselves caught in a marriage that lacks true relating and communications.

Let’s see how this would affect relationships. A boyfriend or lover may suddenly become silent and morose, quiet or reflective. He may suddenly move into a "loner" mode and refuse to talk or discuss things with you, won’t express how he feels or just retreats into his shell. Do not fret or be insecure about this! Three weeks may be the time that he needs to work things out in his mind. Allow for that space by moving into your own internal world.

Other things to also be aware of during the Mercury Retrograde: Don’t go into a frenzy when schedules (especially for travel, dates, rendezvous, etc.) that are so diligently planned suddenly have to be altered due to some delay or misunderstanding in e-mails, faxes, letters, telegrams or even cellphone texts. Also, watch the e-mails, computers, fax machines, telephone and cellphones (all modes of communication)… since they might all decide to take a rest by bogging down during these three weeks.

How do you maximize the period of the Mercury Retrograde with your partner? First, don’t worry if you both seem to step back and away from each other. If you feel distance happening, try to bring thought energies towards the positive instead of going crazy with insecurities. Or why not read or study something new or go deeper into studying something you already know. This is the best period to retain the knowledge learned since the Mind is focused to go internal.

You and your partner can also decide to go off on a trip or journey that is spontaneous and adventurous and that does not need too much detailed planning. Take heed however that the plane or boat’s schedule may be delayed or canceled. Or that luggage may be lost. Try also to be a little more patient when your partner’s (or yours, too) attention span seems so short when you begin to talk to him. All in all, it is a great time to get more emotional with less talk, more hugs and touches than verbal dialogues or monologues. It’s the best time to just share non-verbal communication. Better silence than miscommunication, misunderstanding and heartaches.