Splitting the bamboo

I remember a trip I made to South Korea sometime ago that made me realize how lucky I was to be a woman in the Philippines. I had gone to visit my Korean girl friend and as we went walking down the mall one day, I was side hit by men walking my way! Laughing at my indignation, my friend told me I best side-step so as not to get hit, as Korean men expected women to give them right of way. This lesson was further entrenched when, upon entering a building, the glass doors hit me on the face as the man walking before me didn’t even bother to hold the door open for me! These incidents resulted in long discussions with my friend about how different women were treated in both our countries, in other continents and cultures; how the patriarchal culture had dominated the rights of women, and until now, still attempts to silence the rise of the feminine/female essence.

The dominant pro-male version that the western world teaches can be seen in the Creation story of Genesis. After God had a burst of creative universe-making, the Great One made Man to populate the earth. Only when He saw that Man was lonely did God create a companion from the rib of Man who became known as Woman. Man came first, Woman was an afterthought, as a subordinate. What a bummer. This is the root of the dominant patriarchal world view of male supremacy that begets the chauvinistic macho-ism and aggressive brute strength. The result? Wars, rapes, violence and separation plague our world today.

I rather like to listen to the Filipino myth of origin and creation. It tells of a bird that pecks on a bamboo which suddenly breaks into half. Inside one side of the bamboo is Man called Malakas, and Woman, called Maganda is on the other half. The Filipino’s first archetypal ancestors symbolize how men and women were simultaneously created. Conjugal partnership is very much alive in the Filipino system. The Filipino coupling is as basic as rice and fish. By this I mean, the Filipino works towards achieving a balance, or partnership. The man plows the field, the woman plants. The man goes to work, the woman manages his earnings. The fisherman catches the fish, the woman sells the catch in the market.

The Filipina is treated with respect and reverence and she inspires protectiveness and gallantry in men. Actually, when you observe societal behaviors further, what is obvious is that we have a matriarchal society. The lower income women juggle roles, holding families together and making ends meet while husbands are often jobless. Some of our men folk remain like little boys because of being overly spoiled by mom. Many women have courageously left the country to work abroad for the sake of their families. We’re on our second woman president and women in leadership roles are not uncommon. The Filipina knows her strength and is not afraid to be heard. The Filipina is actually a powerful example when compared to others of her specie as she attempts to balance her own inner power with the gentleness, charm and nurturing "lambing" that is so characteristic of our race. I believe Filipinas serve their men because it gives them joy to do so and not because it is demanded of them. In other Asian countries, women take to the bath water after all their men folk, walk a couple of paces behind their man, and eat only after their men have eaten!

Our intuitive cultural understanding of equality among the sexes must be brought down to the level of our intimate relationships. If you have allowed the patriarchal mindset to dominate your relationship, know that it is alien to our culture. We are about partnership, not dominance. We are about equality and not hierarchy. If you are afraid to speak out or say what you perceive and feel, then power, not love is the ruling force in your relationship. You have to say what needs to be said, even if it is as simple as gently telling him "pick it up yourself." With that simple phrase, you can create a major change in your relationship, or even in your own personal evolution. You challenge the patriarchal underpinnings of your personal life and move towards a partnership of wholeness. Being Filipina today means taking your cultural birthright, placing yourself on the other half of the split bamboo.