Question is, can we actually do without it for an extended period of time? Nobody’s talking forever! Let’s just take a brief chance at daring and take a tip or two from Josh Hartnett’s determined (yet highly challenged) character in the amazingly honest flick 40 Days and 40 Nights.
Is there an insatiable need for males to forever rise to the occasion? Or is this just a bastardized fact based on a grand minority of grossly horny toads who refuse to keep their libidos in check— seeing that there are so many more things to life than mere sex. Or self-gratification. Or any sort of playful sensory activities like kissing or canoodling or anything within that vicinity.
Before delving into any sweeping conclusions about "doing the nasty" with regard to the whole human race, it’s but wise to first distinguish between the need for sex in a man’s world as opposed to making love in a woman’s eyes.
Okay, so maybe the expression "making love" is well suited to the Maria Clara prototype who ventured far enough as to "give herself" to the man she truly loves. Before marriage, at that!
Nevertheless, the whole sexual revolution has allowed women certain pleasures — you name it! Anything Adam was so callously partaking in pleasure-wise, Eve more than followed suit!
Fine, fine, so Eve was frowned on for quite a some time while Adam was more of a "stud" with every new conquest. Eventually, though, society became much more understanding, and equality was the way to go.
As for the Philippines, well…
Put it this way—much like the Marcos money vaults, the so-called "timid" Pinay has a world of secrets — deep dark sexual frustrations that, if not released, will be more of a destructive phenomenon than Mt. Pinatubo’s explosion sometime ago.
Needless to say, we chicks have come a long way down the path of sexual freedom. It’s not that engaging in the act isn’t considered an emotional, soul-binding experience. And yes, tenderness is still necessary—if not more important—element to the whole shebang. The cuddling. The soothing massages. Butterfly kisses in places that can make anyone with nerve endings sing pitches they never thought they could muster.
However, you’ll be surprised at how a good percentage of Filipino women can totally see the sexual act as just that… the act of having sex. Emotional attachment superfluous. Tenderness optional. The big "O"… a must! And going home the next day (or kicking that random partner out of her own sack, wherever she ends up the night before) won’t be a guilt-bearing exercise at all. Just your usual get-up and go, put your pumps on, and head out to work type exercise.
Getting that demographic out of the way, there are still a greater number of us who believe in having any sort of sexual experience with only one guy at a time… the one we truly love. Be it:
• A true expression of what resides in mind and heart, seeing the act of "making love" for what it really is… showing how much we truly love and care for that significant other.
(Not to mention satisfy our personal needs … we’re only human right?) or
• A gallant giving of self, as we understand how important it is for our, um, men, to be able to "get some" from their special someone.
(On the grounds that, knowing these guys…they’re bound to look for it elsewhere if we don’t put out.)
Here’s where things get tricky…
Say your forbidden fruit had been plucked while experiencing the thrill of puppy love. You now find yourself single and in need of some loving. Majority can live without it, but do crave that affection from time to time. Not enough, though, to go out and look for it in some random place.
Can women, generally speaking, go without anything to do with sex for an extended period of time? Most definitely!
As for our chest-hair infested, ESPN-addicted, beer-bellied counterparts—do you think they can deal?
Before making any altruistic judgments on the poor male species, let’s listen to what they have to say:
CAN YOU SURVIVE 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS WITHOUT SEX AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH IT?
Commonly known as: Your basic horny guy.
Usual sighting: EVERYWHERE!
Rx: Can’t fault this male type for their humble honesty. All defenses down, just speaking from the heart (or groin). At least these guys will never expect their women to be mind readers… just pleasure pleasers.
Sample Species:
"No way! My fiancée is way too hot to keep my hands off. I just couldn’t do it. Maybe if my girlfriend were ugly." —Iñaki Matute, 27, president of Oceanic Charter Corp.
"Honey, I won’t last four days or four nights! That’s why my wife looks so young!" —EJ Litton, ageless, managing director of Dish
"Yes, if you’re frigid... or Lorena Bobbit comes your way." —Anton Gonzalez, 32, president, Planet Sports Inc.
"No -*%!*@ way! My body would break down with all the gugu juice in me!" —Gutsy Tuason, 34, underwater photographer
"That would be an extremely difficult proposal to handle. Maybe when I’m old and gray it would be much simpler. But I’m not about to expire yet." —Manolet Dario, 38, DJ
"Yes. But why? I’d rather quit smoking." —Albert Besa, 27, co-owner and general manager of Il Ponticello Resto/Bar
"No. No. No. None of the above! I need to release! I get grumpy otherwise." —James Deakin, 28, managing editor, C! Magazine
Commonly known as: The "there better be something at the end of that rainbow" dude.
Usual sighting: They’re around. Think of them as prize finds in a flea market.
Rx: The happy medium. The guy with a motive. He’ll definitely forego all that sex hoopla… but he’ll be waiting for something in return. Noble? Yeah, like a knight waiting to score with the lady fair.
Warning: If there’s a reason for abstinence, it better be a damn good one. Like not contracting herpes. Or getting season tickets to his favorite team’s games. Or a pot of gold.
Sample Species:
"It would all depend on the reason for doing it. It would probably be tough, but if I was really determined because of the reason, I could probably pull it off." —Raymond Rufino, 24, managing director, RHL Properties and Dev’t. Corp.
"Only if there were a reward after the 40th night, like money, or a car, or Natalie Portman." —Joel Trinidad, 33, stage actor and singer
"Yes, I’ll go 40 days and 40 nights without all those things, but after that, I get a day and a night with Jules Asner!" —Mico Halili, 27, sportscaster
"But of course! I am a master of self-control. But there better be a real good reason to do it!" —GP Reyes, 26, director for Advertising and Promotions, Sari-Sari Group
Commonly known as: The "can do without it" trooper.
Usual sighting: Good question! Location unknown.
Rx: Give it up to these solid creatures that can hold their juice in for an extended period of time! Definitely not a common example of machismo but a definite candidate for "the closest you’ll ever get to the perfect guy"!
Warning: Blue Balls usually in tow. Consult libido at first sighting.
Sample Species:
"You have to be mighty preoccupied with other things… but I’m pretty sure it can be done." —Ino Olondriz, 24, student
"Of course I’ll survive! Sex has become too overrated!" —DJ Montano, 29, restaurateur
"No. Because my girlfriend would kill me. But I could definitely do without it." —Javi Berenguer-Testa, 29, vice president, Mondial Tours and Travel
On the other hand, there are others who don’t care too much for the recreation. Sure, it’s nature’s way of propagating our highly intelligible (though not completely proven just yet… we’ve had our monkey-brain moments throughout history) human mammalian race. Putting it that way… what a chore!
Whatever the case may be, the question still remains:
Are you willing to go for 40 days and 40 nights?