Who are you most compatible with?

When the question "What’s the Zodiac sign I’m most compatible with?" comes up during my readings and counseling sessions, I cringe inside. This is because such a question has such a complex answer!

When studying love relationships from the point of view of astrology, compatibility is seen by the relationship and placements of various planets (Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars and Jupiter) in the individual birth charts of a couple. Many people do not know or have their astrological birth charts. So, to simplify matters for this article, let me use the Four Elements in astrology to discuss compatibility. The elements are Fire, Earth, Air and Water.

Notice how some people can be so hyper, aggressive, always moving around, extroverted, and are pro-actively action-oriented? Chances are, that kind of person is of the Fire element–meaning, his or her birth sign would either be Aries, Leo or Sagittarius. These three signs will naturally harmonize with each other. Fire personalities always have to be moving, and in some way, love calling attention to themselves!

So if you’re in love with a fiery personality, you better start getting fit, pack a sports (for the Aries hunk), or travel bag (for the Sagittarian rover), check out entertainment areas and cafés (for the Leo connoisseur). Join him and don’t wait at home for him or his call. The secret is to be moving with him (or faster than him because he loves the chase) or he’ll get bored quickly.

For the more "egghead" brainy Air signs like Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, harmonies between these signs mean exchanges of ideas and concepts which fuel their logical minds. These signs love analyzing and communicating their thoughts and thus are all about relating with other people. Air signs always have to be thinking and talking! If you’ve got your eyes on an Airy man, make sure you catch up on jokes and current events (to get that Gemini flirt); discuss various concepts of love and relationships (for the Libran romantic who is more in love with the idea of love than the person itself); argue for ecology and read up on the latest space and technological advancements (for the radical Aquarian). The Fire and Air people are relational and extroverted and can prove to be quite compatible together.

More laid-back are the Water and Earth signs. The Water signs–Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces–are more intuitive, reflective, introverted. Their approach to life is seen through the realm of emotions. Water sign people always have to be feeling! If you want to snare that sensitive Water sign man, make sure you know how to cook, keep house and cuddle kids (for the Cancer man), keep mysteriously quiet and sexy (to arouse the curiosity of the Scorpio James Bond man) and love staring at the sunset while listening to music (for the gentle Pisces man). Forget too much talking, and please, please don’t blab. Just feel.

The Earth signs–Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn–see the material and physical world as clear realities that must be dealt with. Thus, they are more practical, steady and siguristas in their approach to decision making for life. Earthy people always have to plan conscientiously for long-term practicality and material success! Be proper and conservative when you are with the Earthy men, especially the Taurus man. While they are sensuous by nature, they don’t like too much attention-grabbing (it’s not practical!). Don’t ever shop till you drop with a Virgo man–and make sure you count your change! Do not swoon and cry in a romantic movie with a Capricorn man, instead, start a business with him.

It is safe to generalize then, that people born with the same element will naturally get along well with each other. However, it is wrong to typecast people by just identifying them by their birth sign. Each of us is usually a mix of these four elements and the mix defines our unique individuality. This is why we may see a Fire person who is quiet and reflective, while a Water person can be so noisy and extroverted.

Another general tip we can look out for are the opposition signs. Each sign has another sign directly opposite it. So we have the tandem of Aries-Libra, Taurus-Scorpio, Gemini-Sagittarius, Cancer-Capricorn, Leo-Aquarius and Virgo-Pisces. Opposite birth signs of opposite sex creates an attraction. (example: Male Libra and Female Aries). Opposite birth signs of the same sex creates certain distancing energies or they just don’t jibe (example: Male Leo and Male Aquarius or Female Pisces and Female Virgo).

These two general rules will hold even when checking not only love relationships compatibility, but also all kinds of relationships like parents, family members, friends and co-workers.

A relationship is always much better when there are more harmonious factors between the couple. But what of a relationship that seemingly started off as harmonious and suddenly show two people in conflict? My answer to that is compromise–learn to give and take and accept the quirks of your partner without losing your unique self.

Compatibility versus compromise. This is the parallel challenge all couples must learn to take to understand the growth process of love and friendship. Two people wouldn’t become a couple if they had nothing in common to start with. And they wouldn’t remain a couple if they didn’t work out issues and points of contention through the process of give and take, or live and let live. A love relationship deepens beyond romantic love and blossoms into true friendship when couples learn to compromise, whether or not they are compatible or not. When they learn this secret–surprises of all surprises– they surrender to experience newer harmonies at deeper levels of loving, learning and living.