Bring the magic back!
June 16, 2002 | 12:00am
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
When you walked into a crowded room, my heart would pitter-patter at the sight of your whole being.
Even now, my heart continues to race ondue to the fact that youve kept me waiting for over an hour in some forsaken bar with nobody to chat with but my vodka tonic.
As you always do.
When your luscious lips brushed against mine, I would feel a positive shock rush through my whole body.
Even now, electric thrills persistno thanks to that jabbering mouth of yours that never ends with those little white lies and annoying accusations of imperfection on my part.
My day is hardly complete without it.
When you would journey into the world hoping for a better life for us, I would count the hours until we could hold each other close once again.
Even now, I find myself counting the hoursuntil that next business trip that will take you as far away from me as possible.
A week would suffice. A month heaven!
When you would crack a funny joke, I would be your biggest fan and laugh until I was blue in the face.
Even now, Im still blue in the face. Should I forever remind you to put that damn toilet seat up? Or flush after bombing China?
F.Y.I.: You were never a good laugh. You do bomb pretty well though.
When you would get that nervous tick on your left eye, I would marvel at the cuteness of your distorted face.
Even now, I tend to marvel at how I could have ever found that flinching eyelid even remotely endearing!
Its actually quite freaky. You should go see a doctor.
Unforgettable words from the passion-driven Elizabeth Barrett-Browningher poems would normally enhance the life span of all those butterflies that reside in the tummy of a person madly in love! In this case, the womans optimism has bitterly been adapted to suit trying relationship times.
Sounding like you at all?
For your sake, Im seriously hoping to spare you the hassle of trying to fix something that aint broken.
Its simple: youre going through a slump in your relationship. Things have plateaued. Or better still, the display of disastrous fireworks has reached alarming rates that Chinatown may not feel the need to sell any Sinturon ni Hudas this coming New Year due to the racket you make every time you two bicker. Much as Id like to say its not that big of a deal, it actually can very well be one.
To quickly qualifythere is a world of difference between "loving someone" and "being in love with someone." The former is that natural dynamic that stems from two people spending time, romantic or not. The latter is that which causes that whole illusion of magicfloating on Cloud Nine; seeing the world through starry eyes; throwing all caution to the wind. You get the gist.
Now, when a slump occurs, that fundamental love is not necessary affected. Its more of a depletion of that magic. Unless, of course, youre both ready to throw in the towel and end the boxing match before things get ugly and ears get bitten offthere are certain steps that can be taken to salvage love lost. Or, put more clearly, there is a way to bring back that feeling of being in love.
Thanks to a lot of willing folk out there who have loved, lost, and loved again by finding a way to foster that colony of butterflies meant to find solace in ones love-infested tummy, heres a handful of recipes to help overcome that relationship slump and get that roller coaster ride back on track!
Without a doubt, the "lets skip town, just you and me" wildcard is probably the quickest relationship fixer/upper. Whether it be a simple weekend away or a trip in need of several visa applications (depending on time constraints and general funds, of course), the idea is to simply spend some quality time togetherwithout the hustle, bustle, and mouth muscle of everyday life.
Choose a nice, romantic setting agreed upon by both parties. A sexy, secluded beach would be good.
(Nothing out of one of those overplayed Survivor episodes. Youre both out to enjoy and regroup, not to try and outwit natures elementsor each other.)
Leave all unnecessary work-oriented valuables.
(These will automatically be confiscated at the gateif security check knew what was good for you.)
Good music, suggestive clothes, and a ton of oysters.
(The latter two are optional. Virgins need not include them into the mix.)
Bake under the hot sun at around 35 degrees, drizzle on some yummy coconut tanning oil (with SPF 45, please). Let go of any inhibitions; just be in the moment with each other.
"Fireworks resume upon return! If nothing happens while youre away, dude
youve lost it for her." Smokey Holiday*, 26, Marketing Manager
Unless youre a boring piece of plywood (or the biggest control freak from here to Pluto), having a monotonous schedule shared with your loved one will drive you to the crazy ward! Being predictable is one thing, knowing each others next move can cause serious choking spells to occur. Or worse still, a biting attack of boredom!
Instead of that whole monotonous, "Were going for some pizza again while watching our favorite comedy"(just like the past three nights), you can spice things up by checking out a play (seeing that you havent been that cultured since your fifth grade elementary class) or hang around the new jazz club that opened around, say, a year ago. But you couldnt care less to step away from the norm.
Be bold! Try something new!
Your typical weekly schedule.
(The more the monotony, the better. Its much more fun to mix up a distinctly boring regimen.)
Something way out of the ordinary.
(Be it a boxing class you were planning to take together, squeezing in a dinner date every so often, or trying a sexual position other than missionary.)
Get a gigantic blender. Stick in anything way out of the norm into the mix, take away the usualyet sometimes unnecessarystuff, like bingo night, or watching Pangako SaYo all too religiously. Add some hot chocolate to ease the transition and blend away!
"Something spontaneous always helps. Surprises will never allow you to get bored." Sparks AFlyin*, 27, Computer Genius
This one is known as the "Great Cool Off." Its not a break-up. No dating other people allowed. Just quality time away from each other to reconnect with the inner you
and you. Besides, all these hours apart will not only have you both missing each others company. When you do hook up after not seeing one another for a while, youll have a world more to talk about!
"Hi Honey, my day was good my workmates say hello then again, they already did since you called me around five times while I was at the office and when you picked me up to go home since we live two minutes away from each other anyway." You have that on tape recorder, right? Might as well; its chanted everyday.
Imagine having a week or so of separate activities to chitchat about! Youll be engaged in interesting conversation for hours! A definite way to find out so much more about one another.
Her life.
This time, its all about you. Catch up with old friends. Have a fun night out with the girlsdinner, drinks, harmless flirting! Get back to that passion for painting. Backpack across Europe!
His life.
Call an all-night poker session with the boys. Go watch your favorite basketball games live! Rock-climb with your college organization. Engage in a beer-chugging fest with some square workmates. Go back to the gym!
Much like separating any yolk from the egg white, the same process is to be applied. Simple. Just be sure not to break the shell too muchshattered pieces of a good egg can never be good.
"Staying away from my man had me enjoy my freedom at first. Then he started reveling in his
and I wanted him back in a heartbeat!" Confused No More*, 25, Boutique Owner
If youre in a relationship where a few harmless flirtatious glances at the fox or hunk across the room is strictly forbidden, poor you! Its totally healthy to engage in some casual flirting fun. Not only does it give you a little inspirational kick in the self-esteem department, it makes your partner realize how special you are (seeing that other people cant help but take notice)! Flirting certainly helps invigorate that zest for each other.
How? Try watching seven chicks wrapped over every part of your lovers body, totally enthralled by his story about freakin automatic lawn mowers! It will drive you crazy! And have you want to do wildly passionate things to him in the bars comfort room!
A solid night out on the towntogether!
The metro is jam-packed with interesting events, night after night! Pick one, and spin your magic with the crowd!
Some kick-ass clothing!
Surely youll have to be extra jazzed upfor your partner to notice first. Then you can work the room! Looking fantastic always helps in the flirting game. A little cleavage here, some manly chest hair there...
Perfume!
Nothing like a juicy trail of vanilla or earthy musk to hook some unsuspecting flirt victims!
Make sure your partner realizes that youre not out to replace him or her, but that you are merely having a little fun! Flirting, much like a good brulee, should only garner so much heat, and have a certain time limit. Too little wont make blood pressures rise enough to take notice. Too much will have you crash and burn. (Not to mention collapse in the center.)
Flirting is a calculated art. Easily misunderstood. Highly scrutinized. Be sure youre smart about it before you indulge in it. Know your limits.
"Flirting around gives you an ego-boost at first. Then it will turn around, bite you in the butt, and have you realize how much your partner really means to you." Floozy Blues*, 26, Editorial Assistant
This is my personal favorite. The simplicity of this recipe lies in going back to the ultimate time when butterflies thrived in the relationship. That first kiss. Your favorite restaurant. Hotel room keys. The list goes on and on.
Be ready for a flood of unimaginably superb, heart-warming, love-inducing memories! Going back to a time where everything was roses and love songs will definitely help ignite a flame that seems to be long gone but which surprisingly is very alive. All it needs is a little spark.
Old love letters.
Your shoe box of old photographs.
Your favorite song playing in the background or your favorite movie running in the VCR.
Memorabilia from the places youve been, the concerts youve seen, etc.
Tossing them all together in one go is optional. (You might end up with emotion overload!) It would be best to concentrate on one or two memories at a time so theres more to get back to across a wider time frame. If its that first kiss youre willing to remember as you cuddle in bed while watching Somewhere In Time, then go with just that. Youll be surprised how powerful a singular sensational memory can be.
"Going on dates to places where you used to go will rekindle old memories
and thats bound to help bring that old feeling back." Happy to Regress*, 24, Fashion Editor
Although C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N is a definite key in fostering (or fixing) a bleeding relationship, it ismore often than nota sore lack of it that gets partners into relationship slumps in the first place. These simpleyet highly effectiverecipes on trying to bring back that quintessential magic have been tried and tested; they will work 99.9 percent of the time.
Then again, the effectivity rate rests on whether or not there is TRUE LOVE in the mix. Just like a good slice of cakeit may taste so damn good, but after you eat it, kapoof all gonemagic and butterflies come and go. Its definitely good to have it come around every so often, as itll help make any relationship keep its luster.
However, if that foundation upon which your relationship is baked is strong and true, then youll be alright. You can always run to your friendly neighborhood grocery store if you run out of ingredients they are all there if and when you need them.
(*Note: All names have been changed to protect all participants from openly admitting to the general public that they have, in fact, experienced a huge slump in their relationship at some point or another. Besides, it wouldnt be the nicest way for their partners to find out, now would it?)
When you walked into a crowded room, my heart would pitter-patter at the sight of your whole being.
Even now, my heart continues to race ondue to the fact that youve kept me waiting for over an hour in some forsaken bar with nobody to chat with but my vodka tonic.
As you always do.
When your luscious lips brushed against mine, I would feel a positive shock rush through my whole body.
Even now, electric thrills persistno thanks to that jabbering mouth of yours that never ends with those little white lies and annoying accusations of imperfection on my part.
My day is hardly complete without it.
When you would journey into the world hoping for a better life for us, I would count the hours until we could hold each other close once again.
Even now, I find myself counting the hoursuntil that next business trip that will take you as far away from me as possible.
A week would suffice. A month heaven!
When you would crack a funny joke, I would be your biggest fan and laugh until I was blue in the face.
Even now, Im still blue in the face. Should I forever remind you to put that damn toilet seat up? Or flush after bombing China?
F.Y.I.: You were never a good laugh. You do bomb pretty well though.
When you would get that nervous tick on your left eye, I would marvel at the cuteness of your distorted face.
Even now, I tend to marvel at how I could have ever found that flinching eyelid even remotely endearing!
Its actually quite freaky. You should go see a doctor.
Unforgettable words from the passion-driven Elizabeth Barrett-Browningher poems would normally enhance the life span of all those butterflies that reside in the tummy of a person madly in love! In this case, the womans optimism has bitterly been adapted to suit trying relationship times.
Sounding like you at all?
For your sake, Im seriously hoping to spare you the hassle of trying to fix something that aint broken.
Its simple: youre going through a slump in your relationship. Things have plateaued. Or better still, the display of disastrous fireworks has reached alarming rates that Chinatown may not feel the need to sell any Sinturon ni Hudas this coming New Year due to the racket you make every time you two bicker. Much as Id like to say its not that big of a deal, it actually can very well be one.
To quickly qualifythere is a world of difference between "loving someone" and "being in love with someone." The former is that natural dynamic that stems from two people spending time, romantic or not. The latter is that which causes that whole illusion of magicfloating on Cloud Nine; seeing the world through starry eyes; throwing all caution to the wind. You get the gist.
Now, when a slump occurs, that fundamental love is not necessary affected. Its more of a depletion of that magic. Unless, of course, youre both ready to throw in the towel and end the boxing match before things get ugly and ears get bitten offthere are certain steps that can be taken to salvage love lost. Or, put more clearly, there is a way to bring back that feeling of being in love.
Thanks to a lot of willing folk out there who have loved, lost, and loved again by finding a way to foster that colony of butterflies meant to find solace in ones love-infested tummy, heres a handful of recipes to help overcome that relationship slump and get that roller coaster ride back on track!
Leave all unnecessary work-oriented valuables.
(These will automatically be confiscated at the gateif security check knew what was good for you.)
Good music, suggestive clothes, and a ton of oysters.
(The latter two are optional. Virgins need not include them into the mix.)
Instead of that whole monotonous, "Were going for some pizza again while watching our favorite comedy"(just like the past three nights), you can spice things up by checking out a play (seeing that you havent been that cultured since your fifth grade elementary class) or hang around the new jazz club that opened around, say, a year ago. But you couldnt care less to step away from the norm.
Be bold! Try something new!
(The more the monotony, the better. Its much more fun to mix up a distinctly boring regimen.)
Something way out of the ordinary.
(Be it a boxing class you were planning to take together, squeezing in a dinner date every so often, or trying a sexual position other than missionary.)
"Hi Honey, my day was good my workmates say hello then again, they already did since you called me around five times while I was at the office and when you picked me up to go home since we live two minutes away from each other anyway." You have that on tape recorder, right? Might as well; its chanted everyday.
Imagine having a week or so of separate activities to chitchat about! Youll be engaged in interesting conversation for hours! A definite way to find out so much more about one another.
This time, its all about you. Catch up with old friends. Have a fun night out with the girlsdinner, drinks, harmless flirting! Get back to that passion for painting. Backpack across Europe!
His life.
Call an all-night poker session with the boys. Go watch your favorite basketball games live! Rock-climb with your college organization. Engage in a beer-chugging fest with some square workmates. Go back to the gym!
How? Try watching seven chicks wrapped over every part of your lovers body, totally enthralled by his story about freakin automatic lawn mowers! It will drive you crazy! And have you want to do wildly passionate things to him in the bars comfort room!
The metro is jam-packed with interesting events, night after night! Pick one, and spin your magic with the crowd!
Some kick-ass clothing!
Surely youll have to be extra jazzed upfor your partner to notice first. Then you can work the room! Looking fantastic always helps in the flirting game. A little cleavage here, some manly chest hair there...
Perfume!
Nothing like a juicy trail of vanilla or earthy musk to hook some unsuspecting flirt victims!
Flirting is a calculated art. Easily misunderstood. Highly scrutinized. Be sure youre smart about it before you indulge in it. Know your limits.
Be ready for a flood of unimaginably superb, heart-warming, love-inducing memories! Going back to a time where everything was roses and love songs will definitely help ignite a flame that seems to be long gone but which surprisingly is very alive. All it needs is a little spark.
Your shoe box of old photographs.
Your favorite song playing in the background or your favorite movie running in the VCR.
Memorabilia from the places youve been, the concerts youve seen, etc.
Then again, the effectivity rate rests on whether or not there is TRUE LOVE in the mix. Just like a good slice of cakeit may taste so damn good, but after you eat it, kapoof all gonemagic and butterflies come and go. Its definitely good to have it come around every so often, as itll help make any relationship keep its luster.
However, if that foundation upon which your relationship is baked is strong and true, then youll be alright. You can always run to your friendly neighborhood grocery store if you run out of ingredients they are all there if and when you need them.
(*Note: All names have been changed to protect all participants from openly admitting to the general public that they have, in fact, experienced a huge slump in their relationship at some point or another. Besides, it wouldnt be the nicest way for their partners to find out, now would it?)
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