Pride Month: LGBTQ dentist advises community to 'prioritize self-acceptance, self-love'

MANILA, Philippines — Dr. Shideh Nikbin, also known as Dr. Glam, is proud of the person she has become. The half-Filipino, half-Persian orthodontist has come a long way from the 21-year-old graduate of Doctor of Dental Medicine who first experienced the joy of transforming her patients' lives in her private practice to becoming an aesthetic medicine specialist who established her own businesses and brand. 

But what Dr. Nikbin is most proud of are not her degrees or achievements, but the love she has found. It is a love that set her free, a love that embraced all that she is and a love that showed her true colors.

“In high school, I felt no 'butterflies in my stomach' and lacked interest in the opposite sex. I tried dating a boy from school, but I realized I wasn’t into boys. But at that time, I didn’t put any labels on myself,” recalled the founder, Chief Executive Officer and Creative Entrepreneur behind Fashion Smile Dental Health Spa, Aramesh Wellness and Aramesh Aesthetic.

She had an inkling of her gender preference, but it would be a long way for her to embrace her truth and come out.

“Initially, I disregarded my truth and prioritized my academics instead. Being a scholar and achieving top grades held great importance for me. That period of my life was immensely challenging because back then, societal attitudes were far less accepting than they are today,” she said.

It did not help that she was raised in a family that upheld high standards that were deemed acceptable by society. The belief system and religion of people around were also predominant influences in her early life. 

She felt incredibly isolated and disheartened to hear religious teachings that call her true self as a "sinful" existence. In her vulnerable teenage years, as she was navigating her personal growth and exploring her aspirations, she felt that there was something inherently wrong with her, a deep-seated confusion that cast a dark shadow over her life at that time.

Turning point

College was a different and freeing time for the dentist. Like many coming-of-age and coming-out stories, the college halls proved to be a liberating setting for Dr. Nikbin. 

After years of hiding in the closet, she found the courage to embrace who she really is. 

“There was a girl I genuinely liked. It was in that vulnerable moment, standing before the mirror, that I spoke the profound 'L' word aloud, acknowledging my identity as a lesbian. It was a transformative experience, as I not only accepted and loved myself but also realized that being a lesbian was just a part of who I am, not the entirety of my being.

"I recognized that I was so much more than any label society placed on me. With this newfound understanding, I began to nurture that aspect of my identity, opening up to my close friends and brothers who provided an incredible support system during this journey,” said Dr. Nikbin.

Looking back, she said that by ignoring her authentic self, she was neglecting a vital part of who she was. After opening up to her brothers and the people she trusted, she discovered a profound sense of peace and authenticity, not only within herself but also in her interactions with others.

Being true to herself had been transformative, but she had to give up relationships and people who were not as welcoming to her real self. 

“Initially, losing friends who couldn’t accept the real me was painful, and facing judgment from others was equally difficult. However, as I progressed, the path ahead became clearer. I found myself surrounded by a loving circle of people who genuinely care about me, including my family who loves me unconditionally. By staying true to myself, I gained the ability to make decisions that align with my true desires and aspirations, both in my career and in my relationships. My life has become a beacon of love and fulfillment,” shared the doctor who advocates for love and equality.

Finding love

She is proud of her business partner and life partner of 14 years, Dr. Far Shamsi. The couple has the love and support of their family and friends. They are determined not to let their sexual orientation define them, dictate their career, or determine their worth.

Dr. Nikbin aspires to be a source of assistance and inspiration for individuals who, like her, lacked guidance during their formative years and are now facing challenges in coming out. The 5’6” vlogger openly shares her experiences regarding her relationships and her sexual orientation, gender identity and expression (SOGIE) with her 1.6 million audience and followers on social media. Her aim is to connect with others who share similar struggles by ensuring they never feel isolated.

“I want them to know they are not alone and, most importantly, that they are perfectly natural and deserving of acceptance, even if society may not conform to their version of normal,” she said.

For those out there who are experiencing what she went through when she was younger, her advice is for them to embrace themselves with love, recognize their significance and cherish every aspect of themselves.

“Prioritize self-acceptance and be genuinely proud of yourself. When you feel ready, confide in those you hold dear — your loved ones, family, or friends. However, ensure you do so within a safe and supportive environment, prioritizing your own well-being,” she said. 

She said it also helps to nourish the soul by immersing oneself in uplifting literature, podcasts and inspiring stories of individuals who have triumphed through similar struggles.

However, she warned people to be prepared for the possibility of encountering judgment from others or even losing friends and family members along the way. As a way to cope with these possibilities, the dentist said that she had learned to forgive those who had hurt her and to forgive herself.

“Above all, remain steadfast in your commitment to being true to yourself and practicing self-love,” she ended.

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