The journey back: A step forward

MANILA, Philippines - Many of us go through life with holes in our psyche. Sometimes these gaps take the form of co-dependence, narcissistic disorders, proneness to addictions (to drugs, nicotine, food, computer gaming, gambling, shopping or even sex in order to compensate for a low sense of self-worth), trust issues, or acting out. In some cases, we don’t realize how these unresolved issues become toxic and somatized by creating physical manifestations of the abuse suffered in the past. If you have unexplained headaches, backaches, severe muscle tension (the list goes on) it may be because of unconsciously repressed childhood issues affecting you today. Tony Perez once commented on Facebook: “There are times when you wish to shock people for the sake of it, but you must realize that the wounded child within you merely wants to get back at its parents.”

Even those raised by moms and dads with the best of intentions may have suffered some form of childhood or adolescent traumas (physical, intellectual, spiritual, emotional or sexual) inflicted by those at school or relatives, and events that threaten to poison current or future relationships if proactive measures aren’t taken.

Take for instance the case of a person who normally deflects praise by crediting someone else or downplaying his or her role in an organization or someone who can take a joke and dish it back humorously but once angered (by either a perceived injustice or uncalled-for nuisance), may lash out with sarcastic remarks, yell or kick something to diffuse emotional tension. Once that person realizes where that behavior stems from and the triggers that set it off, conscious daily self-care work can help with recovery and behavior modification.

The preceding paragraph, in fact, describes part of what plagued this writer’s life in the past. And while attending the RCW1 workshop is no quick fix, it is a much-needed self-evaluation tool if you realize you want more out of life than just earning a paycheck every 15 days and rising up the corporate ladder. Sometimes, it is simply about the quest for excellence or becoming the best we can be (for our family, friends or even ourselves). A wise acquaintance said over Twitter: “I think the hardest thing about being messed up is admitting that you are. But when you get there, it’s a start to getting better.“

Offering the tools for self-realization and inner growth, the Reparenting the Child Within (RCW1) careshop is a three-day course that helps participants break out of self-destructive or self-defeating modes of behavior, allowing them to move forward with their lives. Conducted by trained facilitators from RCWFI (Reintegration for Care and Wholeness Foundation, Inc.) committed to the inner care and empowerment of the individual, RCW1 is a transformational workshop that aims to free the individual from the personal blocks or psycho-emotional conditioning that holds him/her back from achieving full potential or greatness.

RCW1 is an intensive course often held at the Partnership Center in Varsity Hills, Loyola Heights, Quezon City. Participants cut across various ages and socio-economic backgrounds, contributing to a rich in-depth experience akin to retreats where one reflects on one’s past and the ways to overcome personal hurdles to become fully functioning adults, while acknowledging and making peace with one’s inner child of the past.

The two important lessons you must take away from this careshop for your psycho-emotional growth are learning to own and take responsibility for what you feel and do, instead of blaming it on others and learning to ask for what you need, whether it’s a hug, prayers or a series of affirming claps from your co-workshoppers.

One workshopper shares: “In my Re-Parenting the Child Within Course, I regressed to infancy, to that moment when my mother was trying to bear me out and for some strange reason, I refused to even budge…My infant self hung on, stubbornly snuggled in fetal comfort, clinging and refusing to move out and start living life on my own. No wonder I did the same with my adult relationship. I overstayed.”

Alma Concepcion, a past RCW attendee, says of her experience: “I was entering adult life with so many questions about my personality that I couldn’t answer myself...(with RCW1) I was able to understand more the complexity of my being, how and why I react to things that trigger me. I realized I had to do a lot of unveiling and that my process had just begun. It changed me a whole lot…I was able to understand and trace the roots of my behavior. It opened my mind to a lot of lessons and a new way of approaching life’s challenges.” After taking that first workshop, Concepcion went on to attend another workshop (Healing Attitudes, Loving Essence) by the same group. Asked about whether or not she has recommended the workshop to others, Concepcion affirms this, sharing that: “I would say it is worth it! In fact I have already offered to sponsor a friend. I have been recommending them (careshops) whenever I feel that the person would be needing it. Three days is really hard to sacrifice nowadays…but I do push them…”

Being a process workshop, attendees are encouraged to focus and invest on learning activities with themselves and their batch mates during these two to three days. To safeguard one’s sense of security there is a strict confidentiality agreement in RCW1: whatever you hear or share within those walls stays there.

Is reliving life’s pain well worth your personal investment? Honestly, yes, if it allows you to heal yourself, like having to re-break a bone that didn’t set properly, for it to heal better and for you to function better as a whole person. As educator-artist Dhanna Kerina Rodas says: “RCW1 was the most uncomfortable three days of my life that brought about a great deal of accomplishments lasting a lifetime. Comparing three days to a lifetime, it was oh so worthwhile.”

While you will emerge from the workshop feeling lighter or unburdened, there is the sensation of looking at a long road ahead of you. Indeed, it represents the work yet to come, of daily acknowledging your inner child with small caring gestures directed at your own self-care (see box).Every one is inspired to go the mindful way of conducting one’s life. Should one feel that certain issues were not addressed the first time around, graduates of the courses are encouraged to do a re-audit. (Re-audits only pay a minimal fee for food and miscellaneous.)

“I went to the seminar venue fearful that I might not agree with what I will discover and terrified of going back to old wounds, which I have painstakingly succeeded in forgetting.” Writes Cynthia Ana Tenefrancia of her RCW1 experience. “On this occasion, I set my fears aside. I agreed to take a leap of faith. I was curious. More important, I was confident that I could handle and survive the experience. Little did I know that in the next few days, I would discover a wealth of knowledge in myself, which in turn opened my pathway towards healing, forgiveness and wholeness.” 

Now on its 326th run, RCWFI works with participants who are desirous to unlock the barriers inhibiting their real selves from functioning fully. RCW1 provides self-assessment exercises and tools that help propel workshoppers to the next level of self-actualization. It is never too late to reclaim, heal and embrace your genuine personality, as well as resolve or process the issues that have plagued you in life.

This month, RCW1 is scheduled on May 21 to 23, 2010 at the Partnership Center, 59 C. Salvador St., Varsity Hills, Loyola Heights, QC. It is offered every 3rd weekend of the month all year round. Other workshops slated for the month of May are: Creative Stressbusters for Carers (CSC) on May 29; Blocks to Breakthroughs (B2B) on May 30 and the monthly free Growth Session “Attractiveness Factor” by Nenette Oñate on the evening of May 28.

RCWFI celebrated its 10th Foundation Day last May 9. Call in today to find out how you can avail of group discounts or other promos. Take that step towards healing and becoming a better person.

For more information on RCW1 and other self-healing careshops, call (+632) 436-0710 or 4266832, text 0921- 6332587, email rcw_foundation@yahoo.com or log on to www.rcwfi.org

Your self-care routine

In RCW1, self-care refers to the actions you take in positively affirming yourself as a person worthy of love. How? It can be as almost insignificant as brushing your hair more lovingly, or perhaps smoothing on some lotion while complimenting yourself on looking great at your age (as long as you’re alive you look great at your age!). Here are a few tips from Sr. Harriet “Neh” Hormillosa that you can take up as your own self-care routine –and remember to be affirming toward yourself.

1. Have a pampering day at the spa

2. Sleep for as long as you need

3. Hug a body pillow

4. Smell the flowers

5. Snuggle up to a favorite book

Stressbusters

Stress is a part of life, in fact your reaction to it is an indication that you are alive. But too much negative stress can be bad for you, so heed these recommendations from RCWFI:

1. Eat your lunch in a park

2. Affirm your talents

3. Go to a quiet place and pray

4. Buy yourself some flowers

5. Watch the clouds