Passion for dance

MANILA, Philippines - In April 2011, I attended Dance Excellence, a global festival in Los Angeles. Among all the dance trips I have participated in, this one changed my life completely.

I had six master classes a day from different teachers. We had classical ballet, tap, jazz, hiphop, contemporary, lyrical, modern, stepping, African, Broadway, among others. The Young Americans performing group inspired me to believe that I could be the performer I never perceived myself to be.

In Aug. 18, 2012, I injured both knees and ankles in a dance concert. I had to go through physical therapy and rehabilitation. The long wait became a test of passion and determination. Therapy was and is no joke. My highly sought-after physical therapist Shari James Moreno, under the guidance of doctor Raul Canlas, at the Moro Lorenzo Clinic was very tough. But he knew what he was doing, and we both had the same goal – to be stronger and better.

One month became three then five and beyond seven... All I knew was that I needed to get better. I needed to be stronger. I needed to be healthier. But most of all, I knew that my resolute heart still wanted to dance. I would be in Moro Lorenzo Sports Center almost every day. Some days, I would be there from 1 p.m. until the closing time, 8 p.m. I also went to Peak Form Manila, one of the only centers in the Philippines that treats patients with the use of cryo therapy machines.

The return

One week before Dance Excellence 2013, patients in Moro, along with my therapist, tried to convince me to start dancing. I was almost done with my therapy, and I thought, “Why risk? I might rush myself. I might re-injure myself. ” I did not want to waste all the hard work that I put into recovery. Thursday morning, I woke up with a weird sense of security and courage. I asked my therapist, “Do you really think I’m ready? I don’t know why I feel like today is the day, and that I am willing to take the challenge.”

I messaged my dance teacher, who has taken care of me for more than 10 years, that I may have some good news. She called me up to confirm if I was sure about what I wanted to do. I said yes. Another call came a few hours later to inform me that a slot became open.

Dance Excellence 2013 was a week of growth and change. I fell in love with dance all over again. I was so happy to be dancing and representing the Philippines.

I found out that there were auditions being held at the same event an hour after my class. I wanted to give it a shot. I was too inspired by all the classes to say no.

I had rehearsals with Team Philippines dancers at 6 p.m. The auditions were at 6 p.m. and both rooms were beside each other. I decided to take a peek at the audition room and realized that you had to sing, not just dance. I never sang alone in my life!  My close Filipino-British friend, however, has been singing since she could speak! I said, “Biannah, please. One of us has to do it. We both know I don’t sing. Do it for yourself. Do it for me. Please.”

Our artistic director Shirley Halili-Cruz came up to me and said, “Misha, you always tell me about how much you loved performing with The Young Americans two years ago. Go for it! Audition! It doesn’t matter if you get in or not! You have nothing to lose. Do it for yourself.” And so I did.

“Time to conquer the fear,” I told myself.

Five minutes later, my name was called. I threw away every negative thought. I sang. Later on, I danced. No music, my own choreography. Biannah and I hugged after the auditions were over and agreed that whatever happens, we already won and that we had each other.

Dance Excellence ended with a dinner banquet. They announced the names of those who got in The Young Americans one by one. Name after name, country after country, Biannah and I kept looking at each other, trying to relax. Second to the last one to be announced, “Philippines!” Maria Patricia Bernas. I went up on stage in shock. Biannah was also accepted and considered, but not announced because she was still too young. It only took me one flight back to Manila to decide that I wanted to come out to California and do it.

And here I am.

August 18, 2013, one year after the injury setback that almost ended my dancing career.

I realized the setback only made me want these kinds of opportunities more and to seize the moment while I can. Today, I will be flying to California to pursue this dream. We Filipinos are known for our indomitable spirit in bouncing back from the most difficult circumstances. This injury is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I learned how to start from the bottom, from scratch. Indeed, it was difficult to cope, but I managed as I learned to trust others and open myself to new things. I am eternally grateful for this experience, as it brought me a fresh perspective beyond what a stage can offer. The values and life lessons I have yet to develop and learn from this community will be priceless.

(The author is the first Filipino recruited to train with The Young Americans performing group in California.)