"Sex education should be educating the heart in love. So you wait until marriage to have sex, because sex is in fact an expression of life and love," said Dr. Antonio Torralba, PhD, dean of the University of Asia and the Pacific (UA&P), in Pasig City.
He said that in his opinion, sex education should in a way teach students to wait, observe abstinence, and have respect.
In his talk entitled "Sex Education: The Real Score" held at the UA&P in Pasig City, Torralba also expressed reservations on whether it would be okay to teach sex education in schools.
"It depends on what the content is," said Torralba when asked if he is for or against sex education in schools. Instead, Torralba advised the teaching in schools of abstinence, chastity, and saving oneself for marriage.
He said that in the past, schools taught sex education that focused more on population control and prevention of STDs.
"Let DepEd talk about human sexuality that makes use of sexuality within marriage. And not say, in case you enter into sex, avoid STDs," he said.
"Sex within marriage should be given more emphasis. In fact, sex is for marriage. Although the DepEd does not promote premarital sex, adults have to be very clear what sex is for. That one does not appear (in sex education in schools). This is due to the common thinking that sex is for pleasure and a biological need," he said.
Torralba, an associate professor in Education, and dean of the College of Arts and Sciences of UA&P, noted that this year, the DepEd has issued a sex education module that was subjected to criticisms by the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP), and has become controversial.
Torralba said human sexuality is a matter of freedom, while animal sexuality, a matter of nature.
He said, in his own personal observation during the past 20 years, sex education in schools has been practically limited to safe sex.
"Safe sex or responsible sex means using condoms whenever one enters into sexual relationships. That, to me as a personal opinion, is unfortunate. It can lead to greater promiscuity, instead of helping teenagers become strong and responsible," he said stressing that education in sex is really education in life and education in love.
He said sex education in schools should be about the relationship between a man and a woman.
He also noted that in sex education in school, a teacher talks to a class, en masse.
"You don’t see how individuals react. Sex education to me is a very intimate and personal thing that the best would be for a mother to talk to the daughter, and for the father to talk to the son. If for example parents are not at home and there is no other recourse, then the teacher (talks) to individuals. My own sense is that it is better to give sex education, not like a class time, but as a matter of practices at home, a matter of how the father and mother relate with each other, and how the home is," he said.
Torralba also noted that sex education is also about how the community is. "The community, we cannot control. But the home can be controlled by the parents," he said.
He admitted that he has not read the latest sex education lesson guides being piloted by the DepEd.
He said it is not uncommon to hear teachers tell students not to have sex. And if a student has no choice, the teachers tell the students to use contraceptives, such as condoms, to avoid STDs.
Torralba also said that he is not aware of any study citing a direct relationship between media and effects on the sexual behavior of a person. There may not be any direct correlation, he said, but there are cases when a woman has handled abortion easier after the media has depicted this as a commonplace practice.
He also advised teachers teaching sex education to give simple answers to questions being asked by students or the youth, and not delve into religious philosophical answers such as telling them that if they have premarital sex, they should "repent before it is too late and be doomed in the fires of hell."
"This is what several people say. That is why adolescents tend not to listen to some adults who would refer to authority. Refer to reason," he said.
Torralba also cited three basic statements that they try to communicate in schools.
"First is that sex is not for self preservation. It is not a biological need. It is for the preservation of the race. Hence it has to be always open to life. We never refer to institutional religion. We refer to regular reasons. Food is for self preservation, drinking (water) is for self preservation. Clothing is for self preservation. But not sex. Sex and parenting are for the preservation of the race," he said.
Second, he said, dogs do it, chickens do it, and hippopotamuses do it, too. "But when Pepe and Pilar do it, they just don’t do it. They do it because they are free. They are in love and committed to each other for life in marriage."
Third, he said, at the bottom line, education and sex is education in life and love.