CBCP: Teach kids not to ‘grab balls’ and stay away from ‘STD’

Phrases heard lately over prime time television like "grabbing his balls" and "STD" are bad, very bad, and parents need to explain this to their TV-watching children.

The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) Commission on Women expressed concern yesterday that with television ratings zooming up with the jaw-dropping revelations in the Kris Aquino and Mayor Joey Marquez split, kids are exposed to terms that require parental guidance.

"Personally, I do not think that all these are doing Kris any good. When she said the truth will come out then that is it," said Dr. Zenaida Rotea, executive secretary of the commission.

Rotea initially refused to comment on the celebrity breakup because it was a private affair, but later hailed Aquino’s disclosure of her supposed maltreatment by her comedian boyfriend and concurrent Parañaque mayor, as something that "would prompt other women to speak out too."

""If they want justice they (women) should speak out," said Rotea. "She (Aquino) did this although she knows that it will have a negative effect on her popularity."

Rotea said that since news about the end of the affair cannot be avoided, she called on parents to take time to explain to their children certain statements made by the main players. The word war was worsened because Aquino and Marquez belong to rival television stations, she noted.

Rotea’s commission is also CBCP’s movie monitoring arm which regularly comes out with reviews on current films.

In the latest twist to this highly sensationalized real-life drama, Aquino narrated the events Monday night that allegedly prompted Marquez to cock a gun and poke it at her. Aquino later filed a police complaint sending mediamen into a frenzy.

And on Wednesday’s 6 p.m. newscast, Aquino said she tried to grab Marquez’s balls to crush it in the course of their latest violent fight. She also revealed that she and Marquez had once been treated for STD (sexually transmitted disease) which he had given her.

"When the children ask them (parents) what STD means, then they have to explain it and say that it is not something good," Rotea said.

Rotea said that it was the prerogative of the Aquino family to make a statement adding that the popular actress’ mother, former President Corazon Aquino, is a "very prudent person."

But when asked of her opinion since the public disclosures may not be the last, Rotea said she is "hoping that they can settle this without destroying each other’s reputation."

Meanwhile, a psychiatrist said yesterday that women who eventually find themselves battered are either masochists or are "blinded by strong emotions like love."

Dr. Gregorio Diokno Jr., a fellow at the Philippine Psychiatric Association and diplomate at the Philippine Board of Psychiatry, noted that abuse boils down to the personality of an individual, regardless of her status in life.

"It is a flaw in the character ... There is no prototype of person who can suffer from this kind of character. Abuse doesn’t only happen to the uneducated women but also to those who are educated or have a good standing in society. Anyone can suffer this kind of ordeal," he told The STAR.

According to Diokno, women tolerate the defilement committed against them either because of masochism or they are blinded by love.

"There are people who derive pleasure from pain. They are the masochist type," he added.

But Diokno acknowledged that there are also people who do not feel pain because love acts like an anesthetic.

"And because they are blind, they do not see things. They prefer to keep silent for fear that their partners will leave them if they fight back or defend themselves," he added.

Abused women get the courage to end a turbulent relationship only after "they hit rock bottom."

"Some people need to hit rock bottom to have insights about themselves. It is only then that they begin to think about what’s happening. They begin to learn their lesson," he said.

Diokno, however, maintained that a woman who went through abuses usually comes out "a better and stronger person."

He said abused women need counseling and therapy to recover, and a strong family becomes a wellspring of support for that recovery. — With Sheila Crisostomo