Carla Abellana doesn’t need a new relationship to move on

Carla Abellana has made it clear that she doesn’t need to rush into a new relationship just to find healing and happiness for herself.

After the breakdown of her marriage that led to divorce in the US, the actress has obviously chosen to focus on herself and her career. While there are pressures dictating people can quickly move on from heartbreak by finding a new partner, she doesn’t believe in relying on external relationships to fill up that void.

“Hindi naman po kailangan. Hindi naman po sa hindi maganda, pero parang hindi naman po kailangan ang ganun na paraan or way to move on by papalitan (replacement) or what,” Carla recently said during a no-holds-barred presscon after she was introduced as the latest actress to sign up with All Access to Artists, the same talent management company behind the careers of Marian Rivera and Maine Mendoza.

“Hindi ka tunay makakapag-move on kung ganun lang na ire-replace niyo lang po. Hindi po kayo makapag-heal talaga kung ganoon lang talaga, ‘di ba?”

She reiterated, “Hindi po talaga kailangan. Sarili niyo lang kelangan (You only need yourself).

“At the end of the day, sarili niyo rin ang sasalo sa sarili niyo, makakasama ninyo… ‘Di ko kailangan yun. ‘Di po siya requirement para maging masaya ako,” the actress said.

This is not to say that Carla is shutting the door on falling in love and marrying again.

She said in response to a question from The STAR, “When the opportunity presents itself, yung talagang totoo… Sa ngayon, ayoko pa isipin. But of course, sino naman po may ayaw ‘dun? Lahat po may gusto nun.”

She admitted that she’s receiving feelers from non-showbiz guys, but denied being “traumatized” by showbiz ones, saying she wouldn’t generalize them because “trauma doesn’t choose whether you’re showbiz or non-showbiz, man or woman, young or old.”

The actress gets officially welcomed during a contract signing with AAA execs Mike Tuviera, Jojo Oconer and Jacqui Cara.

What she learned from her own experience with heartbreak is that women are stronger than they are perceived to be.

“From how I see it, women are different nowadays. Mas mukha pang malakas ang kababaihan ngayon. Unfortunately, ngayon hindi naman natin matigil talaga ang problems, heartaches, heartbreaks, the pain, things like that.

“But the women are stronger. No matter what, alam mong yung babae, kaya niya. Alam mong kaya mo. You should never feel alone. You have it in you. Just don’t give up on yourself.”

One possible reason why Carla is this open with not even the slightest sign of displeasure at answering even the most controversial of questions is because she has finally moved on. To use her words, she has firmly closed that chapter in her life.

“Definitely. Nahanap ko na po yung aking peace. Talagang nasara ko na po yung chapter na iyon ng aking buhay,” she said.

“Lagpas-lagpas pa po, kumbaga, sa pagmo-move on. So, masayang-masaya po. Definitely, I’m happy with my life. I’m happy where I am, pati po sa kung sino ako today.”

According to Carla, there’s no singular formula for recovering from heartbreak. But she knew she was able to after finally coming to peace with herself.

For her, moving and having peace are the same. “As long as you’ve found your peace and wala ka nang bigat na dala-dala, you can say that you’ve moved on already. As long as you’re happy where you are, then you can say that you’ve moved on already,” she said.

Of course, it was a long and arduous process. “Akala po natin ‘di ba madali yong, ‘I forgive you’... But it’s very hard to do or give. Saka mas na-realize ko gaano siya ka-importante para sa sarili niyo po. I’ve realized more how important forgiveness is for yourself, not for the person you’re giving your forgiveness to,” she reflected.

“So, of course, it was a long process. Mahabang panahon at hindi po naging madali pero hinayaan ko lang po. Hindi ko po pinilit ‘yung sarili ko (I didn’t force myself). I took my time.”