The joys of parenting a child with autism

Last week, Maritess Velasco Joaquin, a former schoolmate, invited me to attend the opening of an art exhibit by Vico’s Gallery at Shangri-La Plaza mall. The exhibit features paintings of art students, who are deaf, with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or Down Syndrome. Maritess proudly shared that the artwork of her son Chico, 22, is included in the exhibit and asked if I could promote it to raise awareness on autism. I gladly said yes and set a date to meet her on May 1.

While I was at the exhibit, Maritess introduced me to Cathy Cham, the owner of Vico’s Gallery. It was because of Cathy’s son Vico that Vico’s Artism gallery came about.

What follows are highlights of the exchange I had with moms Maritess and Cathy.

Please tell us about Vico’s Artism Gallery and the inspiration behind it.

Cathy: “We discovered Vico’s gift at the age of 10 and saw his passion for arts as he grew older. My husband and I decided to plan for his future, uncertain if he will be able to get a job in the corporate world. We agreed to open a studio for Vico. Little did we know that God had bigger plans. In 2013, after Vico graduated from Shine Special Education Center as a graphic design artist, he was immediately hired by Unilab Foundation as an administrative and graphic artist assistant under the Project Inclusion Program. He is now in his 10th year with Unilab.”

“Vico’s Artism Gallery was a dream we could not let go of. We opened on April 16, 2023, and Vico continued to paint after work. Teachers of Vico recommended that we offer art lessons to children and young adults with autism to hone their gifts and become productive like Vico.”

Maxene Xyrielle Pua is a 7-year-old cheerful and loving girl. She showed interest and talent in drawing at age 5.

Describe the students who are enrolled in your classes.

Cathy: “Our students’ ages range from seven to 28 years old, and many of them have autism spectrum disorder. We also have two students with Down Syndrome. Most of them start off with doodles of their favorite cartoon characters at an early age. The challenging part is how to divert their fixation in using proper art materials, keeping their focus and improving their seating behaviors, especially for the younger kids.”

When did you discover that your sons could paint?

Cathy: “Discovering the gift takes a lot of patience and observation by the parents. When I saw Vico sketching persons, I knew then his passion was drawing people and flowers, so I allowed him to explore using different media such as colored pencils, water color and acrylic. In 2012, he started painting acrylic on canvas and he fell in love painting faces, fish and flowers!”

Maritess: “Chico was four years old and I saw a clay figure of a bird in his hand… that was his first work. He made clay animals like rhinoceroses, horses, turtles, fish, etc. As he got older, he did cartoon figures. I thought I’d try him in another medium and gave him a canvas, some brushes and acrylic paints. He called his first painting ‘fish in the wind.’ The rest is history and even today, he still makes clay figures.”

What are the joys and challenges of being a parent to a child with autism?

Cathy: “The early years from two to eight years old are always the most challenging for parents. But with early intervention, the children gradually grow up and become independent and manageable. This is not true for all, though, because of the spectrum, each individual with autism is entirely different. For us, parents, a smile, a laughter, a hug, a kiss and simply being called ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ are the greatest joy they can give us.”

Maritess: “With Chico, we still delight in first-time milestones. A complete sentence, a feeling well expressed, a shot in the hoop, packing his own clothes… mundane things but are giant steps for a child with autism. Seeing them healthy, accepted, embraced and understood by the family is enough to celebrate life.”

“The challenge is the future. Who will look after Chico when Pancho, my husband, and I are gone? I am blessed that my children are factoring him into their future. But not all are fortunate. This is the dire reality for parents with children in the spectrum.”

What advice can you give parents who have autistic children to develop their talents?

Maritess: “Expose them to different things. Music, singing or playing musical instruments, sports, arts, cooking… believe that God gave your child a special gift. Take time to discover it.”

What is the aim of the exhibit?

Cathy: “Flowers for You, Mom aims to showcase the gifts of our children, who are with autism. We combined arts and autism to produce beautiful artworks which reflect images which only their eyes can see. Our group of artists was assigned to showcase flowers to celebrate Mother’s Day and May, which is the flower month. We hope to inspire other individuals in the spectrum and their parents to discover, explore, develop and someday share their gifts.”

(Flowers for You, Mom runs until May 14 at Level 1, East Wing of Shangri-La Plaza in Mandaluyong.)