Jake Cuenca’s emotional pain was evident on his Instagram story, showing himself in tears which he posted last April, days after his romance with Kylie Verzosa ended.
The actor revealed during our conversation that what pushed him to tears were “pain and loss.”
“I think that was an accumulation of a lot of things that had happened to me in the pandemic. In a weird way, this is a reset for me and then I told myself, ‘I wanted this year to be somewhat a reintroduction of what I can do as an actor,’” said Jake, who topbilled My Father, Myself, one of the eight official films in the ongoing 48th Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF).
He shared that pain has become his friend after having realized that life, indeed, has its ups and downs. “Parang, I accept life in all its terms and conditions. I can’t just love life when things are happy and then hate it when things are bad.
“What I’m trying to learn now is to see the beauty (of life) and when bad times happen, I try to find laughter in that. You can’t just accept life when it’s good because life isn’t always good, di ba? So, I try to train myself to see the beauty in every situation whether it’s good or bad.”
But when he’s in love, Jake embraces the joys and pains that come with it.
“When it comes to love, you can’t really regret things because when it was there, it made me very happy and now that it’s not here, I can’t hate it or I can’t get mad at it. I can only look back at it with joy, but it also makes me sad because it’s not there anymore.”
Our conversation had him talking more about his views on life and the things that matter to him as a person on- and off-camera. Below are excerpts.
What are you like when you’re alone?
“Before when I was younger, I couldn’t stand being alone but now, I think I’ve enjoyed my time in solace, parang that’s when my creativity comes out when I’m alone, when I’m studying. I was able to do that this past six months.”
You couldn’t stand being alone when you were young, why?
“I think I was somewhat of a social butterfly. I think I enjoyed the noise; I enjoyed being in loud places, with a lot of people. Now at 34, I’m starting to discover that my creative process really comes out when I’m alone.”
When you find yourself wherever it is, kapag ikaw mag-isa at wala kang ginagawa and you’re just there alone.
“Yes, I haven’t done that in six months.”
Why not?
“This past six months I really decided that, because of everything ha, everything considered not just the breakup but everything considered, also three years of this lockdown, I felt I was like suppressed, I felt like I got very hungry to perform and now I feel I have abundance in me so I really wanna create more.”
What makes you happy now?
“My craft, my family — my mom most especially.”
What hurts you?
“I’d say memories maybe, some memories here and there at parang these past few months, I didn’t shy away from what I was going through. I didn’t really build a wall. I allowed myself to go through the pain.”
You’re talking about the breakup.
“Yeah.”
And it still hurts you. (It was last April when Jake took to Instagram to announce the end of his and Kylie’s three-year romantic relationship.)
“Uhm, well, you’re asking me what hurts me, yeah.”
What can’t you forgive?
“I don’t have a hard time forgiving because I don’t like to live a life carrying a lot of grudges or hate or anger. I just let that out in my acting na lang.”
What can’t you forget or do you forgive and forget at the same time?
“Yeah, I try to really let go of it. Once I give the bad person my forgiveness, that’s basically parang I have to try to forget parang ganun.”
What is it like to be you?
“The past year, it’s been a bit tough. A lot of things have happened. But now, I can say that I have thicker skin. I am tougher, the worst part is over. I am better so right now I can say — to describe myself — I’m excited to work, (I’m) motivated more than anything.”
People in the beginning, I think, when you started to act and we started to see you as an actor, I’ll be very straightforward, I don’t think a lot of people took you seriously.
“Yeah.”
You’re a pretty boy, you’re a ham actor. It’s cruel, I don’t like saying the “ham” because you evolved into a brilliant actor and we saw that journey and it didn’t come easy until people started to talk about Jake as an actor who is committed, intense. What was it in that journey? What was that pivot and how did you do it?
“I think I did it in the sense na parang I told myself that I’m gonna work harder because with my career, it’s not like I was always the favorite. It’s not like I was always the one that’s easily cast. So, I knew that I have to prove myself and when I heard the criticisms before, I took that constructively even though it was painful because to be called those things, it’s really difficult when you really love what you’re doing and you really want to be successful in what you’re doing.”
What’s the best thing about you?
“The best thing about me is that I’m real. I think another good quality that I have is (that) I’m honest.”
What is the biggest misconception about you?
“Perhaps, it’s also the thing that gives me success — it’s being the bad guy; being a contravida. Honestly, I have thick skin, I can stomach it but during the pandemic, s’yempre when you’re in the middle of an issue, it’s not that easy. But again, I just tell myself that this is the world that I live in. This is the career I want so I need to take the positivity and the negativity. I need to take them all at once. I can’t hate trolling and then just love the good comments, di ba? I have to take everything and accept life for all its terms and conditions.”
What are you doing now as an actor?
“Many things.”
What’s your prayer now?
“I thank the Lord for the realizations that come to me when I’m alone.”
What does family mean to you now?
“Everything.”
What are you like when you’re bad?
“To be honest, there’s not a lot of that side of me that comes out. That’s why I enjoy acting even more because I get to be bad when I do (contravida) roles.”
What is it that you don’t have that you want so badly?
“To perform in front of the world. That’s really my dream — for the whole world to see what I can do.”
What if you were not you?
“I’d love to be my brother, hahahaha.”
What if you were not a man?
“I’d probably be a dog. I love my dogs.”
What is your love language?
“Giving gifts.”
Jake, what now?
“A whole lot is to come. I’m looking forward to what’s gonna happen. I do mean it when I feel like I have an abundance in me. I feel like the three years made me so hungry and now, to be honest, I just want my characters and my projects to speak for me, rather than me trying to sell them.”