Karen Laurrie Mendoza was one of the favorites at the 57th edition of the Binibining Pilipinas held last year.
The Ilongga beauty queen’s question-and-answer performance created a lot of buzz not only among beauty pageant aficionados but also among netizens, who kept a close watch on the finals night. Some of them said that Karen didn’t make it because of what many deemed as the mind-boggling question, “When is it okay not to be okay and when is it not okay to be not okay?”
Truth be told: As one of the celebrity guest panelists, I was asked by the pageant organizers to send questions. I sent 11, including the “okay not to be okay” question, which became viral right after the pageant and anybody could have picked my name and the question was pre-taped. Any candidate could have gotten the question.
Several days ago, I had the chance to sit down with Karen for The Interviewer Presents, one of the segments of The Boy Abunda Talk Channel on YouTube. It was our first time seeing each other again since last year. I wanted to know and hear straight from Karen if she blamed me for what happened.
“Hindi po, Tito Boy. Actually, looking back at it, some may think that it was a disaster. For me, I look at it as a blessing in disguise because if it were not for the question, people won’t get to talk about mental health. I also got to work with organizations locally and internationally. It’s a nice feeling to be able to give talks regarding mental health,” said Karen.
It cannot be denied how Karen presented a strong start in answering the question and when she took me back to that very moment, she revealed that she got overwhelmed “because in my mind, there were still so many things I’d like to say but ayun na nga, nag-stutter ako. I still had something to say after that but I told myself, ‘Karen, it’s enough, okay na ‘yun.’
“I felt my answer was fine but I think I could’ve done better,” she ruminated.
A Top 13 finalist last year, Karen began to address the question by mentioning something about the death of a loved one. Her exact words were, “You know, sometimes it’s hard to move on, especially if we lost our loved ones, when we’re depressed, when we have anxiety, but most of all, when we want to move forward in life. You know, my favorite saying in a Disney movie, Inside Out, is embrace your sadness because in embracing your sadness, you will feel happiness afterwards.”
During our conversation, Karen further explained that the movie imparted lessons on handling emotions. She said that we should experience or make our other emotions valid.
“Hindi lang parating happiness kasi in that movie, yung tinuturo dun na dapat yung emotions mo kahit na sadness, anger, disgust, you should validate that at dapat ma-feel mo ‘yan kasi pag puro na lang happiness, you’ll never get to enjoy life. Parang walang meaning kung puro happiness and if you look back to your memories, ang dami mong pinagdaanan and you are you because of that,” the 26-year-old stunner said.
Long before the training I gave the candidates, I was already training Karen among other students. I didn’t have an idea that I would be part of Binibining Pilipinas as a coach.
Below are excerpts from my exclusive interview with Karen, who is again competing in this year’s edition of Binibining Pilipinas.
How long did it take you to recover? Kasi di ba, you went through a stage na s’yempre naapektuhan ka because you didn’t make it and expectations were high.
“For me, siguro Tito Boy, parang the next day.”
Really?
“Opo, kasi parang it took me just one long sleep for me to recover and then I don’t know if you remember but I messaged you. I said sorry because of the fans, who were overwhelmed, and I didn’t even reshare those posts because I know that we have sessions together and I understand how pageant works. I understand that it’s also a game and may the best girl win. And probably that night, hindi rin ako nabigyan ng, like winning glow because I believe in that. Rabiya (Mateo, Miss Universe Philippines 2020) and I talked about that if it’s your night, it’s your night.”
What do you call that, the winning glow?
“Yeah, the winning glow, it’s like you’re the only one shining on stage na parang kulang na lang dito korona na lang and your aura is different.”
What else did you and Rabiya talk about?
“When I visited her in her condo, her mom was here (Manila). It was, I think, a month or two months after the pageant, and when Tita saw me, she said, ‘Oh, Karen when I was watching you (during the finals), I couldn’t accept it.’ And I told her, ‘Tita, OK lang po talaga ako.’ Then, we laughed it off and Rabiya said, ‘If it’s your night, it’s your night.’”
Bakit kayo mag-kaibigan ni Rabiya? Nagkasalubong ba kayo sa mga contests sa Iloilo?
“Funny story because we’re with the same agency and then we’re both shy. I entered a modeling contest called Campus Fashionista and then I was the winner (in) 2013, she was the winner (in) 2014. Then, I auditioned for Aces and Queens Batch 2020 and she was also there. I was happy to see her. Sabi ko, ‘Oh my God, may kaibigan ako na nag-audition rin.’ We decided to join Miss Iloilo and then (before that) sabi ko, ‘Rab, bakit hindi ka mag-audition?’ We have this opportunity to be given financial support by the government and then ito na yung pinag-usapan natin before that we’re gonna join a national pageant. And so, we both joined. She won Miss Iloilo Universe and I won Miss Iloilo Binibining Pilipinas.”
You know, right after the finals night, I got a lot of text messages. I was described in many ways like, ang OA ng tanong mo Boy Abunda, trying hard ka, pa-intellectual ka. I was pissed at first but the following day, I felt okay. Just like you, I understood. I told myself, “Hindi naman nila alam ang buong kwento.” Did you know where I drew strength during those times? My truth was solid, balik ka ulit sa lahat.
“Actually, I also studied myself last year like, ‘Where did I go wrong?’ Of course, Tito, pasarela (pageant walk) is really hard because I’m used to my model walk.”
What’s the difference between that walk?
“Beauty queen walk is like a total package, while the model walk should be fierce, parang it’s your normal walk but it has a little sass. With the beauty queen walk, you need to be radiant, you need to smile and your hips dapat mas may sway para makita ng audience. And also, you need to train yourself how to project in front of the camera.”
If you were to tell yourself a most important reminder, ano ‘yung paalala na yun para sa sarili mo?
“To take it one day at a time and never pressure yourself because of what people have been telling you. What should matter most to you are those who believe in you because at the end of the day, ‘yun ang nag-ma-matter talaga.”