A beauty to die for

Up to this very minute, Paolo Ballesteros has neither denied nor confirmed what his sexual preference really is, not even when he was asked about it during a press conference at the Tokyo International Film Festival (TIFF) where he got perhaps the biggest surprise of his life by (unexpectedly) bagging the Best Actor plum.

“Shouldn’t I have won as Best Actress?” said Paolo, who was made up like Julia Roberts (see main photo in this page), in his acceptance speech, dedicating his award to, among other people who have helped him, his love child and his manager Joji Dingcong.

In Die Beautiful, directed by Jun Lana, Paolo plays a corpse whose friends change his make-up so he would look like a different celebrity every day, as per his last wish.

The role was inspired by Paolo’s reputation (yes, around the world) as an artist who can look like any female celebrity…name her, Paolo has done her!...by doing his own make-up, so incredibly magical a talent that has caught the fancy of the international media. (Dare: Can you identify the celebrities “cloned” by Paolo on this page and on Page C-?)

One of the eight official entries in the 2016 Metro Manila Film Festival (MIFF), Die Beautiful was one of the two films (the other was Viva Films’ Bakit Lahat ng Guwapo May Boyfriend?, also directed by Lana) that Paolo wrapped up during his six-month suspension from Eat, Bulaga! The suspension was not, contrary to how the movie press described it, a blessing in disguise.

“Nagkataoon lang,” Paolo would rather call it. “Just a coincidence.”

Just for curiosity, since Paolo loves to assume the look of his favorite celebrities, Conversations made him play the “If I were” game.

• If I were Pia Wurtzbach, I would never take the crown off my head so I would forever be Miss Universe.
• If I were Angelina Jolie, I would get all of Brad (Pitt’s) exes and make them godmothers to all my children because I’m a strong woman.
• If I were Hillary Clinton, I would join Donald Trump’s show The Apprentice, I would befriend Melania and give her free lessons on The Art of Speech Making.
• If I were Kris Aquino, I would post more of my blooming and gorgeous selfies on Instagram and feed my haters because I feel good and I am beautiful.
• If I were a contestant in the Miss Universe pageant, I would start learning Filipino words and always be pleasant to the audience during the pageant so that if ever I won’t get the crown, I will have an instant celebrity career here in the Philippines and host my own ballroom-dancing show.
• If I were an animal, I would be a cat so I could be the boss of my human master and he would be my pet.
• If I were a song, I would be Happy Birthday so that I would be remembered every day.
• If I were a flower, I would be a rose so I could laugh at all those smelling me and pretend that I was fragrant.
• If I were a place, I would be North Pole so I would always be on top.
• If I were another actor, I would be Wally Bayola so I wouldn’t have to worry about having a bad-hair day.
• If I were an actress, I would be Solenn Heussaff so I could wear bikini all the time and post it on my Instagram and get away with it because I would be gorgeous and my body would be hot.
• If I had a choice for a bed partner in real life, it would be a secret because I don’t want him to read this and think I’m that easy.
• If I had a choice for an actor in a torrid love scene, it would be Papa Piolo (Pascual) so I could fulfill, once and for all, the dreams of everyone and get away with it because it would be for the love of art.
• If I were Pres. DU30, I would marry Mocha (Uson) and declare our wedding day a non-working holiday for all our supporters and a no-work-no-pay day for all those whose favorite color is yellow.
• If I were PNP Chief Bato, I would have my last name changed because I am against drugs and it is kind of ironic.
• If I were to be reincarnated, I would be St. Teresa because she was “the most requested.”
• If I woke up the next morning to discover myself a certified girl, I would ask my fairy godmother to make me a man again because I wouldn’t want to experience menstruation.
• If I were to marry a guy, he would be Mark Zuckerberg so I wouldn’t have to work a single day in my life and be the queen of Facebook.
• If I were not Paolo Ballesteros, I would be Maria Jessica Paola Nicole Ballesteros because I am a successful beauty queen.

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