One of my coping mechanisms to handle pain is by laughing it off hoping that it would go away and diminish the feeling. Sometimes it works, sometimes, it doesn’t.
I must admit that when we said goodbye to The Buzz last year, I was in pain and in denial. I have always believed that the one immutable law of show business is that nothing lasts forever. But I didn’t say that it wasn’t painful. As a matter of fact, it was so painful that it sliced both my body and soul. I was gutted by the goodbye.
A couple of months after the last episode of The Buzz, I was better off. But the pain was still there after all I’ve been in the show since it started in May 1999. Why was it so painful when in fact I knew it was going to end? Why was it so painful when I’m not exactly jobless? Why was it so painful when other shows can still happen? The answer is simple: Because it was so much part of my being. It was so much part of my life that not doing it now was like losing a great love.
I have great memories about The Buzz. It gave me equity. And in some way, it defined what was “buzzable” in the business of show or as one marketing guru termed as “abundable.”
The pilot episode was held at a restaurant in the then quiet Bonifacio Global City. I entered through a topdown jeep. Kris (Aquino), Edu Manzano and Martin Nievera were the guests. It was blurry. I was trembling while holding my wine glass. I don’t remember what I talked about. I was totally lost.
It was on The Buzz where I did memorable interviews with Vhong Navarro, Claudine Barretto, Ai-Ai delas Alas, Gretchen Barretto, KC Concepcion and Kris. I worked with an amazing team of producers, writers and researchers. We won almost all the awards for entertainment show categories in all award-giving bodies. I got my Hall of Fame trophy from Star Awards and Aliw because of The Buzz. I sharpened my skills, rising and falling and rising along the way.
Did it come to mind that The Buzz was to last for more than a decade? No. I didn’t think about how long it was going to be on air. We were too busy running after stories. We begged, cajoled, taunted the devil and the deep blue sea to give us exclusives. Sometimes, we’d win. Sometimes, we’d lose. Time flew so fast. One Sunday, I was saying goodbye. It hurt so bad but it had to happen for us to survive!
Because of The Buzz, my name became “Susunod” or “Abangan.” This was after the “mahiwagang salamin” which I used in Startalk, the show I hosted with Kris and then Dawn Zulueta, then Rosanna Roces and always with Manay Lolit Solis. Then I moved to ABS-CBN.
On The Buzz, I worked with Dolly Anne Carvajal, Pat-P Daza, Tim Yap, Ricky Lo, Walden Belen, Anne Curtis, AJ Dee, Ruffa Gutierrez, Charlene Gonzalez, Toni Gonzaga, KC Concepcion, Janice de Belen, Carmina Villarroel, Cristy Fermin, Jobert Sucaldito, John Lapuz and Kris Aquino.
In the early years of The Buzz, I wore some of the most “disgustingly” outlandish outfits. I was brave, crazy and free. And proudly “baduy.” The Buzz allowed me to be this and more.
Then, I tamed up a bit in my outfits but became more risque with the exclusive interviews with the stars — big and small, hot and cold — but always interesting and explosive. It came to a point that when some news mattered, it had to be on The Buzz. I will not forget my interview with the young Claudine when Rico Yan passed away. Or the Vhong Navarro hospital interview. The KC Concepcion conversation happened way after midnight because we just couldn’t start. Or the many Kris Aquino interviews will always be remembered to be some of the most riveting. I once waited for Ness (Alma Moreno) at the Alabang Town Center until almost sunrise but the exclusive on her separation from Joey Marquez didn’t disappoint. And Ai-Ai’s stunning revelations were heartrending. And many, many other stories that stars chose to tell us.
But then the world has changed in massive ways — even The Buzz must go for it to be relevant, voices have changed, players and actors have changed, habits and ways have changed.
Change is painful. But pain can trigger hope. I am at this state right now.
Hopeful.
I still miss The Buzz, the “buzzables,” even the “abundables.”
But I am not complaining. On Tonight With Boy Abunda (TWBA), I declare that I am an abundant. I live in abundance. I live in hope.