Kris Aquino opens up about 'state of her heart'

MANILA, Philippines - Kris Aquino opened up about her short-lived relationship with Quezon City Mayor Herbert Bautista, which she never named but described as someone who "has given the majority of his life to public service."

The Queen of All Media recalled through her blog how she celebrated her birthday in Japan with her kids and the staff of her show "Kris TV."

She also didn't have time to spend her Valentine birthday as a single woman since she said "my mind and prayers have been focused on my brother, his leadership, safety, well being, and the path our country has to take as we grow into being a mature, responsible, peaceful democracy, strengthened with full economic stability."

So the day after her birthday she decided to "hibernate," saying "umemote ako with my Whitney Houston playlist." That was the time when she recalled her moments with Bautista, on how he asked for her number in the "Aquino & Abunda Tonight" dressing room, when he brought her two boxes of Gatorade and "when he used to surprise me by waking me up and bringing me my venti nonfat latte with no foam, just because his day would be so hectic and early morning was the only time he could see me, regardless of my still being fast asleep."

She even revealed how he almost proposed to her and said "he was tired, he didn’t want to play games, he was tired of chasing and of running away, and he wanted to feel secure with someone he could grow old with. He said, marry him kasi nga PAGOD na sya?"

After having him over dinner with her family, that's when she realized that "he never said he loved me," and they had a talk. 

"He cried, too and said he was scared, overwhelmed, afraid of being branded a “user” when he has given the majority of his life to public service, and maybe we should take a step back," she recalled.

The next day they still tried to make things work by going to church together, but didn't spend the whole day together since he had earlier commitments. Kris admitted feeling bad. 

"I made the mistake of speaking about him the following night on A&A. The next day, over the phone he broke up with me, right before Bimb’s 7th birthday party," she revealed. 

Despite the heartaches she had been through the past few months, Kris realized that "as much as I want us to be friends, we can’t. There were just too many promises that my heart so desperately wanted to believe in. And continuing the friendship will continue to make me long for what wasn’t meant to be."

She then admitted that up to this point, she's still praying and hoping that someone will come into her life and "be my strength. I still pray for someone to talk to at the end of a long day, someone who will listen, and someone who will also teach me new things, challenging my mind, and mirroring my values. Someone to pray with and pray for. Someone I can trust with all my fears, someone who accepts my past, and still looks forward to our future. And someone who won’t be tired about love, but will accept, nurture, and treasure what we will share."

Kris also learned that "true love doesn’t find you, neither do you find it. You build true love together, and you can’t do that when you’re tired, jaded, or weary. Love is built by those who have inspiration, determination, fortitude, trustworthiness, loyalty, courage, childlike faith, openness, enthusiasm, and enchantment with what is, plus all that will be."