Mommy Dearest

Last month, Lorna Tolentino and her sons Raphael Gregor (nicknamed Rap) and Renz Marion (or simply Renz) commemorated the sixth death anniversary of her husband Rudy Fernandez with, as usual, a Mass at the family mausoleum at Heritage Park, together with their close friends.

Although she claims to have moved on, Lorna has not touched Rudy’s things kept in order at a cabinet. Until Rudy’s passing, theirs was an ideal marriage despite the more than 10 years gap in their age. Lorna was barely out of her teens when Rudy met her and told her, “When you grow up, I will marry you!”

Turning 53 on Dec. 23, Lorna seems to have sworn off falling in love again, even if Rudy left word that it was okay, as long as the man was not as young as their sons.

“I’m happy with my life now,” says Lorna in this Conversation conducted a few days before she and her sons, together with her manager Lolit Solis, left for Germany for a second stem-cell procedure, not so much for the sake of vanity but for good health.

“I am happy being a lola,” Lorna adds. Her only apo is Lorna Victoria (Tori for short), the daughter of Rap and his girlfriend, who’s turning three years. “I have two men in my life,” referring to Rap and Renz, “and I don’t need one more.”

Spoken too soon? Knock on wood.   

As you look back six years after Rudy died, what are some of the  things that you think you missed doing?

“Actually, that’s what I am doing now with my sons Rap and Renz…traveling. Like sa Europe. Rudy and I planned but failed to go there. My sons and I went there, along with Nanay Lolit (her manager Lolit Solis). We’ve been to Paris and other places in Europe.”

What was your and Rudy’s favorite vacation destination?

“Hong Kong. It’s so near, so convenient. That’s why when I wanted to get away for a while, it was always to Hong Kong, with the kids. Group kami, sometimes with our barkada and their kids. Now, every time we visit the places that Rudy and I had been to, para bang may kurot sa puso ko because I remember what we did in those places. Lahat naman tayo feel that way, di ba?”

Is it true that you haven’t touched Rudy’s things?

“They are intact, nasa cabinet. Rudy’s things are in order, ayos na ayos, so why touch them?”

Isn’t it hard to move on because those things might be holding you back?

“Actually, Rap and Renz are using some of their dad’s things. They would say, ‘Ay, kelangan ko ng ganito?’ And I would tell them, ‘Ayan, tumingin ka sa cabinet ng Papa n’yo, mayroon dyan.’ It’s a good thing na magkasukat sila…shoes, shirts, etc.”

Did you really promise Rudy na hindi ka na ma-i-in love?

“He told me naman that it’s okay lang for me to fall in love again. Kaya lang, huwag daw d’un sa kasing-edad ng mga anak namin. But then, okey sana if I were in my 40s; kaya lang nasa 50s na ako, eh. (She’s turning 53 on Dec. 23. —RFL). As it is, as of now, okey lang ako.”

Anybody sending you “feelers”?

“Noon. Wala na ngayon, hahahaha!”

How is it bringing up two sons without a father? What if they need a father’s guidance?

“So many challenges talaga. You see, it’s easier to take care of boys than to take care of girls. If there are problems, whether major or minor, I pray. I close my eyes and call Rudy’s name and ask him to help me out. Naso-solve naman. I know that Rudy is just around, looking after us.”

Don’t you meddle in your sons’ love life?

“Not unless they ask me to. They are grown, mga binata na sila, mga man na sila, so they can take care of themselves.”

Do you see more of yourself or more of Rudy in your sons?

“More of Rudy. It’s more of them taking care of me than vice-versa. They are Rudy, maalaga. That’s why hindi siya nakakalimutan namin at ng kanyang mga kaibigan.”

Last June 7 was the sixth death anniversary of Rudy. What did you learn from his passing?

“That it’s true what they say…that life is short. So let’s not postpone to tomorrow what we can do today.”

You are going back to Germany (this weekend) for another stem-cell procedure. Do you really need it only one year after the first one?

“I’m going with Rap and Renz. Gusto na rin nila magpa-stem-cell, kasi sabi ng duktor the younger for you to have it, the better daw. Even daw if you don’t have any illness, it boosts your health daw. Nanay Lolit is going with us. It’s also her second time to have a stem-cell procedure. Rap and Renz will also endorse it for people their age.”

Is it really effective?

“With me, it is naman. Nawala ang back pain ko, although it’s coming back slowly. (Lorna has scoliosis; it runs in the family. Her cousins Zsa Zsa Padilla and Amy Perez have it, too. —RFL).”

At this point of your career, you enjoy the luxury of choosing your roles. What are your preferences?

“In My Destiny, the soap I’m now doing for GMA, I know na hindi naman naka-focus sa aming mga senior actors ang estorya. Even then, it is not enough that the plot should concentrate on the younger cast. My only request is for them to make my role medyo different naman from the previous ones like in Pahiram Ng Sandali and Genesis na talagang major roles. In My Destiny, my role is not major pero intertwined with the other characters. The soap is the story of three families, at ‘yung characters ang nagdudugtong-dugtong ng tatlong stories. I play the mother of Carla (Abellana) and Rhian (Ramos). Okey naman ang feedback, so far.”

How do you see yourself five or 10 years from now?

“Sana umaarte pa rin ako; sana I will still be in this business. I see myself managing a business on the side, like farming.”

With a new partner?

“Ay, I don’t see myself that way. I see myself more of a lola, taking care of my grandchildren. I have only one so far, si Tori who’s staying with her mom (Rap’s girlfriend). Habang kaya ko siyang buhatin, I want to spend as much time with my apo. Pasyal-pasyal kami, ganoon.”

Rewind your life. Would you live it the same way or would you change anything?

“No, I wouldn’t change anything. If ever, I would wish that I had more years with Rudy. We were together for only 31 years. It was too short. Sayang. We could have spent more time, more years together.”

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