•How Ai-Ai had ‘it’ restored •The Troy-Aubrey ‘formula’

The two presscons the other day were probably the most “howl-arious” the movie writers have ever attended. Noted (notorious?) for being licentious, unabashedly and unapologetically asking the stars unnerving questions that delve into, would you believe, body parts (such as, ehem, size and the like).

The first presscon was for a “for men only” product, Euphoria Maxx, a new brand of libido enhancer being endorsed by Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles, his partner for 11 years with whom he has a five-year-old son, Hunter. (Aubrey has a 13-year-old son, Maurie, from a past relationship.)

The photo shoot for the product was calculated to be “erotic” as a nod to Euphoria Maxx’s claimed enhancing properties (including boosting a man’s stamina), depicting Troy and Aubrey as a couple who has been in tip-top shape all these years. According to the manufacturer/distributor (BFPC), Euphoria Maxx works only for men (Aubrey was included as endorser presumably to prove that it works on Troy), especially those who are suffering from sexual dysfunction and those who want to be at their performance level where and when it’s needed. However, it shouldn’t be compared to Viagra which is prescribed for men with erectile dysfunction.

As you must have noticed at this point, today’s story is a bit “sanitized” to avoid offending the sensibility of some readers. Yours truly is treating the subject as clinically as possible, especially the following “for women only” story.

Back to Troy and Aubrey who have been keeping a low profile, with Troy devoting his time mostly to a film-processing company where he works. Their life together has been spared from the unsavory rumors that hound other showbiz couples and they are hardly ever talked about. No news is good news, right?

“Communication is important between us,” said Aubrey who has maintained her sexy figure (which was showcased in an FHM cover story a few years ago). “We are not the type of couple na away kaagad. We talk things out peacefully.”

“We’re fair in raising the kids,” added Troy who, at 40, still looks dashing (he’s a deadringer for Hollywood actor Brendan Fraser, isn’t he?). “We remind them to respect the elders and other people as well. “

The “formula” works pretty well for Aubrey and Troy.

***

If memory serves, I recall that the late Inday Badiday called it “floral arrangement.” Then, the process became known as “landscaping” (no, it has nothing to do with gardening). Dr. Vicki Belo’s Medical Clinic has just stamped a business name to it — Femilift. If you’ve been reading the tabs, I guess you know that the procedure has been called (oops! no malice now) Pussykip. Yes, it’s for women only.

“Giving birth, aging and obesity can cause stretching and looseness of the muscles,” well, “down there,” so Vicki’s clinic has come up with the Femilift procedure and enlisted Ai-Ai delas Alas as endorser (“I swear it’s tighter!” she proudly proclaims on the Belo billboards) not because she has greatly “loosened” up but, said Ai-Ai, “I want it to be firmer” (actually she used a colorful Tagalog term which cannot be printed here).

The procedure, lasting 10 minutes per session (an additional two are needed for premium result), costs P30,000 per. Ai-Ai went through it before she accepted the offer.

“It’s painless and non-surgical, highly recommended for women who have given birth the normal way,” said Vicki who, at the presscon, showed a film clip that detailed the procedure with clinical clarity. “It makes women feel whole, complete, very feminine and very sexy again.”

The fun part came during the Q&A when the unbridled Ai-Ai was bombarded with questions such as how she felt during the procedure (“Masarap!”) and if she’s ready to try her “newness,” but was tongue-tied when asked which actor she would pick to, well, “sample” it.

After the presscon, a for-women-only raffle for three free Femilift certificates was held. And the winners were: Bulletin’s Cris Belen, Bulgar columnist Len Llanes and Abante columnist Rose Garcia.

A mother’s pride: Pinay short-filmmaker at Cannes

Congratulations to Pamela Ll. Reyes, 23, daughter of The STAR business columnist Mary Ann Reyes, whose short film Harvest has made it to the Court Metrage-Short Corner of the ongoing Cannes International Film Festival.

Proud mom Mary Ann sent Funfare a copy of Pamela’s interview with Edwin Sallan on Interaksyon.com of TV5.

Sallan noted that Pamela has been making short films since 2011 and won Best Short Film for Ligaw in last year’s CineFilipino film festival. She is also the producer of the acclaimed Cinemalaya full-length feature Rekorder, directed by her boyfriend and frequent collaborator, Mikhail Red.

Pamela told Sallan that the film is actually a re-imagining of her earlier short film, Unawa.

“The basic story is by Mik, and we developed it together. He was also the main cinematographer of the film,” she told Sallan. “Harvest is about “a young girl who works in a fishing village in the province of the Philippines who tries to reconnect with her deranged mother in the city. Her estranged father, however convinces her that she has gravely mistaken her mother’s identity.” Mom Mary Ann co-produced the movie with a P60,000 budget, shot in four days in Bataan and Quezon City.

Mary Ann said that Pamela and Mik are now in the US to promote Rekorder at the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film festival.

“They will attend the Cannes Filmfest (which ends on May 25),” added Mary Ann.

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