Who is Kris’ secret ehem?

Curtain-raisers:

• This hunk is the perfect metrosexual who takes good care of his body. He has different lotions applied on different parts of his body at bedtime: One for his face, one for his arms and hands, and one for his legs. The Funfare Update informer isn’t sure if the hunk uses another kind of lotion for whatever purpose.
• At the open forum of a recent presscon, a senior writer asked a comedienne this question: What are you like in real life? Puzzled, the comedienne asked aloud, “Ano raw?” So the moderator translated the question into Tagalog. She blushed, “Ay, ang lalim naman!” and begged off from answering.
• When he learned that his stepmother Zsa Zsa Padilla has found a new love in the person of a famous architect (said to be a lady-killer), one of Dolphy’s sons said, “She deserves to be happy, after all Dad has been gone for almost two years. I’m happy for her.”

Who really is the man that’s making Kris Aquino’s “dormant” heart beat again like crazy?

Is he the Governor of Bataan? False alarm. (The governor is said to be “only amused” by the publicity generated by Kris’ social-media comments about the budding “romance,” and takes with a grain of salt Kris’ text messages.)

Is he Brapanese Daniel Matsunaga? False alarm. (Kris has been commending Daniel for acting like a good father to her son Bimby who, she said, needs the guidance of a father figure that she cannot provide.)

Or is he the unnamed businessman whom Kris allegedly met in Dubai during an ABS-CBN event there? False alarm. (Was he real or just a figment of Kris’ fertile imagination?)

People who know Kris very well are laughing (with her), perhaps knowing that all those (abortive?) “romances” are part of a diversionary tactic.

The truth is that Kris’ secret ehem is an actor-politician who has never been married but has kids by two (or three?) different women. He’s intelligent and has the “means,” and is well-liked by denizens of both showbiz and politics.

“They are secretly dating,” confirmed the Funfare Update informer. “Sana tuloy-tuloy na para naman lumigaya na si Kristeta.”

I wish her the same, too. Like her good friend Zsa Zsa, Kris has the right to be happy, especially now that her ex-husband James Yap is very, very happy with his girlfriend Michela Cazzola.

Sen. Bong set for Holy Land pilgrimage

Unless some “untoward” incident happens, Sen. Bong Revilla and his wife Cavite Rep. Lani Mercado are pushing through with their Holy Land pilgrimage during the Holy Week.

Keeping his fingers crossed and knocking on wood when he met the movie press yesterday, Bong said that so far, he isn’t aware of any “hold departure order” against him.

He added that until he opened up in a privilege speech, “I have no more fear,” adding that he’s going to the Holy Land with no more emotional baggage.

By a stroke of fate, Bong and Lani are travelling with the same group with Dr. Vicki Belo and her friend Hayden Kho. There’s a gap between them because it was Bong who initiated the cancellation of Hayden’s license (as a doctor) at the height of that better-forgotten sex-video incident.

No hard feelings, assured Bong.

“Past is past,” he said. “I’m happy that we will be together on that trip. Honestly, nararamdaman ko na ngayon kung anuman man ang naramdaman ni Hayden noon. We are going to the Holy Land not to fight but to pray.”

There must be some divine intervention in this case. Of all the travel groups, why would they sign up with the same one?

The question is: Will Bong work for the reactivation of Hayden’s license?

Well, some “miracle” might happen in the Holy Land, we can never tell.

(E-mail reactions at entphilstar@yahoo.com. You may also send your questions to askrickylo@gmail.com.)