Benjie Paras: Hands-On Dad

It’s Sunday afternoon, a week before Father’s Day which is being celebrated today.

When our group knocked at the door of the well-appointed, white-painted two-storey house at an exclusive subdivision in Quezon City at 1:30, Benjie Paras and his wife, Lyxen Diomampo (one-time Face of the Week of Star Mode, this paper’s defunct section replaced by Allure), and their children Kobe and Andre (from Benjie’s failed marriage to an actress who has also found a new happiness) and Sam, 3, and Riley, 6, (with Lyxen), interrupt their leisure hour and rush upstairs to dress up.

The family’s pet bulldog, Olga, quietly wanders the receiving room where we are setting up the TV cameras (for Startalk, aired yesterday on GMA) and the STAR pictorial. Olga looks scary but turns out to be friendly (“Harmless,” Benjie later assures us, joking, “walang silbi, ni hindi tumatahol”), joining the pictorial uninvited, cuddled by Andre.

In a jiffy, the family is all set, dressed in casuals as if they are just relaxing at home and we are “intruders.” It’s the only perfect day for a family pictorial because the kids are not yet in school and it’s Benjie’s rest day. We apologize for disturbing their Sunday but the couple says it’s all right.

They are a very nice family, making us feel welcome, very engaging in the free-wheeling Conversation. The older boys look like Paras clones (with distinct features from their mom).

Kobe, 15, is third-year high school at La Salle Greenhills, already 6’4” tall and growing. Andre, 17, is taking up a four-year Film course in UP, also already 6’4” and still growing. (Benjie is 6’4”, too.) They play basketball for their respective schools’ varsity.

After the pictorial/Conversation, the couple treats us to a merienda of empanada and palabok. And we leave them to enjoy the rest of their Sunday.

“This is how we spend our Sundays,” says Benjie, “walang gisingan ng maaga kasi walang pasok at wala akong work. Sometimes, we have lunch with my in-laws. We go to church, eat out and watch a movie. Or do some shopping for whatever the kids need.”

How will you spend Father’s Day?

Benjie: It’s just an ordinary day for us, kasi hindi namin sinasabayan ang iba. We don’t eat out because the restaurants are usually full with celebrating families. So we just spend the day at home. Lyxen cooks extra food, including noodles…pampahaba ng buhay. At siempre may cake.

There was a time when you were a single parent (to Kobe and Andre) after you broke up with your first wife. How was it?

Benjie: Actually, mahirap. I would bring Kobe and Andre to school and then pick them up every day. I got used to not going out and I just stayed with them at home. When they took a nap after lunch, I did my other errands. I made it a point to have them always with me. When I had to shoot or taping, or a game…I was still playing for PBA at that time…I would take them with me.

(To Kobe and Andre) Who between you has more girls?

(They make no comment, only point to each other.)

How do you deal with aggressive girls?

Andre: I don’t really mind them, ‘cause I don’t have time.

Kobe: What’s important to us is our studies and basketball.

(Back to Benjie) Would you let Kobe and Andre join showbiz?

Benjie: Oo naman. Since his schedule is flexible now that he’s in college, I told Andre that he can attend workshops. Kobe is still in high school, so mahirap ang kanyang schedule. After their classes, Kobe and Andre have basketball practice and they come home at around 9 p.m. But they have been featured in magazines and newspapers, so okay lang.

What reminders or tips do you give to Kobe and Andre as far as girls are concerned?

Benjie: What Lyxen and I always remind them is to choose wisely. Kailangan naming makilala kung sino man ang girlfriends nila…I mean friends na girls. No, Lyxen and I are not choosy; hindi naman kami namimili. Kasi they are still very young, so they need guidance. I tell them na huwag mag-seryoso. If they fall in love and they get hurt, I tell them that it’s a lesson to learn.”

(To Andre) What’s your type of girls?

Andre: Tall, pretty and rich…oops! joke lang!” (Benjie butts in, joking: Ako ang nagturo sa kanya n’un…’yung rich!”)

(To Kobe) What about you?

Kobe: Mabait, maganda at hindi maarte. And not the type na habol nang habol. It’s more exciting when it’s the boy who does the chasing, di ba?

Now that Kobe and Andre are grown-ups, do you treat them also as, you know, barkada?

Benjie: Oh yes. We even listen to the same kind of music. Dati, rock; now, hip-hop. We have the same taste in movies, mostly cartoons. They confide in me. If they have problems about girls, they consult their mom.

Kobe and Andre: We are very close to our mom.

Andre: I like to listen to music, I dance and I rap, and I play the guitar. I like to hang out with my brother.

Kobe: We are like barkada. We used to share a room. But even if we sleep in separate rooms, we sometimes sleep in each other’s room.

Any Father’s Day message for your dad?

Kobe: Thank you, Dad, for everything. No matter what happens, we will stay with you.

Andre: Thank you for all the advice that you’ve been giving us. In times na medyo nahihirapan kami, you’re always there to bring us back up. Thank you for tips sa basketball.

What about you, Benjie? Anything you want to tell Kobe and Andre for the whole world to hear?

Benjie: I don’t often say it but I’m really proud of you, guys, sa mga achievements n’yo. Sometimes you make tampo when I don’t allow you to attend parties na hindi dapat. Mababait kayo, madaling pagsabihan, so I’m a lucky father. I’m also a lucky husband. I can’t thank God enough na naging kumpleto uli ang pamilya ko.

Lyxen: I’m a Benjie fan

Perfect!

With that one word, Lyxen describes Benjie both as a husband and as a father.

“I’m doubly lucky because Kobe and Andre are nice boys,” says Lyxen who’s so petite that she looks more like one of Benjie’s children. “Naku,” Lyxen protests, “ang laki ng age gap namin nina Kobe at Andre. When it comes to basketball, they go to their dad. But when it comes to girls, I’m the first to know; sa akin sila unang nagsasabi. I always advise them to go for someone who’s not running after them, someone elusive because iba na ang mga bata ngayon lalo na some girls. I hope they find somebody na ang priorities ay God, family and school, with boyfriend as the least priority.”

If Lyxen sounds like a teacher, it’s because she is, rather was. She was also a commercial model.

“I used to be a pre-school teacher,” reveals Lyxen. “I was in elementary school when I watched Benjie play at the PABL. I wondered, ‘Sino ito? Ang galing!’ Then I saw him at the PBA and I said, ‘A, siya pala ‘yon! Sobrang galing pala!’ I became his fan.”

Lyxen was into her 20s when she finally met Benjie in person.

“Their team had a practice near the school where I was teaching,” recalls Lyxen, “at doon kami unang nag-meet.”

Already separated from his first wife at that time, Benjie courted Lyxen with the same doggedness that he displayed on the hardcourt. They’ve been together for 12 years, six years as steadies and longer than that as husband and wife (married in 2006).

“I was attracted by her love for children,” confesses Benjie. “I would watch her holding on to Kobe and Andre na mga bata pa noon,” adding in jest, “mas matangkad pa siya noon sa kanila. Nagustuhan ko rin ang pagiging simple niya.”

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