Carlo back to ‘home base’

He has been called “one of the most brilliant actors of his generation,” and he has the awards to prove it: Nominations and wins from practically every award-giving body in showbiz, from the Philippine Movie Press Club’s Star Awards for Television (which conferred on him a Best Actor win for his performance in Maalaala Mo Kaya’s Scapular episode) to the FAMAS (which, in 1999, was the earliest to recognize his potential when it named him Best Child Actor for the Vilma Santos starrer Bata, Bata Paano ka Ginawa?)

Going by that record alone, Carlo Aquino should already be in the top tier of showbiz’s young actors. But he is honest enough to admit that his progress would have been faster had he not allowed himself to be swallowed up by his own fears and doubts. This is his first time to admit that he had a problem living up to people’s expectations. The irony of it all is that there were some projects that he turned down —projects that would have increased his visibility and challenged him as an actor — because he wasn’t sure he could do them, although other people believed he could. They couldn’t understand why someone like Carlo, who has been in the business since he was a child, and showed immense potential as an actor, would feel that way. “Aaminin ko, before may mga doubts talaga ako sa kakayahan ko. Hinayaan kong lamunin ako n’ung kaba, n’ung takot na ‘yon,” he says. At one point, he even blamed the situation on his height, or lack of it. He believed the fact that he was shorter than some of his contemporaries was the reason why he wasn’t getting picked for certain roles, when the truth was it was his own internal demons that he had to fight. “Nape-pressure ako sa ine-expect ng mga tao at natatakot na baka hindi ako maka-live up. Nawalan ako ng confidence sa sarili ko.”

Whenever those fears would hit, Carlo would take a temporary hiatus from showbiz and turn to other things to give himself a break. He tried doing indie films. He put up a business. He tried switching networks and changing managers. But nothing worked. He remained in this situation for about three years. This stop-and-start approach to his career is the reason why he has been held back. But Carlo knows there is no one to blame but himself. “Wala akong ibang sinisisi kundi sarili ko,” he says honestly. “Hindi ko ma-explain kung bakit (ganoon ang pakiramdam ko). Kahit ako, hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling (ang takot na) ‘yon, pero dumarating eh. Hindi puwedeng di ko pansinin.”

Now he is back and trying to make his way through the industry again. He has returned to his “home base,” which is ABS-CBN and Star Magic — he re-signed with them late last year — and has decided that this time, he will try harder to defeat his fears. The key has been embracing his fear and accepting that for as long as he is in this industry, they will never really go away. He has to learn how to face them and make them work to his advantage instead of letting them drag him down. “Dumating ako sa point na parang may mga frustrations na ako. Sinubukan ko na iba ‘yung ginagawa ko, pero sa huli, ito (acting) din ‘yung gusto kong gawin. Sabi nga nila, babalik at babalik ka rin.”

Fortunately for Carlo, there are people who never lost faith in him or his abilities as an actor. One of them is no less than ABS-CBN’s president and CEO Charo Santos-Concio, also host of Maalaala Mo Kaya, the show on which Carlo enjoyed some of his best moments as an actor. “Kinuha ako ni Ma’am Charo ulit, eh si Ma’am Charo kasi, lagi niya akong ni-re-request, tapos minsan, nahihiya man ako, minsan ayoko kasi sobrang iniisip ko, ‘Ah, kaya ko ba?’ gan’un.”

Now his career seems to be picking up steam. With a signed two-year network contract, Carlo has been cast in an important role in the TV remake of Annaliza, and has other projects waiting in the wings. “N’ung una nga, sabi ko, ‘Totoo ba ito?’ Parang ang bilis kasi ng mga pangyayari. Nag-MMK kami ni Joem (Bascon), tapos Dugong Buhay, tapos Annaliza. Natutuwa ako. Sana tuloy-tuloy na nga.”

He draws inspiration from his family and his non-showbiz girlfriend, whom he has been with for three years. Carlo is hopeful that this time around, things will only get better — and we hope the same, because someone as gifted an actor as he is deserves only the best.