Monique: Happy being gay

MANILA, Philippines - Monique Wilson may have publicly come out as a “gay woman,” but she hopes her confession will not eclipse her advocacy on anti-violence against women and girls.

This, the 42-year-old actress-activist requested after admitting to the media her sexual orientation to “end all speculations,” during last Friday’s press launch of the Philippine counterpart of One Billion Rising — a global campaign to help stop violence against women and girls.

“For all these years, I thank so many people especially the media who respect me for what I am. I know that many of you know who I am, but the respect you gave me is so overwhelming. Being a gay woman is something I should be proud of being. I just kept quiet about it because I am here for my art and not because of my being gay. Ngayon ko lang inamin publicly kasi nga ilang taon na ba ako? This is the right time, I think, that I have to be public about it to also end speculations,” Monique said.

For making it public, “I’m really happy. I just hope it will not eclipse the One Billion Rising campaign. I never denied it except that I thought baka yun lang yung pag-uusapan. I never want to divert the (attention) from my theater advocacy,” added Monique, whose New Voice Company has been staging the feminist play Vagina Monologues annually since 2000 to benefit women’s causes and groups (like the Lila Pilipina org of comfort women for last year). “But over the years, the media has given me so much respect. Thank you also for allowing me all the time and space to figure out who I was… to let me keep doing my work without any obstructions.”

She said she already knew her sexual orientation since she was 19 years old, which was around the time she became Lea Salonga’s alternate as Kim in Miss Saigon on London’s West End. It’s a non-issue long known by family, friends and theater colleagues. “I grew up in Repertory Philippines (theater group); it’s such an open culture. And my family was also very supportive. It’s not a big deal. We don’t even talk about it. To them, as long as you’re happy, that’s the most important thing. That’s what made me even more grateful, because my family was very supportive and very loving.”

According to Monique, her experience is not the same for everyone. “In my life, I’ve been able to get so many opportunities that it didn’t matter if I was gay or not. So, I think we need to speak up and be role models, too, to debunk all the stigma attached to it. I think that’s the problem with us, maybe because we’re a very conservative culture, it’s like it’s not as widely-accepted, so to me, it is very important to break those silences, those myths and those stigmas, to live with freedom, with dignity and respect.”

Monique also confirmed that she is  battling cancer. “I’m managing. What I have is a type of blood cancer that is chronic, so you just have it for your whole life. I take a chemo tablet a day. They said there’s still no cure, but if you manage it, then you can extend your life, but I have a lot of side effects like nausea, stomach upset, heart palpitations,” she shared.

“But then again, it’s part of my gratitude. I won’t be complaining about it. I’m so lucky to be even alive, to be well, to be on medication. You know when I go with (women’s group) Gabriela to do outreach in communities, my gosh (I find that) wala silang medicine. When they have cancer, they just die, and to me, that’s part of my passion of One Billion Rising, like how come, my life is so different from the 80 percent in our country who don’t even have enough food to eat? They don’t have enough luxury of having medications if they’re ill.

“To me, it put things in so much perspective really. In fact, I got stronger when I got cancer, as in feeling ko, why am I gonna waste my life? I’m really going to spend it to serve others.”

That’s why she’s taken on the One Billion Rising Philippines campaign, the main event of which is happening on Feb. 14, 2013, also the 15th anniversary of V-Day, the movement spearheaded by Vagina Monologues playwright Eve Ensler, who will be coming to Manila from Dec. 16 to 23 as part of the One Billion lead-up events.

According to the One Billion Rising media release, the Center for Women’s Resources documented in the Philippines a 47.74 percent increase in cases of violence against women and children from 18,242 in 2009 to 26,951 in 2010. In 2010, a total of 4,572 cases of rape were documented by the Women and Children Protection Center of the Philippine National Police, 19 of which were incestuous or perpetrated by a victim’s blood relative. “Approximately, one woman is beaten by their partners or husbands every 43 minutes, while one child is battered every hour and 20 minutes. A woman or child is harassed every four hours. There are 500,000 victims of prostitution in the Philippines where 100,000 of them are children,” it further said.

One Billion Rising will invite “one billion women and those who love them to walk out, dance, rise up and demand an end to this violence.” In the Philippines, among the lead-up events — which Monique’s New Voice Company is co-mounting with Gabriela — are the celebration of the International Day to Eliminate Violence Against Women today,  women’s caucus, cultural events, Ensler’s weeklong visit, talks — culminating in a dance-concert party in Quezon City on Feb. 14, 2013.

(For details, log on to onebillionrising.org.)