The art of hosting dinners

Once in a blue moon I host dinners for friends in different places. I did once in Puey Quiñones’ atelier and the last one was in my favorite La Cocina de Tita Moning near the Malacañang Palace.  

I gather people from different worlds. I would invite 10 to 15 guests depending on their availability and the size of the restaurant. 

These are fun dinners where I’m able to connect people who enjoy good food and excellent conversation. In one of these dinners, I invited actress LJ Reyes, broadcaster Karen Davila and husband DJ Sta. Ana, businessman Mike Sicat, lawyers Gerry Paras and Luz Manlapaz, direk Bobby Garcia of Atlantis Productions, Northern Samar Vice Gov. Ram Uy with girlfriend Bb. Pilipinas International Diane Necio, bossa nova diva Sitti, Ladlad Partylist’s Bemz Benedito and couple Amy Perez and Carlo Castillo. 

“Do you have a wishlist?” a friend asked me. “I don’t,” I quipped. I move with the flow. Sometimes it’s very hard to balance your guest list because there are people you cannot put together. There are those who have irreparable differences in politics or personal issues so you have to be very cautious. Amidst frenetic schedules, with the help of my staff, I always manage to gather an exciting mix of guests. And just by listening to the conversation during dinners, I learn so much from personal experiences and opinions of my guests. I always feel richer after these dinners. 

Clockwise: Pinky Sabinosa-Nelson, Vina Morales with Jason and Nikki Buensalido. Right: Mons Romulo-Tantoco.

In the most recent one I hosted at La Cocina de Tita Moning, I invited TESDA director general Joel Villanueva, Nini Borja, owner of the iconic Intermatrix, producer Melo Esguerra, beautiful and talented sisters Vina Morales and Shaina Magdayao, brilliant architects Jason and Nikki Buensalido, lovely couple Rep. Roman Romulo and wife Shalani Soledad, the unflappable Mons Romulo-Tantoco and my dearest Pinky Sabinosa Nelson who is now based abroad and married to American diplomat Rick Nelson.

It’s exhilarating to put people together who are so different yet so friendly. You will hear different perspectives and opinions about everything that’s happening and yet to happen. Conversations would swing from Gu Kailai, wife of Chinese Bo Xilai, Jeremy Lin, Roger Federer, WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange, Madonna, the controversial Zhang Ziyi to The Mistress, the latest movie of John Lloyd Cruz, Bea Alonzo and Hilda Koronel. The verbal exchange is electric. Then there are quiet moments when conversation veers towards things that are best talked about in whispered voices. 

This is partly research for me. Listening to what people have to say about diverse issues allows me and my guests to have a better understanding of people and events. And healthy “chismis” always spices up verbal jousts. 

In one of these dinners, Shaina, Vina and TESDA genius Joel were discussing social media. The sisters even taught Joel how to do the Instagram. In the past, although there were heated arguments about the RH Bill and the impeachment trial of the former chief justice, guests would always know when to stop. Contracts have also been closed and friendships have been forged in these dinners.

Exchanging views and opinions, agreeing, disagreeing, laughing together aside from the good food that places like Tita Moning offer, guests leave the dinner table with expansive perspective about life and the world. 

It’s empowering, enriching to make new friends. It’s wonderful to discover what people think, what their ideas are, how they have changed through the years and how they have stood by on principles they have always believed in. 

Managing conversations is an art. I’m still learning. Topics should move from east to west, north to south. Seating arrangement is vital. I don’t sit in the middle so that I am not expected to moderate the conversations. Sitting in the middle would suggest that I am the dominant figure in the engagement. I’ve learned that conversation when allowed to naturally flow is really wonderful. I sit people who belong to different industries side by side because they would immediately be interested with one another. Conversation starts with people who are seated beside each other until it becomes the common topic of the whole table.   

I’ve been hosting dinners for years now but I’m not able to do this as often as I used to because of insane schedules. I’m truly looking forward to the next one. Who I will share the dinner table with, is the start of another exciting journey.