What Odette misses most about Bodjie

BEVERLY HILLS, California — Having lost a sister to the Big C six months ago, I can feel what Odette Quesada is going through when she shows up first week of April (before Holy Week) at the London Hotel in dark shades and dark clothes, accompanied by immigration lawyer Jemela Nettles who has arranged this interview. The two are neighbors, good friends.

Odette is deep into the grieving period. She lost her husband, composer Bodjie Dasig, also to cancer on March 12, barely a month earlier. He was 48.

“Too young to go,” says Odette, holding back tears.

Bodjie’s departure was so sudden that, according to Odette, she’s still trying hard to make sense of it. As she recalls the time since Bodjie was diagnosed late last year, I imagine listening to his hit song Sana Dalawa Ang Puso Ko.

We proceed to the hotel’s garden for a chat.

It’s not even a month. How are you? 

“There are days that aren’t good.”

The news about Bodjie’s passing came as a shock especially to your colleagues in the music industry.

“We actually never even told anyone, only family and not even all the family. At the start, we thought he would be okay. We found it hard for him to be associated with cancer.”

What stage na siya when he was diagnosed?

“Stage 4. He was diagnosed on Dec. 27 last year. The cancer started at his right kidney but when it was diagnosed, it was in his lungs na.”

What were the symptoms?

“It was difficult for us to really pinpoint the symptoms. He was trying to lose some weight so he was eating only once a day. Initially, he lost a lot of weight. We were kinda happy but at the back of my mind I was worried by his rapid loss of weight. I thought he had diabetes.”

Did he lose his appetite?

“That didn’t happen until after the diagnosis. Psychological ba? Not exactly. He was having digestion problems.”

Did he undergo chemotherapy or radiation?

“No radiation, only oral chemo in the form of a pill.”

How long were you married?

“Almost 19 years. We would have celebrated our 19th anniversary on April 3, Holy Wednesday.”

How many children do you have?

“Only one, a boy. He turned 17 on March 1, a day before his Papa died.”

You and Bodjie made beautiful music together. How many songs did you compose before you migrated to the US? (Among Odette’s classic hits is Hopeless Romantic, recorded by the late Ric Segreto.)

“I was very prolific in the ‘80s. In three years, I did so many songs that I have lost count. Most of them have been revived. I don’t know how many versions na.”

Of course, all your songs are your favorite. But what’s your No. 1 favorite?

“Probably the song that Bodjie and I wrote for our son. It’s called My Favorite Story. It was recorded by David Pomeranz. I think it came out a couple years ago in his album.”

How many songs did you and Bodjie write together?

“A lot, but not necessarily published. I have a few unrecorded songs of my own. Kami ni Bodjie, after we wrote a song together, we would record a demo of it in our little studio at home.”

How long have you been in the US?

“Eleven years already. We left the Philippines after the first anniversary of my grandmother’s passing.”

How has life been here so far?

“Like in any other place, there‘s a lot of ups and downs. You struggle for a while, you make it for a while and you struggle again. That’s the life of a musician. It depends on how many people use your songs and how much money you make.”

Since you migrated here, haven’t you gone home for vacation?

“No, kasi my mom and my stepdad are here, they live in Arizona. Some of Bodjie’s siblings are here, too.”

How is your son taking it?

“Hmmm, slowly, gradually. He’s in college na. He was very close to his dad. Sunday nights, the two of them would watch this whole block of animation shows on TV. That’s probably what he misses the most spending…spending Sunday evenings with his dad watching cartoons.”

What about you? How are you coping?

 “That’s the right word — coping. That’s probably what I’m doing right now. I may look strong but I’m tearing up inside. I think I started grieving from the time Bodjie was diagnosed.”

Was Bodjie resigned to, you know…

“No, I don’t think so because he was on his chemo break when he died. He said what they do is put you on a four-week program and then take you off for two weeks. He was in the second week of the second round of chemo so he was about to start chemo again around March 19 or 20.”

Did he make his last wishes?

“No. He wasn’t really prepared as he was really hoping that he would recover. But even before he got sick, we would talk about it…you know, cremation. We agreed that whoever between us would pass on ahead, that there wouldn’t be any viewing, cremation kaagad. But we agreed to celebrate life, so we had a church memorial for him just this weekend. On Sunday, our friends will have a tribute memorial for him.”

What do you miss the most about Bodjie?

“Bodjie was a very funny guy. In fact, during the memorial, everybody was talking about how funny he was. It was only after he got diagnosed that he stopped laughing. Suddenly, he wasn’t funny anymore. He became serious.”

I guess you’re writing a song for him.

“Well, may be I will. But right now, I can’t seem to pick up my guitar or play the piano. Someday soon, I know I will. Bodjie will be right beside me writing that song.”

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