Why Alyssa 'disappeared' from Startalk?

There is no truth to the rumor that when Alyssa Alano disappeared from Startalk and the showbiz scene for more than a month she was giving lectures on English grammar in Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

This tale was so absurd that no one picked it up  after I spread it around. I was never really effective as a gossip and only heaven knows how I managed to survive all these years as a showbiz talk show host.

When she failed to show up one Saturday on the set of Startalk, I actually wondered where she was. Her manager, Annie Ayroso, wasn’t around either to tell me Alyssa’s whereabouts.

Failing to get any answer even from the Startalk people, I did my own investigation around GMA 7 and discovered that she had been drafted to join Survivor Philippines.

Since everything involved in the pre-production of Survivor Philippines was done in utmost secrecy, that was the only piece of information I gathered. I didn’t even know where they were  and who had been evicted so far.

 When Alyssa returned we managed to catch up on each other and that gave me the chance to solve a puzzle that had bothered me  only briefly though  some months back.

 This began when I received feelers  done very discreetly  to find out if I was interested in signing up for Survivor Philippines. My response was a quick no. But I was told: Not so fast! Think about it, I had been advised.

For two days, I was wrenching the bolts and mostly nuts in my head. After a week, I was asked regarding my final decision.

I managed to verbalize only two concerns: 1) I didn’t want to be away from Startalk and 2) I didn’t want to expose myself to the elements since I’ve reached an age where I can no longer play Russian roulette with my skin.

The Survivor Philippines representative offered a quick solution to concern No. 2: Dr. Vicki Belo and Flawless, both of which I endorse anyway, would be there to repair skin damage. Belo Medical Clinic was able to restore the good looks of last year’s Survivor winner Akihiro Sato.

I actually wasn’t very pleased with the underlying tone of the Survivor liaison when she compared me to Akihiro. Duh! What was I so worried about? I was never an Akihiro Sato to begin with.

Before I could wring her neck, however, she quickly jumped at concern No. 1: I would be given a compensation that is a near equivalent of my Startalk talent fee. I stood to get even more because the remuneration was going to be per day, unlike in Startalk that paid weekly.

But it wasn’t about the money. I love my Startalk job and the challenges it offers. I will miss the celebrity funerals and wakes! Okay, and the happy weddings, too.

What I didn’t voice out was my major consideration  the one big factor that will always prevent me from participating in Survivor Philippines: I am a city mouse  starting from the day I was born. I always have on standby my Coke Zero, my milk, dark chocolates and Nova chips.

And what about the basic comforts of urban dwelling? What about the bathroom?

With regard to the bathroom, Alyssa gave me the answer upon her return. The toilet was the entire islet (in Palawan). Choose your spot.

Uh, how did she wash? Oh, there was the sea, she offered casually. Did they have soap? Oh, no soap! You had to be innovative enough so that you didn’t smell.

It was also while she was sharing her Survivor experiences with me that I was finally able to solve the puzzle in my head. Survivor Philippines wanted me in this edition because the contestants came in pairs. There had to be a connection between the teammates. Alyssa and I are with Startalk  that was going to be our common denominator. But I declined. And so she ended up with Aifa Medina, who is also being managed by Annie Ayroso.

Do I regret not having joined Survivor Philippines? No. The ongoing edition is the toughest so far compared to the previous years. And the participants seem to be the most difficult and uncooperative  to the point that the usually cool and collected host Richard Gutierrez gets upset at times.

Getting stranded on an island would also have made me feel like the world had passed me by. It did for Alyssa. When she returned to civilization, her talent manager Annie already had a new ward: Nozomi Moriwaki, a 15-year-old Fil-Jap singer who already has an album, Before I Reach 16 (released by Polyeast Records), that contains original songs written by Vehnee Saturno.

So who won in Survivor Philippines? Alyssa wouldn’t say. She insists she doesn’t know. Maybe, since she doesn’t lie.

Or perhaps, she’s just being Alyssa  lovable, but forever clueless about everything around her.