Getting to know Saint Pio

Saint Pio was born on May 25, 1887 in Pietrelcina Southern Italy.

He died on Sept. 23, 1968 in San Giovanni Rotondo.

Catholics celebrate two Feast Days of Saint Pio: His birth date and his death anniversary.

On Sept. 20,1918, the five wounds of Our Lord Jesus appeared on Saint Pio’s body, making him the first stigmatized priest in the history of the Church. His entire life was marked by intense wounded sufferings, long hours of devoted prayers and confessionals that he gave to his countless believers. 

In my column last time, I shared with you some pictures of Padre Pio’s present-day tomb. 

Look closely at the picture. Zoom in on the reflection on the glass. The reflection of a human being behind Julius and me (my reflection is of the woman wearing a bracelet, holding a camera) Si Julius yung nasa harap ng reflection ko. There is a reflection of a man who uncannily looks like Padre Pio. 

To appease himself, Julius went back the next day to the exact spot where this photo was taken. There was no painting of Padre Pio on the wall opposite Padre Pio’s room which could have been the source of his reflection on the glass. So to this day, we believe that it was the image of Saint Pio on the picture which we previously took. 

This is my favorite place inside the museum — Padre Pio’s bedroom. Where his shoes are displayed. The bed where he slept and breathed his last — the oxygen tank near the sink… his table full of novenas and his favorite books. He stayed here until he died because when he received the stigmata, he never ever left Santa Maria Delle Grazie.

Visit the Philippine Centre for St. Pio of Pietrelcina along Libis. The place is beautiful.

The pros & cons of  being pushy parents

I recently transferred to the Kapatid Network, TV5.

I now co-host Kumare Klub, the daily morning show which curtails to the needs of moms and housewives.

Recently in my ParenTIN segment in the show, I tackled the topic on Pushy Parents. I had, as resource person and live studio guest, Melissa Pizana-Cruz. She and husband Herald head the Parenting Cluster of the Center for Family Ministries of the Ateneo de Manila University and do public speaking engagements for various sectors both here and abroad.

Allow me to share with you her interesting insights on parenting and the effects on the child when you are too pushy. If you are guilty of being too pushy, read on:

According to Melissa, there are three basic types of parenting approaches:

1.) The Autocratic (Order without freedom) — the kind of parent who dictates to the child. And the child has no choice but to follow, even if it’s against the child’s will.

2) The Permissive (Freedom without order) — this kind of parent gives the child absolute freedom to decide and make choices in life. Even if the child does not feel like doing homework, this kind of parent will say, “it’s okay, whenever you feel like it.”

3) The Democratic (Freedom with order) — this kind of parent gives advice and choices, do’s and dont’s, but the child still has the freedom to decide on what he or she thinks is best for her. The child is also given the freedom to express his or her own feelings, and the parent listens and understands.

Which parent are you?

I learned from Melissa that the following are the effects of being a pushy parent:

The positive effects:

The child exerts extra effort to excel in school. The child becomes an achiever. The child would most likely have the desire to follow in his or her parents’ footsteps, and will have the same drive to succeed.

The negative impacts of this on the child would be:

1. Rebellion

2. Anxiety

3. Low self-esteem

4. Cannot make decisions

Melissa reminds us that it is normal for a parent to have set expectations on their child. Yes, all parents want the best for their children. But at the same time, the parent must strike a balance between “perfection” and “excellence.”

I like that. Perfection vs. excellence.

Melissa defines perfection, in the context of parenting, as always striving to be No. 1, no matter what the cost, physically or emotionally, to the child. These are the parents who look at the prize as the end goal.

Parents who value excellence, on the other hand, view life as a journey. Yes, you strive for high and achievable goals, but these are merely the means, instead of the end, in achieving a life worth living for your child.

As parents, our goal must not be perfection, because, in the final analysis, no one is perfect, but one of our greatest tasks is to feed their souls, and help them make sense of this world we call our home.

I’m inviting everyone to join my bazaar next month. For details, call 931-0852.