Life's lessons to live by

“Life is not a poem, Roy! It’s a race  and I intend to win!”

That’s Hilda Koronel snapping at Roy Alvarez in the 1984 Ishmael Bernal comedy/drama Working Girls as written by Amado Lacuesta.

For those who didn’t see the film, here’s a background: In the story, Hilda is an ambitious and shrewd bank executive who will do anything to get to the top  and she does. But she has a boyfriend (Alvarez), who is a poet who lives in a different world. On the day a bank run ensues and everyone is running around trying to save the situation, Roy visits her office and starts feeling romantic and begins telling Hilda to slow down.

This is when Hilda is forced to tell him off and that curt remark from her is one of my favorite lines from the movies. It became my guiding light when I set out for life’s journey.

I am ashamed to admit this now, but back then I had very little respect for the laidback, which I felt artists were. I told myself to seize every opportunity in life to get ahead and be the most aggressive go-getter.

I wasn’t the only one who believed that life was a race. A couple of years before that, a journalist friend had his first book published. At the launch, a former classmate from journalism school, who probably is more gifted, but lacked the drive asked his book to be signed by the author, who  maybe in a rush  scribbled: “We were together at the start of the race, I hope we still are at the finish line.”

That seemingly innocent and harmless dedication offended the batch-mate, who felt that he had been left behind in the race. He had already conceded by then. But to be told that to his face must have been painful.

Life is a race. I’ve always embraced that dictum.

However, now that I’ve traveled such distance in life, I realized that there is also a point when you have to slow down and have time for poetry to nourish the soul.

Or maybe life’s scenario was different back then. This was the time when everyone had to achieve and that the measure of success was being on top of the profession.

But today, we have househusbands and we don’t necessarily mock them because in this age when every other marriage is getting annulled, we salute those who are willing to sacrifice in order to keep the family whole.

I don’t know if it’s age that is making me say this or the changing times  when life’s priorities have become different.

Today, we aim for a more stress-free life  in order to live longer. I think this is the more enlightened principle in life because we are finally giving importance to what God gave us  Life.

No, this is not an anti or pro RH bill article. I simply want to share what I’ve learned in my long journey. And these are what I discovered regarding money and career:

• Money is important, but only up to a certain extent. Just have enough to tide you over till your twilight years.

• Never step on people on your way to the top: You’ll get trampled on by bad karma on the way down.

• Don’t bother to accumulate material possessions  you can’t bring these with you in the life beyond. Sure, there will be plenty for your heirs to feast on. But in the same manner, there’ll be more to fight over.

• This much I observed: The happier parents in the end were those who gave more time to their children rather than money and other material objects. Those who were away from home most of the time to work were loved less by their children.

• While Overseas Filipino Workers are still regarded as modern-day heroes by this nation, I doubt very much if their efforts are truly appreciated by their children. I am not saying that dependents of OFWs are ingrates. But that’s physics: You stay away, you get detached.

• I’ve seen parents who become very unhappy when they get old because after slaving it out so that they’d have a lot to pass on to their children, they see their kids bickering over choice properties.

• Meanwhile, parents who just made sure their kids got a good education and enough food on the table and were mostly home get rewarded by having their children provide for them at old age. The old folks take pride in that  that their sons and daughters gave them this and that.

I’m not pushing for parents to be a burden to their kids. What I am pointing out is the need for balance.

After many decades, I’ve come to realize that you can actually choose not to make a race out of life.

You can jog at a slower pace while listening to poetry on your iPod.