Baron Geisler: I have forgiven myself

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That’s a portion of the Serenity Prayer pasted on the wall near the entrance of Penuel House in a quiet corner in San Juan City which has been home to Baron Geisler for three months now. On the calling card of Tony de la Paz, the facility director, Penuel House (only into its fourth year) is described as a “liberating, life-changing boarding school for men.”

When our group arrived early last Tuesday afternoon, Baron met us with a wide smile, his eyes showing a refreshing calmness that has replaced the troubled glint that betrayed the demons he had difficulty dealing with. He has gained weight, drenched in sweat as he shook our hands after playing basketball.

Apparently, Baron has the “courage to change the things” that he could, that’s why he said he’s glad that he agreed to enter rehab as suggested by his manager, Arnold Vegafria, after he was censured by the PAMI (Philippine Artists Managers, Inc.) for committing “acts of lasciviousness” against Cherry Pie Picache during a shoot for the ABS-CBN soap Noah.

“Give me two minutes to freshen up,” said Baron as he excused himself.

Baron inside the Penuel House with Tony de la Paz, the facility director — Photos by JULIUS SEVILLA

Then, sure of himself, focused unlike during his “addicted” days (“Addicted to alcohol,” he clarified, “not to drugs”), he sat for a heart-to-heart, no-holds-barred interview.

How long are you supposed to stay here?

“PAMI recommended a three-month rehab but I decided to stay a little longer para hinog na hinog talaga ako. Three months are not enough for me to learn many things; ang dami ko pang dapat matutunan. I love this place. Graduates become so attached that they miss this place when they leave it.”

Describe your typical day here.

“We have a wake-up call at 6:30 a.m. By 7 o’clock, we are taking breakfast na until 7:30. After that, we have an hour of quiet time when we read The Bible. Then, we do our respective chores. Sometimes, I am assigned to clean the bathroom. Today, I waxed and scrubbed the floor. We take a shower and have our serenity lessons. There are SODs (Staff On Duty) to guide us. After lunch, we take a siesta from 1 to 2 p.m. Then, we have more lessons, then merienda, and more lessons, then we have physical fitness. It’s like going to school. At night, we do some wrap-up…what we’ve done during the day…and then dinner. Lights off at 10 o’clock when we go to bed. We cook our own food and we wash our own clothes. We have our family day twice a month when we are allowed to accept visitors. Mine are usually my mom and my siblings.”

How many students are here?

“When we were at a smaller place in Mandaluyong, there were 15 of us. This place is bigger and it can accommodate 30. There are all kinds of addicts here — computer addicts, drug addicts, gambling addicts. There are three of us alcohol addicts. We learn from each other, tanggap namin kung anuman ang mga ugali namin. We respect each other because even if we are addicts, we should also be treated with respect like anybody else.”

Do you think of showbiz while you are here?

The batingting that wakes up Baron and other residents at 6:30 every morning.

“I miss showbiz, all right, but I try to divert my mind from it so I can concentrate on the programs here. I was thinking na sana I addressed my problem sooner at nang hindi nasira ang career ko. But then, as they say, things happen for a reason and it’s never too late to change. With the help of God, I know that things will turn out right and I will go back to work a changed man. I really hope to work again. Maybe I should stay away from kontrabida roles muna so that people will not be reminded of the ‘old me’.”

Name some of the lessons that you have learned here.

“I learned that addiction is just a symptom of a deeper problem that we have to address — at once!”

You lost your father and your house got burned twice. Did those incidents worsen the “deeper problem” that you just mentioned?

“They did, definitely! I was full of anger, guilt and shame, but I kept things inside me. I thought I could find comfort in alcohol but I was wrong. I blamed other people for what was happening to me and my life, I was blaming everybody but myself. I realized now that I wasn’t able to handle so many things when I was a kid. I advise people in the same situation as I was na huwag nila takbuhan ang mga problema nila, harapin nila, huwag silang mahiya. They should accept that bthey have problems and that there’s hope. With God, you can never go wrong. I also realized that I couldn’t handle things by myself. Dito, I also learned to submit to authority.”

After the interview, Baron took us on a quick tour of the house, showing us the dining room, one of the bedrooms where he sleeps on top of the three double-decked beds, the garden at the back, the music room which has yet to be fixed (remember, the house has just been moved in), the workout area, etc.

Before bidding Baron goodbye, we asked what else has changed in him.

“I have forgiven myself,” he said, still with a smile, “and I’m thankful to PAMI and all the people whom I might have offended. I am here because of them. Everything that I do now is God’s will. I’m not accountable to people anymore; I am accountable only to God. I have accepted my mistakes and, as I’ve said, I have forgiven myself. I just want to move on.”

(Note: For more on Baron Geisler, tune in to Startalk tomorrow, April 30, on GMA after Eat, Bulaga!. And those who want to inquire about Penuel House may call Tony de la Paz at landline 722-5389.)

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