Who wants to sit at the Senate hot seat?

The august halls of the Philippine Senate used to be my playground as a child when the Upper and Lower houses were still in the old Legislative Building in Manila. However, I confined myself to the gallery section where I did not get in the way of the proceedings. I could be let loose there since I always observed proper decorum even as a kid.

What was I doing there? Waiting for Momma.

My mother may no longer be in the pinkest of health today, but she used to be an energetic lawyer and was part of a legal staff that determined if those bills being filed by senators and congressmen were constitutional or not.

Even then there were already lawmakers who obviously were clueless on how to perform their tasks as elected leaders. But they’ve always freely helped themselves to their pork barrels.

From where I sat at the old Senate Hall I saw how bored some of the legislators were during the marathon hearings. Most of them dozed off.

But I never witnessed how a few of these supposedly respectable men relieved themselves right where they were positioned — too lazy to walk to the bathroom to answer nature’s call. Old congress employees may still remember that. I also heard from them who among the starlets (some are still around — already wrinkled, of course) became mistresses of politicians.

There were sessions that lasted till almost midnight and I’d sleep in the car — still waiting for Momma.

One time, I became so restless that when she went up to check on me, I threw a tantrum. I cried quietly so that I didn’t cause any distraction. She said the session would be adjourned in an hour. I had no way yet of telling time and that seemed like an eternity to me.

When we got home that night, I finally let go of all repressed emotions and had a good hardy cry. I got it from mother. No, she never spanked us. She only yelled. That hurt more. I hated the Senate halls from that time on and never tagged along anymore.

In 1993, I found myself in the same familiar building, but I was no longer banished to the gallery section. Instead I was given a prominent seat with a microphone before me.

This was the time when local entertainers were being investigated for flying to Brunei and reportedly providing a special kind of entertainment in that tiny oil-rich kingdom.

To this day, I have no idea why I was summoned to that hearing in the first place. No one would have been interested in my services — not here and not in Brunei. Did they think I was a pimp? I swear to this day, I’ve never been to Brunei.

Since the letter stated that I had to be there, I dutifully went and wore a crisp barong Tagalog. In the middle of the hearing, I noticed that the discussion was getting derailed since most of the senators were not clear on the nuances and basic system in local showbiz. They have their world and we have our own culture outsiders would never understand.

In my attempt to bring the hearing back on track I raised my hand to point out that there were practices in showbiz that most legislators were not aware of — and they had to be one of us to be able to have a firm grasp of what we do in our profession.

A male senator snapped at me for interrupting him. He went on and on to berate me when all along I was trying to save him from looking even more ignorant in the eyes of the showbiz people. It was humiliating. I never felt so small in my entire life.

Mercifully, the late Sen. Raul Roco intervened because he sensed my intention and was also aware that the hearing was going nowhere. To this day, I pray for the repose of the good senator’s soul.

The senatorial investigations are now held in the new Senate Building off Roxas Blvd. The venue may have changed, but it is still a circus there.

In the wake of Secretary Angelo Reyes’ tragic death, Sen. Gringo Honasan had suggested that investigations be kept private. No, I am not for that. Those are public hearings and the public has the right to know.

What needs to be changed is how the senators behave during these hearings. I will not touch on the investigations being conducted regarding the pabaon for generals because that is a very sensitive issue at the moment — given the fact that Secretary Reyes’ remains are still lying in state as I write this.

However, I have to point out how some elected officials embarrass even those small technical people who are sent by their respective offices when there are anomalies that need to be investigated within the bureaucratic system.

Most of the time, those functionaries are just there to assist and explain technical details and translate these into layman’s terms. Majority of them, unfortunately, are unnecessarily bullied by some know-it-all official in the process and I can imagine how some of these professionals leave the Senate Hall with their heads bowed and come home amid snickering from neighbors who witnessed their humiliation in the primetime news. A lot of those people usually have M.A.’s and even doctorate degrees and are far educated than some of out senators who pretend that they know better.

While I agree with Sen. Honasan that there should be changes, all these should begin from among their ranks. Stop the grandstanding at the taxpayers’ expense. Before they could unnecessarily bully anyone of us again, they should be reminded that we pay for their upkeep.