The father that I never saw

“It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.”  — Johann Schiller

It is not unknown to everybody that I grew up without my biological father. The moment I gained consciousness, I never got the chance to hold his hand nor get a glimpse of his face. Based on my mother’s stories, he is an Indian national named Vincent Raj. I believe he is an architect.

Many people are asking me if I hated my father for abandoning me and for not supporting me. I would like everybody to know that my father never abandoned me. He wanted to keep me and take care of me. But since I had older sisters left in the Philippines, my mother declined my father’s offer to live in India and start a new family. I was brought to the Philippines where I had to live a life without my real father.

My father did not stop supporting me. I was told that he would send letters and milk products to me when I was a child. He also sent his pictures, most of which saw him wearing sunglasses so I was not able to recognize him. It was just unfortunate that I lost those pictures when a strong typhoon struck Bicol. But when he stopped doing all these things, I just made myself believe that maybe he already had a family. I longed for my father since I was a child. I admit that I would google his name and search for it on Facebook. I would send messages to people who have the same name as he does but most of them responded that they were not the person I was looking for. Celine Dion’s Dance with my Father would be my anthem whenever I would think of him. There is sadness in me whenever I would realize that I am not with my biological father.

I believe that when God takes away something from you, He gives you something better. I may not have grown with my real father but I am very lucky to have Papa Poldo, my stepfather. He treated me like his own daughter. He would ask me to sit on his lap while he taught me how to read and write. He was very patient. He never got tired of teaching me. My longing for my real father was somehow lessened because of Papa Poldo. He was a source of inspiration for me because he wholeheartedly accepted us as his new family even though we are not related by blood. I saw how my mother gathered her strength from Papa. He was her partner in all the trying times in our life. Both of them witnessed every experience I had; from my first heartbreak to the moment when I was crowned Miss Universe 2010 fourth runner-up. I felt I had a complete family because of their love for me.

Since my teenage years, I have already accepted the fact that I will not be with my real father anymore. I am more than happy that I have a genuine family with me back in Bicol. My stepfather is more than a true father to me. I would not feel bad even if I don’t get the chance to meet Mr. Vincent Raj because God blessed me with a better father. Papa Poldo has shown me that fatherly love and care exists even without blood relations. I will always be thankful for his selfless acts that made me who I am right now. I am truly proud to be his real daughter.

You have done more than enough for me, Pa and I want to give back everything you and Mama have sacrificed for me. Thank you for making me stronger and wiser. You are the best father in the world.