Settling grudges

Raised in very traditional Catholic ways, I’ve always been wary of other organized religions. But I’m not necessarily hostile to people of different faiths. My late maternal grandmother belonged to the Philippine Independent Church. All my prayer warriors are from the different born-again movements and I also have some Muslim friends. Middle of last year, I had the pleasure of working with some of the most professional people on TV — the Spoon staff of the Net 25 that is owned by Iglesia ni Cristo.

I know very little about Kabbalah and am not sure if it’s a religion. All I know is that it is being practiced by the likes of Madonna, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. I had not given it much thought — until I got a letter from Ria Tanjuatco-Trillo, Kabbalah Philippines Study Group Leader, informing me about an event they are soon holding.

According to their PR head Rosan Cruz, Yehuda Berg, leading authority and a teacher of Kabbalah is coming to Manila to give a talk at the Rockwell Tent on Jan. 18 at 7 p.m. and it is going to be a free lecture on how our consciousness and actions can shape the quality of our lives and the condition of our world. All you have to do is register and you might as well do that now if you are interested because seating is limited. To register, e-mail [email protected] or call 0920-9029008. For more information, log on to www.yehudaberg.com. Berg will also be bringing with him his latest book The Power to Change Everything that will be available in Fully Booked.

I don’t know if fate is telling me to join this event because the organizers wanted me to meet up with Pinky Amador to tell me more about Kabbalah. Pinky Amador? I know her and was (past tense) very fond of her.

We met in 2002 on the set of Startalk where she sought public attention regarding the condominium unit she bought from a developer who still had to settle legal problems with a local bank. Poor Pinky had paid for the property with her hard-earned money (she had to dance in a cage every night when she was still doing Miss Saigon in London), but got caught in the middle of that legal tussle.

Since she was the victim here, I volunteered to help her make more noise by interviewing her for this paper. From the studio, I invited her to have coffee at Figaro where she gave me details of the story.

I don’t know if I was of any help at all, but in the end, she got her money back, but lost around P200,000 because she already had spent for renovation. This I find uncanny, but the couple who eventually got her unit (the wife had an aunt who was a former official of the bank and had helped expedite things for them) turned out to be very dear friends of mine and I only learned about this purchase when they were doing their own renovation (all of Pinky’s designs had to be changed to suit their taste).

Somewhere along the way, Pinky had volunteered to help me deal with a company where she used to be connected, but I’m not elaborating on this anymore because it can be laborious to detail in this column. To make it short, I needed a favor from her — although that favor I could also have asked from other friends.

Upon her instructions, I went to her place in Makati and left at the lobby of her building the requirements along with bibingka as a little token. When I called her up, she acknowledged that she received the papers and thanked me for the rice cake and told me to follow up in several weeks what I needed from the company. I did as told, but when I got there, the clerk informed me that Pinky never filed anything for processing and that put me in a very awkward situation. Eventually, it was another friend who did the favor for me.

After that, there was another incident between us that I felt she handled badly, except that it’s too long a story to tell.

Fast forward to 2008, she plugged a show in Startalk, went up to me, but I wasn’t as warm anymore. But I was civil. I also felt it was time I let go of my resentment. When she asked me for my new number, in fact, I gave it to her.

About a year later, I got a text message from her while I was working out in Gold’s Intercon and she was asking me to write about her new play on the life of Edith Burgos, widow of crusader Joe. Since I love the Burgoses, I said yes and asked her via text to provide me with info.

I wrote the article based on how I knew Mrs. Burgos and just waited for her to text me back the title of the show, the playdates, etc. It was a finished story and all I had to do was fill in all the missing info. But she never got back to me and I threw away that column.

And so that is my story with Pinky.

When I told Rosan Cruz my problem with Pinky, she suggested another name: Jay Aquitania, another Kabbalah practitioner. Good heavens, are the people I resent starting to organize into a group to torment me? I also have issues with Jay.

Since he did all those indie movies, I’ve always praised him for his performances in this column because he is a brilliant young actor. However, I don’t expect him to seek me out to thank me because that is my job as a reviewer. But the thing is, whenever we would see each other in the studio, he would just look through me like I wasn’t there. Now, I am taking issues with that because he doesn’t have manners. I’m the older one and I expect the young showbiz generation to be the first to say hello to me because that was what I did when I was new in the profession — and to this day I get up to pay my respects to those older than me. Yes, I give even Madame Auring that courtesy.

In return I expect that from Jay and the young people because we need order in this world. Why can’t he learn from older brother Antonio, who had always been so polite from the time he started in showbiz? By the way, other press people also have that negative impression of Jay and I can present them to you if you want, but why get into that?

Ironically, I was able to forgive people who had hurt me big-time in the past, but strangely I dwell on petty offenses done to me. That much oddity I acknowledge and this is the reason why I am still giving Pinky this space to talk about Kabbalah. I know I (or maybe you, dear readers) may learn from this and I hope to change my ways through this practice and so here’s my Q & A with Pinky:

What is Kabbalah?

Kabbalah for me is a spiritual technology. It gives you knowledge about the laws of the universe and can help you transform into the best “version” of yourself. Kabbalah provides a system for understanding the universe and gives a structured framework to remove the randomness and chaos.

Is it a religion?

Kabbalah is not a religion. Kabbalah is a universal wisdom that can be applied by anyone anywhere. In the same way the laws of gravity are universal, the universal principles presented in Kabbalistic wisdom apply to everyone, regardless of age, race, or belief. If you chose to ignore the law of gravity, you can experience chaos in your life. The same effect happens if you ignore the spiritual laws of the universe.

Why is it so popular in Hollywood?

Kabbalah is popular everywhere, but we mostly hear about the celebrities studying it. There are millions of other students connecting and changing their lives and the world through their study. One concept Kabbalah students embrace is to live without judgment and without agenda. In a life where people constantly pursue you because they want something from you, it is refreshing to find a community where people only want to give and share.

How will it help people in show business?

Kabbalah empowers people to take responsibility for their lives through learning the laws of cause and effect. Being aware of this principle shows us how powerful each thought and action is, making every decision more meaningful. Show business can sometimes be shallow and empty. Kabbalah brings meaning and fulfillment to each decision, as it is a seed for the future.

Who will need it the most and please rank: People from TV, people from the movies, people from the theater.

It can be very helpful to people in entertainment because a lot of the wisdom makes one discover how our “ego” is always playing tricks on us and is the root of all chaos. We don’t need to go further about egos and showbiz personalities. Everyone can gain from it if they truly want to change.

In your view, how has Kabbalah changed Madonna?

I don’t know her personally, but I’ve seen her in the Kabbalah Center in London twice. I know and attend classes with her teacher, Eitan Yardeni. I can only surmise from watching her back stage documentaries, that she is a very compassionate producer and acts like a mother towards her dancers and truly cares about her staff, but it would be a disservice to speak on her behalf (or anyone else’s) so all I know is what I’ve seen on video. It is also a fact that she has been able to accomplish many things in her career, overcome challenges and she has several humanitarian projects like Raising Malawi to help children in Africa.

What concrete benefits can you cite since you have started practicing Kabbalah?

I am still learning every day: To be more humble, open, compassionate, patient. It’s hard to be made an example of, when I am just a student trying to learn what I can, but I have experienced in my life some small miracles that I never thought possible before. “Difficult” relationships have had breakthroughs, I am less worried about “small things.” I used to be so OC. I forgive much easier and happier with my lot. I am in a very loving relationship at the moment. Work-wise, I am less stressed and have been getting more challenging and better roles and basically just enjoying my life with added certainty that all will be well and it’s only what you overcome (not what you achieve) that really matters.

I hope you don’t get offended, how come since the time we met personally in 2002 I liked you better than… I was fonder of you then compared to now that you are practicing Kabbalah.

This is a constant process of growth and change. Often when we are working on ourselves, a lot of negativity comes up as it gives us the opportunity to remove it. I still have a long way to go and you are seeing me in the middle of my process. Just wait until the end result.

How do you think this will help another Kabbalah practitioner like Jay Aquitania who seems so indifferent? Will this teach him courtesy and politeness?

Kabbalah can only help people to the extent they are willing to go with this. The openness that Jay has is a beautiful thing.

Obviously, I am the type who harbors grudges. How do you think practicing Kabbalah could help me?

It could help one let go of these negative energies to make way for more positive ones (but I never thought of you in that manner as you have always been especially gracious, generous and caring). It’s all a journey di ba? Also, Kabbalah can help if you desire to change. If there is no desire to change, then I would not recommend a path here.

 P.S. As I suspected, Pinky was clueless about how I felt — and that she had offended me. I may not be able to attend the Kabbalah event, but merely reading Pinky’s positive answers to my questions already taught me that there is more to life than harboring grudges. Surely, I can’t transform myself overnight, but I will try to change — for the better. Thank you, Pinky for being instrumental in my wanting now to have a more positive outlook in life.

 As for Jay Aquitania, learn your manners, kid! Oops, was that too harsh? Sorry, I’m still into my baby steps. But I’m learning.