Thank heavens for Jon Santos

You know what we need in dreary times like this when we are bombarded non-stop with disheartening stories about the recession, presidentiables scrambling over one another for the spotlight, traffic jams, natural calamities spawned by global warming, soaring prices and the shrinking value of the peso, the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, and the powers-that-be gorging on million-peso dinners while hundreds are reported to be going hungry...you know what we need? Time to exhale, an outlet for pent-up emotions, time out from stress, a break where we can laugh at the celebrities who unwittingly make themselves objects of, that’s it, fun and laughter.

Thank heavens for Jon Santos.

Last Saturday night on his show For Voters or For Worse, Jon did impeccable impersonations of Kuring, Gluring, Syerrap and Dyuning, and for two hours the Teatrino in Greenhills shook with the laughter of the SRO audience. What a great relief it was!

The multi-talented Jon spoofed the wedding preparation of Kuring and her beloved Mar Ramdamin and he must have done last-minute script updating for it to be relevant to current development on the political scene when a presidentiable backed out of the race in favor of another.

Jon’s Gluring was carbon-copy of somebody we know, complete to the prominent mole and the nasal accent, materializing onstage like a midget (thanks to a cleverly-done prop).

With an exaggerated hairdo and a bloated middle, his Syerrap was faithful to his prototype, from the labored way he talks to his manner of walking, legs part apart because, said Syerrap, “iniiwasan ko ang itlog dahil mataas ang cholesterol n’un.” Got the joke?

Dyuning was something else. She’s dressed in outlandish dance costume while recalling her Cinderella-like rise to popularity, showing how she has advanced from a poor girl dancing the Maglalatik to a pa-sophisticated Spanish señorita doing a Latin dance, hahahahaha, latik-style with macho DI’s as partners.

In film clips, Jon was shown in his other “alter-egos,” including the garrulous senator who claimed that she’s so brainy she’s even named after the dictionary; a former First Lady pining for lost glory, holding back tears as she tossed shoes after shoes after shoes; and a few other personalities familiar to you and me.

I advise Kuring, Gluring, Syerrap, Dyuning and their tribe to have a sense of humor if ever they dare to watch Jon’s show and not to be onion-skinned. Or they can go in disguise and see for themselves how the public sees them and laugh at themselves if they can.

Jon’s guest Willie Nepomuceno, pedalling into centerstage on a tricycle, was as “bland” as Mar Ramdamin in the TV commercial, unable to show passion and/or emotion even with Kuring coaching — nay, nagging — him to do it.

The punchlines came after Jon took a bow. A staffer sat behind a mock-up COMELEC table sorting out applications for candidacy in the 2010 presidentiable race with Jon going over them rattling off “slogans” for the “probables.” Sample: NOLI. Newscaster Okay; Leader, Inay!

Again, thank you, Jon for taking our minds away from the direness of dirual life even for only two hours.

Watch Jon’s show and have a good laugh.

(Note: Two repeats are scheduled on Sept. 18 and 19, still at Teatrino.)

And thank you, too, Patti Page

The next night, my friends and I were at the Araneta Coliseum for a nostalgic date with Patti Page who, already into her 80s, looked as glamorous as ever (even if she said she was recuperating from a recent back surgery) and sounded almost like the way she did during her heyday years ago.

The audience, composed mostly of senior citizens, once again thrilled to the Patti Page songs, with her medley of her hits (Tennessee Waltz, How Much Is That Doggie In the Window, Changing Partners, etc.) getting the biggest applause.

The feeling of nostalgia was heightened by the film clips showing Page at her prime, so queenly and so beautiful that, according to the gracious grandma behind us, “Mukha siyang Miss Universe!”

Good show, Patti Page!

Jet lag and all (she flew in from San Diego, California, on Thursday, flew to Cebu for her first show the next day and rushed back to Manila Sunday morning for her Big Dome show), Page showed the kind of energy that only a great veteran like her can.

“At 80-plus,” said Luz Valdez who was seated beside us, “ang husay-husay pa rin niya. Wala siyang kupas!”

(E-mail reactions at [email protected] or at [email protected])