Nothing beats being a good mother

MANILA, Philippines - A lot of people have asked me which of my “jobs” is most difficult: Being an actress, a politician or a mother? My answer has always been the same: Nothing beats being a good mother. For one, it is very time-consuming. And more importantly, it is such a daunting responsibility to take care of children who depend on you for their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Despite its challenges, however, motherhood remains my greatest source of joy and achievement. Nothing is more rewarding than seeing your children go out into the world and make something of themselves.

Now, we all know it is not enough that we feed, clothe and provide education to our children. As mothers, we know that there are more important considerations: Are we giving them the right food? Are we providing them with an environment that is conducive to learning?

I don’t claim to be an expert. What I know about being a mother was learned through years of hands-on experience. I also keep an open mind when it comes to advice from other mothers and, of course, I listen to my children. 

So, allow me to share with you, my fellow moms, some very practical parenting tips that I learned while raising my two sons. I hope that these would be helpful to you, too.

Prepare nutritious food. Keep your children alert and protect them from sickness by making sure they eat the right food. Use the 3Gs — Go, Grow and Glow — as a guide in preparing meals. “Go foods” like rice and bread are energy-giving foods; they give kids the physical and mental strength they need in school or at play. “Grow foods” like fish and meat, on the other hand, help build strong bones and aid muscle development. “Glow foods” are fruits and vegetables. They are rich in vitamins and minerals that reinforce our resistance against illnesses.

To make sure your kids get the complete nutrients they need, give them milk everyday. Milk, as our own mothers have taught us, is a complete meal in itself. Also, milk is rich in nutrients that help optimize our children’s growth and development.

Support them in their studies. Most of us are working moms. With our schedules packed with office deadlines and home-related activities, we sometimes fail to check on our kids’ schoolwork. Take time to ask about their school activities or projects. Find out if they are having problems with any of their subjects. This way, we help ease their burdens in school and make them realize school can actually be fun. If they think this way, they will do better in school.

Be more understanding. It is normal for kids to throw tantrums or have mood swings. Be patient when they are giving you a hard time. Be kind and sympathetic. Remember, you were also a kid once. Sometimes, these mood swings are their way of getting our attention. Also, try to treat your children as friends. Have regular bonding time with them. During their growing up years, it is important that they feel loved and well taken care of.

Commend good behavior. Don’t hesitate to praise your child especially when he has done something good like helping you with chores or getting high marks in school. A parent’s affirmation of a child’s hard work is a powerful motivation for that child to keep doing his best. However, don’t bribe your child when you want him to do something. Giving bribes will only teach him to be selfish and hinder his ability to take the initiative.

Help him develop self-esteem. We all want our children to grow up as independent, self-reliant individuals. But these traits are not acquired overnight. To help them develop self-confidence, we have to be attentive to their likes and dislikes, the things they enjoy doing and where they actually excel. Join them at play. Support them as they hone their skills, whether in the arts or academics.

Let them make small or simple decisions on their own, like choosing clothes they want to wear. If you think their choice is not good enough, don’t berate or criticize them. Instead, give them advice without sounding like a know-it-all or condescending as this could make them feel inferior.

Raising a child is a 24/7 job. Yes, it is hard work. But as I’ve mentioned earlier, it is also the most fulfilling thing in the world and worth every back pain or headache.