Lorli still has what it takes

Curtain-raisers:

•  To avoid tongues from wagging, the concerned mom of a pretty, young actress had advised her against going to the pad of a popular actor who is actually just her friend and not her boyfriend as rumored. “Hindi sila talo,” said somebody who know them well. Instead, the mom told the guy to do his and the daughter’s “bonding” at their home where, as “bonus,” she cooks mouth-watering goodies for them. As they say, the best way to a man’s heart...

•  There’s nothing wrong with seeking some “enhancing” treatments (you know, “Salamat po, duktor!”) to arrest the inevitable aging process. But you should be very careful and think a hundred times before trying to lose even an inch or a pound of unwanted flesh. Look what happened to a “beauty” expert. She went into a starvation diet and did yoga for spiritual “uplifting” and guess what happened. She suffered from an ailment that turned her (actually pretty) face bloated. She’s now recuperating somewhere, far from the inquisitive crowd.

•  It must be true that something beautiful is indeed going on between a sexy actress and, well, somebody who is a superstar in his field, even if the actress has been denying it to death. The other night, a Funfare “roving eye” saw them at a hotel/casino in Malate, Manila. While the guy was playing poker, the actress stood beside and behind him, giving his shoulder and his back a “good luck” massage.

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So whatever happened to Lorli Villanueva, the award-winning actress (Oro Plata Mata, Bayan Ko: Kapit Sa Patalim) more popularly known as “Maxima Labandera” of Calle Onse (an ad for Ajax)? Lorli has been in New York for years. There, she’s known as Prof. Lorli Dimaala, deputy chair for the Graduate Program in Education & Special Education at Touro College in Manhattan.

Funfare’s Big Apple correspondent Edmund Silvestre reports that Lorli recently had a concert at Don’t Tell Mama, one of the famous cabaret clubs in Manhattan’s theater district.

“It was a hilarious hit,” said Edmund. “Lorli captivated the crowd with her lovely, husky voice, and electrifying stage presence. She was really a revelation. But what’s more surprising was how Lorli managed to pack the venue to the delight of the club owners.”

Here’s what New York writer and educator Timothy D. Bellavia has to say about Lorli’s show:

In an age of self-important divas, Lorli Villanueva reminded us that the finest of singers serve the song, not the ego.

While still primarily an award-winning Filipino actress, Villanueva added shades of pop — but without a whit of sellout. Her 10 plus-song cabaret style performance was staged at the famed Don’t Tell Mama in the heart of Manhattan theater district, with special guest Miguel Braganza.

Villanueva showed that she can belt out a tune just like the phalanx of acrobatic note-holders out there, but it’s her ability to mine the subtleties of a song, the quiet reflections and actual phrasing that make her a gifted singer (as well as a dramatic actress).

Although not a songwriter, Villanueva is a skilled interpreter. Several times, she made sure to credit songwriters, as with Both Sides Now, written by the legendary Joni Mitchell and songwriters Richard Rogers and Lorenz Hart with a blend of tradition and modern style, and her special rendition of La Vie En Rose with English lyrics by Mack David and Filipino translation (Kulay Rosas) by Jose “Pete” Lacaba.

In the tracks of her debut CD, Reminiscence, Villanueva finds truths for every woman and every man who is searching for love or recovering from loss. Not a rail-thin movie star, she shatters the supermodel hype and image, because she’s a glamorous yet regular woman, with an incredible voice.

Added Edmund, “Lorli will donate proceeds of her new CD to Asilo de Molo, home of the elderly (many of them abandoned) in Iloilo.”

Lorli told Edmund, “I kept my promise to share my music, and give back to the sick and needy elderly in Asilo de Molo. I will stage a similar benefit concert in Iloilo City later this year.”

Pinoy wit and humor in signs

It’s easy to see how witty and humorous Pinoys can be. Simply look around and you can see them in the signs, such as the following listed for Funfare by a reader (who calls him/herself “bambiC”):

• A parlor in San Juan: Cut & Face

• A wholesaler of balut in Sto. Tomas, Batangas: Starduck

• A small Internet café: Cafe Pindot

• A laundry in Manila: Summa Cum Laundry

• A noodle restaurant in Pampanga: Mekeni Rogers

• A restaurant in Pasig: Johnny’s Fried Chicken, The “Fried” of Marikina

• A boxing gym in Taguig: Blow Jab

• A tombstone maker in Antipolo: Lito Lapida

• A copy center in Sikatuna Village, Quezon City: Pakopya ni Edgar

• A kambingan: Sa Goat Kita

• A salon somewhere: Curl Up And Dye

• A store selling feeds for chicken along Sucat Road: Robocock

• A shoe repair in Marikina: Dr. Shoe-Bago

• A shoe repair shop along Commonwealth Avenue, Quezon City: SHOEPERMAN (We will HEEL you, save your SOLE, and even DYE for you)

• A petshop: Petness First

• A flower shop: Susan’s Roses

• A taxicab: Income Taxi

• A second-hand watch store: 2nd Time Around

• A squid stall in a wet market: Pusit to the Limit

• A lawyer’s extension office: Nota Republic

• A ceiling installer: Kisame Street

• A car-repair shop: Bangga ka ‘day!

• An aquatic pet store in Malolos: Fish Be With You

• A fishball cart along P. Campa St., near UST: Eat My Balls

• A barber shop in Cagayan de Oro: Pinoy Big Barber

• A resto in Baclaran: The Last Supper

• A party-needs business: Balloon-Balloonan

• A Chinese restaurant in Pasig: Lah-Fang

• A store selling fresh chicken, apparently owned by a woman named Dina: Dina Fresh Chicken

• A Hair Salon in Makati: Hair We Go Again

(Note from your columnist: And if ever Regal Matriarch Mother Lily Monteverde went into the water-purifying business, how would she call it? Ano pa, eh, di Water Lily! Hahahahaha!)

What’s up?

Fr. Joey Faller’s healing Mass at the Metropolitan Hospital on Friday, Aug. 28, has been canceled. Fr. Joey is indisposed. The regular once-a-month healing Mass will be resumed on Sept. 25, Friday, 7 p.m.

(E-mail reactions at [email protected] or at [email protected])