The Shrimpsons in London

(Part 2)

That Good Friday, April 10, The Shrimpsons started that still chilly morning by taking The Big Bus sightseeing tour including a cruise along the River Thames. Of course we all sat on the top deck. But ngek! the “vlady” rain came again (mas madugo ang “vlady” sa “bloody” dahil nickname na ito ni Dracula)! But no “high blood” please — the tour’s always ready with those free plastic raincoats — not the Aquascutum brand, but enough to protectum usum frum aqua. So the whole time, we stayed on the “top deck” of any situation.

We visited and made stops in the usual famous London spots and landmarks like the Trafalgar Square, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace and many others. I’ve been in this part of the world twice before — the first one was when Vic Sotto won a golf tournament and was given the privilege to visit and play at St. Andrews in Scotland, the birthplace of golf. Bossing Vic was accompanied by Eat, Bulaga! Bossman Tony Tuviera and this writer as the busboy! We even visited the Royal Courses of Gleneagles. The last hole in that trip was a visit to London.

The second London trip was a more memorable one. I celebrated my 50th birthday there with my wife Eileen and some friends by flying supersonically via the Concorde from New York to London, stayed at Hotel Savoy for a few days then took the Queen Elizabeth (QE 2) cruising back to the Big Apple.

But on this particular trip, I could not help but notice that some stores and shops have “simplified” their names. For instance, there’s this chain of restaurants called “EAT.”. That’s it — E-A-T, then a period. Period!

The coffee shop of the huge National Geographic along Regent Street is simply named “Café”. Siguro, naisip ko, napagod na sa kaiisip ang mga taga-National Geographic.

And that big store along Oxford Street which sells a mountain of shoes is just called “Schuh.” Shoesmaryosep!

And inside the Windsor Royal Shopping, on the way to the Windsor Castle, you’ll find a ready-to-heat and eat food shop and guess what the sign outside says? “COOK.” — ganun lang — C-O-O-K, then a period. Period again!

But there’s one that advertises “BOOTS” — but I could not find even a piece of shoe. Anak ng footwear! When I entered, all I saw were toiletries and medicine. Ngek, drugstore pala!

But one of the funniest I’ve seen in this cold and chilly (bakit ‘yung iba HOT CHILI? That’s also funny) trip was a pub called The Three Kings. Fixed on top of the establishment were three great figures and personalities — Charles The First, Henry The Eighth and Elvis Presley!

Now going back to our wet trip — all the kids agreed and wanted to see Stonehenge. Puro kasi naloloko sa photography. My boys became disciples of the late Francis Magalona in camera and computer matters during the great rapper’s last years.

But my boys also had other things in mind — like going to Wimbledon, which they did one day without our knowledge and permission. They also wanted to take a poke at London’s Eye which we all did. As for me, I just had a simple wish which my good travel buddy Danee Samonte did ahead of me — I just wanted to cross a street in London — the Abbey Road. And yes, I did it in the afternoon of April 12. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Kwela nga pagdating namin — ang mga tao parang sira mga ulo — tawiran nang tawiran, balikan nang balikan habang kodakan nang kodakan. And you’ll be surprised, the motorists were just patiently waiting.

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross Abbey Road in a carpenter’s suit? Because she wanted her eggs to BE TOOLS!

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross Abbey Road while keeping all her eggs behind? Because she wanted her eggs to BE TAILS!

QUESTION: What are the names of the four eggs of the chicken who crossed Abbey Road? John LEGHORN, Ringo EGG-STAR (pwede ring Ringo EGGS-trellado), George HARRISSON-NY SIDE UP and POUL-McCar-TRY!

QUESTION: What is the name of the band of the four eggs from Liverpoultry? “THE BEATENS”

QUESTION: What is the favorite song of the THE BEATENS? “OMELET IT BE!”

QUESTION: What is their other favorite song? “ITLOG AND WINDING ROAD!”

Meanwhile, in the long and winding tour of the Tower of London, and because it was wet and slippery in some areas, my daughter Jocas suddenly slipped in one of the stair connections. She was walking before me so I saw everything that happened. She slipped from landing to landing — mabuti na lang at mababa lang, but I saw her hitting all the treads and risers of all the five steps, I think. But we forgot to really worry, because while she was slipping and sliding, she seemed not to mind about her head and back. Instead, she raised and stretched her right arm upwards to the max to protect her new Stephen Sprouse monogram roses bag.

(To the tune of “IF I FELL” by the Beatles)

If I fell I promise you —

I’d save nothing but the new,

The new bag given by Dad

I don’t care about my head

Or my back, my butt, my legs

You’re safe in my hands.

(TO BE CONTINUED)