Making your list of who to give gifts to? Read this first

Well, as Dear Michael J would remind us this season of the year, don’t you wish you could give more than just presents from a store?

Okay but before you sit down to make your annual list of what to give who (better to start early than trying to beat the 25th hour), Funfare would like to give you some unsolicited but nevertheless helpful and useful pointers/reminders that should save you from getting into embarrassing moments, as red-faced as Dear Santa who, I heard, is still going around soliciting funds to buy gifts. Yes, despite the economic pinch, the Fat Guy will hopefully arrive on time with his own list of who’s naughty and who’s nice. So, you better watch out!

Anyway, here’s what you should take careful note of:

• Make your long-feuding friends exchange gifts without their intending to nor being aware of it. I did exactly that (what I thought was a good deed) a few years ago to two friends who were mortal enemies for ages, actually former good friends who turned bitter foes, thus making it hard for their other friends (this one included) to stay “neutral.” The rule is never to take sides, or else when the warring friends kiss and make up, you end up being their unwilling enemy.

So how did I make them, aha, exchange gifts?

That Christmas years ago, the two women gave me gifts (I cannot reveal what the items were without revealing this long-kept secret of mine). I rewrapped the gifts, pasted new cards at the lower left side of the boxes and wrote very meaningful messages befitting the season of love and joy and, yes, forgiveness. Voila, exchange gifts! The item from Lady A went to Lady B and vice-versa — and they both thanked me profusely for the beautiful items they said I thoughtfully picked out for them. If they only knew!

• Recycle but be careful. It’s perfectly all right to recycle gifts because, let’s admit it, oftentimes the gifts that we receive are far better — and more expensive — than the gifts we plan to give our friends and loved ones. Why suffer the Christmas rush in crowded malls when you can … recycle? Be careful that you don’t give the same item given to you years ago by the person you are now thinking of giving it to. My journalist-friend once got a book from his actress-friend and imagine how pleasantly surprised he was when he discovered that it was the same book the actress borrowed from him but never returned!

• Check the boxes and make sure that there are no cards inside. Four years ago, I got a gift (wow, Grey Flannel cologne, no less!) from a friend who’s my namesake. The card inside said, “Dear Ricky…” But the gift came from somebody I didn’t expect to give me anything, not even a piece of leftover fruitcake, because she hated me like mad at that time. Did I sense a sign from Up There when I read the name of the giver who knew that Grey Flannel was “the other Ricky’s” favorite scent and not “this Ricky’s?” It was a merry mix-up. Cool, wasn’t it? Up to now, “the other Ricky” (not to worry, I have a hundred friends also named Ricky) didn’t know that he forgot to remove the old card inside the box.

• Important: Check items like “personalized” ballpens, cuff links, wallets, mugs and even table calendars. These items, exclusively intended for you (kaya nga personalized, eh) may not be given away unless the one you might give them to (and who might want them so badly) doesn’t mind. One time, I gave a pair of gold-plated cuff links to a VIP and was my face red when he called to thank me, adding, “But don’t you think you need it more than I do? You have your initials on them!” Aray ko po! Those cuff links were given to me by another VIP but I never used them (too attractive, you know); I forgot, though, that my initials were on it. I don’t remember now how I was able to extricate myself from that embarrassing situation.

• Yes, the calendars. Before you give them away, double-check the dates so you won’t be giving away in Year 2007 calendars circa Year 2005! It happened to a group of movie writers three Christmases ago and the “culprit” was the politician-son of a government official. His explanation? He did plan to give away the calendars the previous year yet but he never had the chance to meet the writers. Better late than never? Maybe in other cases but not with calendars (no matter how expensive-looking they might be).

• And the perishables. Check expiration dates of especially bottled (medicines, fruit drinks, even moisturizers) and canned (sardines, etc.) goods. If cooked (such as adobo, suman, embotido, pansit which spoils so easily, etc.) remind the receiver to consume the food at once. Otherwise, you could be sued for attempted homicide if the receiver of the perishable suffers from food poisoning.

Still and all, if you ask me, the best thing to give during the Christmas season or any other season of the year (dry or wet) is LOVE. As Dear Michael J also reminds us again and again, give love on Christmas Day. Love is not a perishable item — that is, if given by the right person to the right person in all sincerity and purity. It will last forever and ever, amen!

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