Movies made in heaven

Do they make movies in heaven? If they do, can you imagine having the best pool of talents there —  made up of great Filipino artists who have all gone ahead of us?

Since there’s only happiness in heaven, maybe there should be a lot of comedy movies there and who would best provide the laughter than the great Filipino comedians who have long said their goodbyes to us: Pugo (finally reunited with Tugo), Chiquito, Panchito, Babalu, Apeng Daldal, Doro de los Ojos, Georgie Quizon, Tange, Bentot, Ramon Zamora and Rene Requiestas. What a riotous comedy this should be! At the premiere night, maybe Bert Marcelo can host and the affair directed by Ading Fernando. For the intermission, what about a vaudeville production number from Chichay, Aruray, Chuchi, Dely Atay-atayan, Menggay and Matimtiman Cruz?

Oh, surely they would need TV coverage. Inday Badiday can take care of that — with Mitos Villarreal directing the shots in the OB van.

Or maybe they would want a light musical comedy to be directed by Felicing Constantino or perhaps even Chaning Carlos to happily camp it up? They already have the best cast they would need there: No less than Nida Blanca and Nestor de Villa. Nida can do a dance duet with Lita Gutierrez, while Bayani Casimiro can have his own tap dance routine. Diomedes Maturan and Eddie Peregrina may most likely serenade the ladies, while Juancho Gutierrez woos them. Since Ricky Belmonte is also there, give him a song-and-dance number since he’s good at both. And Katy de la Cruz? She’ll jazz everything up.

Pancho Magalona and Tita Duran can also have their own separate romance movie — with Ike Lozada and Maria Teresa Carlson providing the comedy.

What about a youth-oriented movie in heaven? Rico Yan can be there, along with Miko Sotto and Jon-jon Hernandez — with Julie Vega and Strawberry as the young leading ladies. Jay Ilagan, Walter Navarro, Miguel Rodriguez, Jimmy Melendez, Edgar Salcedo and Juvy Cachola can play their guardians. These movie stars went ahead of us before they could reach 40, but were all part of youth-oriented movies and know the genre very well. Tony Santos Sr. will direct.

Now, do they cry in heaven? Perhaps only when we are bad here on earth. That’s when they will do drama, which they can very well do since the empress of drama is already there: The Charito Solis — with all the leading men she would need: The great profile Leopoldo Salcedo, brothers Rogelio and Jaime de la Rosa, Dindo Fernando, Mario Montenegro, Oscar Moreno, Leroy Salvador, Eddie Rodriguez, Vic Vargas, Ric Rodrigo, Ronald Remy, George Estregan, Lauro Delgado, Gil de Leon and Oscar Roncal. (Joseph de Cordova and Rod Navarro could be the spurned suitors). Mary Walter or Rosa Aguirre can play Charito’s mother — with Lily Marquez as her best friend, cousin or sister. Tessie Quintana could be her rival for someone’s affection. But wouldn’t it be wonderful for Charito and Rita Gomez to be in one movie together? Or perhaps with Alicia Vergel?

It would also be nice to put Charito in an acting duel with Carmen Rosales (the way Mameng and Lolita Rodriguez did in Octavia for Sampaguita in the early ’60s) and the first movie queen of Philippine movies Atang de la Rama singing a kundiman for a more dramatic effect. Lino Brocka and Ishmael Bernal will decide on that since they are directing the film — with Mina Aragon producing, but under the guidance of Dr. Jose Perez, Mommy Dolores Vera, Doña Sisang, Atty. Manny de Leon and Doña Adela Santiago.

For the movie trailer, Helen Vela — with her smooth as honey voice — may be tapped to do the narration. You may have forgotten, but Ate Helen did a lot of voice-over work for Regal Films in the late ’80s and all the way to the early ’90s.

In 1982, Helen Vela and Ben Hernandez also produced an action movie (Roman Rapido) for Fernando Poe Jr. Maybe they can do another one up there since the great FPJ is now with them. Imagine putting FPJ together with the other action superstars: Jess Lapid, Efren Reyes, Bernard Belleza, Jun Aristorenas, Cesar Ramirez, Anthony Alonzo and Eddie Fernandez. Maybe FPJ can also form another Lo-Waist Gang along with Zaldy Zshornack, Boy Sta. Romana and Bobby Gonzales.

For their villains, they can have Max Alvarado, Johnny Monteiro and Lito Anzures. But uh-oh, we have a problem here. Are there villains in heaven? Maybe they can import from down below — you know where. But they’ll be mostly politicians aspiring to be actors — and there are many of them. Oh no, I hope they don’t start corrupting heaven.