Taking care of a ‘Special Angel’

At 11, Thea looks like a typical pre-teen, seemingly as normal as any girl her age. The third-grader’s eyes sparkle at the sight of the cake/chocolate showcase at Cheesecake, Etc. (on Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City) and she cranes to read the signs across the street. She’s sharp and alert, blushing a bit when you tell her how pretty she is, stealing a glance at her Ate Iana, 13, a second-year high-schooler.

And then, the two girls’ mom, Angel Aquino, tells you that Thea is not as normal as she seems to be.

"Thea was born with congenital hydrocephalus," says Angel. "When she was three weeks old, she underwent a delicate brain surgery. I was afraid she would end up a vegetable. Thank God, she did not. But in Nov. 2005, she had a relapse so she had to go under the knife again."

Thea is Angel’s "Special Angel" although she and daughter Iana and the rest of the family don’t make her feel like one.

"We treat her not as a sick child but just like any normal child," says Angel. "I decided to send her to nursery school when she was three years old so she would grow up like any normal child and she would learn from her interaction with other kids."

But even at age five, Thea was speaking mostly in gibberish which only Iana could understand. Because she sees how her little sister is growing up under a trying condition, Iana has become more understanding and is maturing fast, according to Angel.

"I don’t make Thea feel that she’s any different from other girls," says Iana.

"What Thea needs," adds Angel, "is not pity but support and encouragement."

Looking back, Angel couldn’t find any reason why Thea was born that way.

"All I remember is that when I was conceiving, I was eating butter-milk pandesal sandwich all the time. That was my regular meal. It’s possible that Thea lacked proper nutrition when she was in my womb. On my second month of pregnancy, I bled profusely. I thought I would have a miscarriage. The ultrasound showed that my baby was weak."

Angel recalls that the doctor found out a bit late that Thea was suffering from hydrocephalus. Her head was bigger than normal when she was born.

"The OB-Gyne presumed that we had Caucasian blood, so she thought that it was normal. We began to worry when, at two weeks old, Thea was sleeping a lot and hardly moving. Her eyes looked sunken. She would throw up everytime she was fed."

A cranial ultrasound confirmed Angel’s biggest fear.

"Everything inside her head was water. Only a small part of her brain was seen in the ultrasound."

Angel had her first child when she was 20. Her ex-husband, Ian Bernardez, was 19. They met on campus at a Baguio university and theirs was a teenage marriage doomed from the start. It was annulled three years ago.

"We didn’t know any better," says Angel who has remained friends with Ian, now a graduating Nursing student at a Baguio university. "We were carefree. I became a single parent officially in 1997. We got married in 1995 but we didn’t really stay together. Ian would go back and forth between the US and the Philippines, until we formally broke up."

That was about the time Angel embarked on a showbiz career, starting as a model for a shampoo commercial and metamorphosing into one of the country’s finest actresses, noted for her subtle style of acting.

"I’ve been working since then," says Angel. "Luckily, I have my Nanay who helps keep house for me and my children. Nanay is like the wife and I the husband who brings home the bacon, who puts food on the table. I must admit that Nanay fulfills the kind of mothering that I fall short of."

To make up for the time she spends at work, during her free time Angel brings her Nanay, her two children and other members of their closely-knit family on out-of-town trips.

"That’s our bonding time," smiles Angel.

Thea has become epileptic as a side effect of her hydrocephalus and is taking medication for it.

"She’s growing up all right but the doctors said that we shouldn’t expect too much. She has a good memory. She’s good in spelling; she has been winning spelling contests in school. When I text her, I don’t abbreviate the words; I even use the dictionary to make sure that my spelling is correct."

Would Thea eventually grow away from her and have her own family?

Knocking on wood, Angel says she fervently hopes Thea would.

"Otherwise, if I have to be by her side until my last breath, I will do it. As long as she needs me, I will be there for her."

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