8 astronauts and an alien (well, almost)

Don’t hold your breath for an introduction — none is forthcoming.

Much like Sunshine (directed by Danny Boyle of 28 Days Later), truth to tell. You are dropped into the action, or lack thereof, aboard the spacecraft Icarus II, left on your own to keep asking stupid questions and hope one of the strange crew members manages to answer — in between neurotic episodes and violent arguments — to let you know just what the heck is going on.

I’m not being mean. I just feel duped. The trailer promised infinitely more than the movie delivered, for crying out loud. Besides, how many apocalyptic storylines can you come up with? Asteroid hits earth, earth’s molten core goes haywire, global warming screws up weather… better make each attempt the best you can, right?

Indeed, Sunshine’s premise was promising — though a little far-fetched if we are to believe physicists that the sun still has a few billion years on its warranty (it’s thought to be about 4.57 billion years old at the moment, thank you very much).

Still, the flick about jump-starting the sun should have been handled more thoroughly. Nobody went geek to explain how everything happened and how it would be resolved exactly. It’s a sci-fi film; it needs sublime geek-ness to thrive.

Sunshine doesn’t resonate with the same level of syrupy heroism as, say, Armageddon — and that’s a compliment. Keeping characters grounded is admirable. No Captain Americas in the bunch, at least not overtly and not before it’s time (don’t want to give too much away). Besides, they all expect to return to earth — no thanks, it seems, from the "Houston" we never get to hear from. What we have is a mishmash of personalities chucked into Big Brother’s house. Who is the most irritating? Who needs to be booted out? Sheesh, for a very important, last-chance-for-Earth mission, you’d think NASA or whichever agency blasted them into space would have checked their noggins for funny activity. The ragtag bunch is certainly far from ideal. But I digress; that would have made it an even less interesting flick.

For what we have is a nebulous film that epitomizes a-style-over-substance ethic. Its ensemble cast of sorts was sadly underutilized — reducing each to a cameo role. This is particularly depressing once you realize there is a grand total of eight characters in the movie (plus one pathetic antagonist). You might as well count among them the sun — which enjoys more screen time.

Oh, whatever. Let’s do a roll call: There’s Irish Cillian Murphy who plays Capa, the physicist who is the only one qualified to operate the bomb that should re-start the sun (such an important mission and only one knowledgeable dude?); Aussie actress Rose Byrne as Cassie, ship pilot and one-time damsel in distress who starred in Troy as the love interest of that actor they call Brad Pitt; New Zealander Cliff Curtis as medical officer (who spends half his time staring at the sun); Last Samurai alumnus Hiroyuki Sanada as Captain Kaneda; Chris "Human Torch" Evans as Mace, the no-nonsense engineer; Benedict Wong as Navigation Officer Trey; Troy Garity as Communication Officer Harvey; and, of course, there’s the great Michelle Yeoh, slated to co-star in another futuristic flick Babylon AD next year with Vin Diesel and Vincent Cassel. In Sunshine, she plays Corazon, the biologist tasked with the care of the ship’s garden — the primary source of oxygen and fresh food.

Sunshine creators have termed it a claustrophobic thriller, but the only claustrophobia you get is from the actors being stylistically cramped by their roles. Alien — now that’s a claustrophobic thriller!

To be fair, work on cinematography and effects was allright for a sci-fi project. Like I said, the sun had more than its fair share of big-screen time that it was an actor in its own right — mysterious, inviting, yet downright dangerous.

Grease pan with dubious screen play. Take a little Armageddon and The Core and dump in just a wee bit of Alien paranoia. Add prime-rib actors and undercook in low flame. Spice up with special effects. What do you get? Almost palatable, but generally a waste of totally good ingredients.

"Dark days are coming," declares the Sunshine website.

You better darn well believe it.